Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 64 Comments

Repeating movies

The Great British Summer. As we fast approach the longest day our paths are becoming increasingly flooded. Not sure we have seen the sun in June yet. Plus if it’s summer why have we got the heating on full blast….

I walk (or swim) down this path most days. When I was younger I hated walking or running down the same routes. Always had to find new paths, new places to explore. Now it’s a different world. I’ve changed. Maybe I’m just broken. I repeatedly walk the same routes. I never venture far. It almost feels like this is my little world now. I’m not really wanted or needed outside of these boundaries. So I pace the same paths making sure the outside world doesn’t encroach here. Doing the same thing reduces anxiety. It’s a defence mechanism. It’s probably how I survive.

Our Son likes doing the same thing. He becomes obsessive about certain things. Repetition is king. I’ve talked with him about it. He doesn’t see it as an anxiety thing. For him it’s enjoyment. It’s who he is. Take movies as an example. We hardly watch any TV now but we do watch a lot of movies. Saturday night is when we match a new movie. During the rest of the week Son likes to repeatedly watch a really small list of movies.

Thor

Thor – The Dark World

Thor – Ragnarok

The Avengers

Guardians of the Galaxy (fast forwarding the first few minutes)

Captain America – Winter Soldier

Sherlock Holmes x 2 – the Robert Downey Jr ones

Fantastic Mr Fox

ScoobyDoo – Frankencreepy

Pirates of the Caribbean

Jumanji – Welcome to the Jungle

To be fair it’s not a static list. New ones can be added like Avengers End Game and Peter Rabbit.

With his bad hand he is coming back from school and just resting. That means it’s extended movie time. We have had both Sherlock Holmes movies basically on repeat for the last week. Since Saturday we have seen both movies 5 times. That type of repetitive behaviour is common place here. I remember one consultant wanting to deal with this as an OCD problem. Fortunately we didn’t follow his advice. This fits firmly within the Autistic Repetitive/obsessive realm. As such our son is very comfortable with this. He finds great comfort and enjoyment from it. It’s not a mental health disorder that is somehow treated away – it’s a lifelong personality trait

When I asked him about watching the same movies again and again he said

“I enjoy these movies more than seeing different ones. I am safe in the these worlds. I can dream without fear. I see new small details every time I watch them. The characters are friends. The hero’s never fail.”

So we watch Sherlock Holmes and a Game of Shadows. Mycroft (Stephen Fry) delivers the immortal line.

The two countries shall remain unnamed but I can tell you they speak French and German.

Son laughs until tears roll down his face. Movies are great especially the ones that make the repetitive list.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 61 Comments

Best buddies

Three things from this photo

  • OMG the garden needs some attention (only a little bit in view but it’s a fair representation of the rest)
  • I must take down last years Catherine Wheel Firework
  • Captain Chaos with a couple of his best buddies.

The dog has many buddies. Our fat cat (he particularly likes him when he is covered in food and he becomes a mobile dinner plate). The Frog and the Toad who he desperately tries to lick when they hop across the garden. The Pigeon who he follows round the garden. The Sheep who he likes sniffing. The Squirrel who buries his nuts in our lawn and the dog who goes round digging them up. AND TWO COWS.

The farmer has a herd of cows in the field which backs onto our garden. Something like 30 cows and he will bark at 28 of them. Especially if they come anywhere near our (sorry his) fence. So they tend to keep their distance. But two cows are different. Two are clearly special. He doesn’t bark at them, just wags his tail furiously. When the cows see the dog they immediately head towards the fence and meet the crazy mutt. Then the meeting of species gets a tad personal. Nose to nose, looking into eyes and much licking. I’m not sure who has got the worse of this arrangement. Not sure I fancy being licked by a cow but I’m not sure a crazed Captain Chaos lick attack is much fun either. This lasts for about 5 minutes then they slowly walk along the fence munching on grass. This can go on for hours – it’s the only time the dog does anything slowly. Yes our dog pretends to be a cow.

Have any of your pets had strange buddies?

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 105 Comments

Moody

It’s been one of those days. Lack of sleep, work piling up, house falling to bits, nothing seeming to go to plan. Mood level – somewhere between not great and moody. This photograph sorta sums it up.

Well Son went to school for the first time since he had his accident at school last week. He was still in a lot of pain but we decided to give it a go. Dosed up on child painkillers he was dropped off. School given clear instructions to contact me immediately if he was struggling with the pain and I would pick him up.

No phone call came from school so I assumed things went ok. If only.

Apparently during his first lesson the pain started to get worse. At the end of the lesson the class teacher noticed he was struggling and he was told to get his bag and go to reception. Reception then sent him to see a senior teacher – a teacher who has had no contact with our son previously. Son told him the circumstances, that he was struggling with pain and the instructions I had given school. The teacher went onto the computer and after a few seconds said something like

“You have had a lot of time off. Your attendance record is too poor for you to be sent home. Go to reception get some painkillers and then go to your next lesson.”

So he stayed in school, in pain and in his words not able to concentrate on any of his lesson.

Mood level now – pissed off.

Yes his attendance record has dropped below 95% – a Government target. Yet that’s because he has had two accidents AT SCHOOL which have required hospital intervention and medically approved time off. Take those out and his record is just about 100%.

