In the quiet my mind wandered. Watching and listening to the latest rain storm to crash into our little bungalow, sat on a little Yorkshire Hill.

How can I get Hawklad for a holiday somewhere. How to do it without ramping up his anxieties, how to fund it, where to go. I kept going back to previous holidays, holidays before our little world changed. Coming to the same phrase in my head.

Can never be the same again.

The logical approach is to go back to our former Swiss trip base, Spiez. I know how to get there, the ways that would work and not work for Hawklad. Ways to avoid queues, and crowds and anxieties. Familiarity is important to him, reassuring. Spiez would offer that.

Plus it is a wonderful base to explore the rest of Switzerland and even Northern Italy .

Plus it is one of Europe’s most beautiful bays.

BUT

Things have changed. It’s not 3 or maybe more now. It’s just 2 of us. So many memories there. Maybe so many ghosts round every corner…

Much to ponder, but it is one stunning place. Always will be a special place for us.

50 thoughts on “Never the same”

  2. I honestly don’t know. It sounds like you both need a holiday and it is the most glorious place. I guess you have to go back at some stage, if you can afford it. It can’t be the same but perhaps you both need to see it again before you can think about somewhere else. When my daughter was small I could only afford caravan holidays. My son was so much luckier because we could afford lovely holidays abroad. I can’t say which made either of them happier. It’s hard for you to make all the decisions for you and your son.

    Like

    Reply

  7. I hope you and Hawklad are able to travel back to Switzerland one day. It sounds like the biggest obstacle is helping navigate Hawklad’s anxiety.

    If you have not tried this already, can you try creating the itinerary together with Hawklad so that he feels part of it and could that help with minimizing his anxiety?

    I know this is very hard and I hope it will work out for you both one day soon.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  8. I think Ab’s got a good suggestion there but of course, I’m saying this not as someone living your life. When you talk about these trips with your son, I’m sure he has ideas about how he can manage his anxieties – independent of what you can do for him. Maybe a good trip will be possible with your loving guidance combined with his own efforts to make this a wonderful experience not just for himself but for his dear dad too.

    Like

    Reply

  9. Beautiful pictures, as always, my friend. How I wish I had a magic wand and could magically transport you and Hawklad back there to the place of your dreams. Someday, dear friend … someday. Hugs

    Like

    Reply

  12. Wow, lovely photos! But I have no wisdom to share about possibly making a move, changing Hawkland’s life, possibly triggering anxiety. But, when I start to get worried and upset about situations, I always turn everything over to The Holy Spirit. Letting God lead and guide you is the only way to get you where you need to be, while He takes care of the details! I will pray for wisdom & guidance for you, and peace & healing for the two of you! 🙏🏻 ❤️

    Like

    Reply

  13. Understand the mixed feelings but I think you should go for it! You both definitely deserve a vacation and while it may bring some tears being there I think overall it will bring the peace that you always felt there. 💚

    Like

    Reply

  14. A vacation sounds much needed. Maybe baby steps at first. Somewhere close and then find yourself back in that beautiful peaceful place.And to some beautiful memories. And yes they will be beautiful memories. Time sometimes has a way of healing but only if we allow it. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  16. Pingback: Center Stage 3/18/24 – Riddle from the Middle

Leave a comment