Walking down the same muddy path through the wet forest. Thinking my feet are going to get seriously wet going through the trail undergrowth. Note to self – must replace my 4 year old trail running shoes now the waterproofing acts more like a sponge.

Then a vision. I have finally gone mad. Am I seeing a little car parked on the path. A once clean white car now caked in mud. No apparently not as a couple are stood next to the car with a map.

“Excuse me can you tell us the way to Pickering”

By car of by foot?

“By road we got a little lost”

You do know this is a footpath and not a road.

“See I told you Phil but you wouldn’t listen”

“But the Sat Nav told me to come down here Judith”

Well for a start you are going to have to reverse back to the road.

“Are you sure but the Seat Nav is telling me to continue”

Well you could for another 4 ft then your going to hit a wall. After the wall it’s thick woods then farmers fields.

“But the Sat Nav is saying this is a B road”

To set the scene we have middle aged man pointing in the direction of that photo. Clearly that is where his Mythical road is heading. But he won’t accept that what faces him is a wall and oblivion. The woman is clearly about to murder said middle aged man.

Trust me you need to reverse the mile down the path. When you get to the road. And you can tell it’s a road as it has road markings on it. Then turn left. Head another mile and you will some to a junction with a sign pointing to Pickering.

“But the Sat…”

“Phil just shut the f**k up and listen to the young man. Get in that car and f****g reverse or so help me I am going to kill you.”

I like Judith increasingly – young man…. and with they got back in the car and started to reverse. When I say reverse they got stuck in the mud. So followed 30 minutes of following the car and with repeated pushes finally Phil and Judith made it back to the road network. I have had my workout for the day and I now resemble Rambo. Unfortunately I suspect Phil is so dead…

64 thoughts on “Not what I was expecting.”

  1. Son returns from school. Dad tells him what has happened. Son looks confused, disbelieving. Dad shows son encrusted clothes as proof. Son looks at dad and Captain Chaos. ‘Did you really think I’m going to buy that?’ Like the hole in one on your own, you will never overcome the dad-as-numpy back story. But you get to smile a little and we, your readers are a credulous. So thank you for the smile

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  10. Satnavs are great, but jeeees do they also show the stupidity of some people, like those who willingly drive into rivers and walls because they refuse to trust their instincts or that believe the robot lady in the machine could possibly be wrong. Good job there was a ‘young man’ there to get them back on the right track. Poor Judith. Poor Phil, I wonder if he ever got where he was going… Thanks for the giggles! 😆

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  13. Hilarious! I read a news story shortly after GPS systems became widely available. It was a story of how a woman drove into a river – in broad daylight because the GPS told her to make a left turn. Yeah. I don’t know why it is that people leave their common sense at home when they drive. I mean, I knew the area where she drove into the river – it’s an open field, and the river is easy to see. Why on earth would she blindly obey an automated voice recording instead of her own eyes is beyond me. Maybe she’s related to Phil….

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  23. People and their GPS gadgets. The google map app on the phone will send you to the middle of a field if you aren’t careful. I think the programmers do it on purpose.

    Did you check the obits for a deceased Phil?

    That wall looks OLD.

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  25. LMAO! Reminds me of one of my favorite bits from the American Office series: Michael and Dwight delivering baskets to past clients to win them back, using a sort of SatNav for directions. The directions say to turn, and Michael does–right towards a lake. Dwight points and calls out the lake, but Michael says, “The computer says to turn right!” And so they fight until the car is totally lost in the water.
    Lesson: Technology wants to drown us. xxxxx

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