After a weeks sabbatical it’s time to return to some terrible poetry. This week the Grand Bard Chelsea Owens has started the following guidelines.
Here are the specifics:
- At the excellent suggestion of Deb Whittam, our Topic is fractured nursery rhymes. Since I’ve done this categorybefore, the rule is that you must take an existing nursery rhyme as your base.
Mess up Mary’s lamb. Make Jack and Jill lose their heads; literally. Turn Little Jack Horner’s plum into a shark. - The Length is determined by the rhyme you choose. No, you needn’t do every stanza of “Old Mother Hubbard.” It’s up to you.
- In terms of Rhyming, that is also dependent on the one you choose. All the ones I’ve read rhyme, so you can count on doing the same.
- Please, young writers, Make it terrible! Mother Goose will spontaneously molt at the very mention of your name and children everywhere will be permanently scarred for six months.
- The target audience is children, so a G-Rating is necessary.
You have till 9:00 a.m. MST next Friday (October 18) to submit a poem.
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Row, row, row your boat
Gently down the stream
Merrily merrily, merrily, merrily
Life is but a dream
Row, row, row your boat
Gently down the stream
Merrily merrily, merrily, merrily
Life is but a dream
Row, row, row your boat
Gently down the stream
Merrily merrily, merrily, merrily
Life is but a dream
Row, row, row your boat
Gently down the stream
Merrily merrily, merrily, merrily
Life is but a dream
Now for the updated version
Row, row, row your brexit
Gently wants to make me scream
Terribly, terribly, terribly, terribly
Life is but a dirty scheme
Bankers, fill, fill fill your boots
Gently wrecking our kids dreams
Horribly, horribly, horribly, horribly
Life is ruled by corrupt regimes
Row, row, row your lies
Gently down the pan
Stupidly, stupidly, stupidly, stupidly
Life is run by an ignorant racist madman
Hedge funds , screw, screw screw your world
Gently throw the climate down the garbage can
Corruptly, corruptly, corruptly, corruptly
Life is a dream if you are the bogeyman
A Dad trying to cope with the loss of his Partner and becoming a single parent. 
A similar line of thought to mine today…well done, loved it!
Sent from my iPad
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Thank you
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Oh man… That’s Baaaad, dare i say even Terrible? 🤢
I’m running short of time but i’ll see what i can do.
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Exactly the point. It was a bit too good in version 1. needed further butchering
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With that hatchet job you may want to consider working for the meat trade???
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A veggie will go far in that one.
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I keep forgetting.
Maybe one day you’ll come back to the Dark Side??
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Ok your word next week is Chuffed.
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OK – but that was not what i meant…
… i meant you might once again become a carnivore! 😉
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Maybe….
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Heh heh heh! 😝
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🙏
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Terrible subject well butchered
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Thank you sir
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That’s epic sheep work.
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A real life political nursery rhyme!
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I’m not sure politics and nursery rhyme go together…
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I laugh, to keep from screaming
Well done! Well done indeed.
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I do as well.
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Oh what a terrible poem!!! Great job!
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Thank you
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Ha! Brexit is so ridiculous…and the fact it’s STILL not out. Well, not like my country’s one to talk with its own nonsense. Though I just have to say I find the whole impeachment thing its own level of ridiculous. Dude, election’s next year. Just elect the man out and then arrest him. The impeachment process is way more spectacle than anything else.
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It’s like a soap opera. Which is bound to end in a massive food fight that no one will ever win.
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