Walking down the same muddy path through the wet forest. Thinking my feet are going to get seriously wet going through the trail undergrowth. Note to self – must replace my 4 year old trail running shoes now the waterproofing acts more like a sponge.
Then a vision. I have finally gone mad. Am I seeing a little car parked on the path. A once clean white car now caked in mud. No apparently not as a couple are stood next to the car with a map.
“Excuse me can you tell us the way to Pickering”
By car of by foot?
“By road we got a little lost”
You do know this is a footpath and not a road.
“See I told you Phil but you wouldn’t listen”
“But the Sat Nav told me to come down here Judith”
Well for a start you are going to have to reverse back to the road.
“Are you sure but the Seat Nav is telling me to continue”
Well you could for another 4 ft then your going to hit a wall. After the wall it’s thick woods then farmers fields.
“But the Sat Nav is saying this is a B road”
To set the scene we have middle aged man pointing in the direction of that photo. Clearly that is where his Mythical road is heading. But he won’t accept that what faces him is a wall and oblivion. The woman is clearly about to murder said middle aged man.
Trust me you need to reverse the mile down the path. When you get to the road. And you can tell it’s a road as it has road markings on it. Then turn left. Head another mile and you will some to a junction with a sign pointing to Pickering.
“But the Sat…”
“Phil just shut the f**k up and listen to the young man. Get in that car and f****g reverse or so help me I am going to kill you.”
I like Judith increasingly – young man…. and with they got back in the car and started to reverse. When I say reverse they got stuck in the mud. So followed 30 minutes of following the car and with repeated pushes finally Phil and Judith made it back to the road network. I have had my workout for the day and I now resemble Rambo. Unfortunately I suspect Phil is so dead…