Bereavement brought in stark focus the thought ‘YOU ARE ON YOUR OWN’, NO one to bounce ideas off, to talk to, definitely SINGLE Parenting. It’s often a scary place to be, feeling like you are way out of your depth. Sink or swim without arm bands.

I’m getting that feeling again…..

All too quickly the Child Health and Autism Services that have worked with Hawklad since he was 5, that have provided support, therapy and help will be pulled when he hits 18. We’ve been warned that after that date, the support he can get will almost be nonexistent. If he does try to speak to a doctor, on the basis of at most, a 3 minute consultation, he may well just be prescribed Antidepressants, provided leaflets on Mindfulness and then sent on his way. Sink or swim without armbands again.

Definitely getting that uneasy feeling again.

41 thoughts on “Uneasy feeling”

  3. How the supports change for adults with disabilities has always flummoxed me. It is almost like society thinks that children will grow out of their disability and be able to function in the same manner as everyone else.

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  4. It’s an awful feeling to have knowing that the last door is about to shut. But I’ve learned that God always has something up His sleeve. He prefers to wait till all our earthly endeavours dry up before He shines His light upon a yet unseen path/door. Unfortunately, this hidden path/door is often… unseemly. The last thing we’d opt for on our own. But in the end, that is always the right one.

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  5. It should NOT be this way. Antidepressants? They have their place but doctors are too willing to prescribe them and they can be harmful. After a 3 minute conversation? Why has the world become so uncaring?

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  6. I do not understand why Hawklad would suddenly be considered “capable of independent existence” because he has an 18th birthday. I do not know how other nations treat this time of life, but in Canada services can go on until death. I worked with adults such as Hawklad will be, and it is all paid for by the government through grants to various agencies. That Britain could be so “cold and uncaring” is beyond my experience. Has it always been this way, or was this a recent decision by your Conservative government.

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  7. This is such an awful feeling to have and situation to be in, Gary. It is completely understandable to feel this way. I wish there were more services for adults as people don’t suddenly stop needing them when the clock strikes 18 years. I wish I could help. But in a way, know that you’re not alone and you have us on WP to bounce ideas off. 🙏

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  9. This is a disgrace Gary. The NHS and Education services are negligent in their duty. Just because someone reaches 18 doesn’t mean they don’t need help and support.
    You have probably already tried, but are there any support groups or forums you can sign up with? We have had to go outside the NHS for Hubby’s issues and were lucky to find a veterans support group. Treatment is ongoing and progress is slow, but finally he is getting the help he needs. The NHS have written him off in more ways than one lately.

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  10. I would encourage you to join a Bible believing church if you are not already a member. You certainly need some prayer warriors around you and your son. Peace to you.

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  11. It does put an enormous responsibility on your shoulders, Gary. Living with the boy’s problems since he was 5 must have been an uphill struggle. I’m sure you have a good idea of coping mechanisms but taking on the wider world must be a daunting challenge.

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  12. Two things I learnt from helping with the Care Farm project – gardening is good, there is help out there if you go out and nag for it (there were massive discrepancies in the support our clients got, based on how pushy their parents were – and these were people in their 30s and 40s,). Actually there were more than two, but these are the two useful ones.

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      1. I think a lot depends on individual workers and their particular enthusiasms. We once had a purge on taxi costs – it resulted in people being bullied into taking buses and good quality small operators losing out to big taxi companies. Not sure what savings they made in the end, but I do know they generated a lot of worry and poor service.

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  13. It’s really hard, Gary. Our youngest son was placed on the spectrum at age 3. We were fortunate to have had the best and most caring teachers and doctors through out his school years. He graduated college and went to graduate school where he received his degree in Library Science. Today he is a librarian, an opera singer, happily married with a 4 year old daughter. Please don’t give up hope, Gary. I know that must sound terribly easy for me to say but it’s coming from my heart with all good intentions. You may have to fight for Hawklad but it will all be worth it. You’re in my prayers.

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  15. Sending prayers for strength and the support you need. I know our fears for Willie and losing services. It’s definitely harder on the parents. The two of you have been so resilient. I pray it continues.

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