So it appears that if attendance drops below 95% then regardless of pain level or illness, a child will not be sent home. However a child with an attendance over 95% would be sent home. Apparently today a girl fell over and hurt her knee. She was in tears and clearly in a lot of pain but was not sent home due to her attendance record. Yet a boy who had a sore throat was sent home because they had a good attendance record.

Mood level now – Apoplectic.

So tomorrow I will drop off son and then demand to see the Headteacher. The only reason I’m not doing it now is that son wants me to calm down as he doesn’t trust me at the moment. That is probably a really good call.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 119 Comments

Tell me why

In my voice – Tell me why

  • My partner was taken from us when she was so young.
  • The system continually fails our son.
  • The Government can find billions to bribe other parties to keep it in power but can’t find the money to fund education support for the kids who need it.
  • I don’t sleep anymore.
  • They say the world is getting smaller yet I feel so isolated.
  • Chocolate has so many blooming calories.
  • Hair doesn’t like growing on my head yet it sprouts like an Amazonian Forest on the back of the my hands.
  • The cat continually finds a way into the wardrobe.
  • I can’t find any socks in this house.
  • They never made a Captain Scarlet movie.

In our son’s voice – Tell me why

  • My mum had to die.
  • Both my grannies had to die.
  • My hamster had to die.
  • My girl cat who was like a sister to me had to die.
  • I can’t read.
  • Some people think I am stupid just because I am autistic and dyslexic.
  • Shops have to be so busy.
  • Hazard is leaving Chelsea.
  • Do people have to kiss in films.
  • Marvel Movies are way better than DC Movies.
  • Most kids don’t like rock music.
  • Broccoli wasn’t deemed an inedible plant.
  • My Dad can’t cook.
  • In our dogs voice – Tell me why
      • I get shouted at for pinching socks.
      I get shouted at for digging holes.
      I get shouted at for eating garden tools.
      I get shouted at for eating garden furniture,
      I get shouted at for digging up plants.
      I get shouted at for burying stuff like socks.
      I get shouted at for pulling bits of the apple tree off.
      I get shouted at for escaping.
      I get shouted at for climbing in the hedge.
      I get shouted at for eating cat poo, cow poo, sheep poo.
      I get shouted at for pinching food.
      My best friend isn’t with us anymore. I know I am a dog but she was a really cool cat.

    In our boy cats voice – Tell me why

    • My sister isn’t with us anymore.

    • My best friend, the really lovely woman has gone. I miss siting on her lap.
    • I get shouted at for missing the cat litter by several feet.
    • I get really shouted at for missing the litter by so many feet I hit the wall.
    • I get shouted at for sitting in front of the TV when a movie is on.
    • I get shouted at for sneaking into the wardrobe and getting white hairs on all the black clothes.
    • I get shouted at for falling in hot plates of food.
    • I get shouted at for always tripping people up.
    • I get shouted at for sleeping on the laptop.
    • I get shouted at for sleeping on the toaster.

    In our gerbils voice – Tell me why

    • We don’t live in a toilet roll factory.
    Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 98 Comments

    Confession time

    I need to come clean about something. A secret I have hidden from all but my closest family, friends and postman. Darkness personified. Please don’t be too upset with me.

    I have a beard.

    There you go I’ve admitted it now.

    It’s a recent thing. Not as if I was born with it. I was born with a mass of black curly hair. Was almost called Jimmy after rock guitarist Jimmy Hendrix. Yes born with his hairstyle. A few years later I would have been named Brian after another rock guitarist. In the end I was named after an actor who played in many cowboy movies without a beard.

    When the beard started our son never mentioned it. Well not until he told someone working at a ticket office that his dad was trying to get a job with ZZTOP.

    Trust me it’s not that long….

    I understand the technical term is a short beard. A number 1. Rather aptly I had to re-type short as my first attempt replaced the or with an i.

    It’s funny in the 17 years I was with my partner the subject of beards only came up once. That was on a French TGV speed train. So I don’t know if the beard would be fondly stroked or would produce a Paddington Bear like stare followed by the words “shave it now”.

    Is it time for the beard to go. I’ve decided that I am now even less likely to be mistaken for George Clooney.

    It’s never going to happen. Take George’s beard and transplant it on the back end of a Honey Badger. That’s what we are dealing with.

    So maybe it’s time to say goodbye.

    But our son is now not keen to say goodbye to it. This is an amazing turnaround as a few years back on a French train the guard had a beard. As he walked down the packed carriage our young son stood up, pointed at the beard and shouted “he’s got rabies”. By the look on the guards face that was three words of English he fully understood.

    Now as part of his strategy to save the beard he has named it. As everyone knows if you name something it suddenly gets protected status. So what do I do now.

    By the way the beard is now name Mr Crimble….

    Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 65 Comments

    Alone

    Complete white out. Zero vision. Your boots constantly struggling to find grip on the sheet ice. All you can hear is the wind howl and your rasping breathe. Somewhere to your right are bone breaking crags, to your left a 200 feet sheer drop. Holding the ice axe waiting for the inevitable fall. The trail has disappeared. The map is useless. The compass won’t give an accurate reading. Alone. Are you too far right or god help you …. too far left. Too late to turn back. Your only guide is to follow the sharp slope upwards to the summit.

    The delights of winter mountaineering. Or is a metaphor for life. Disorientation, lost, no idea where your going, unattainable goals, alone, no plan, fear and panic.

    Then hope. A kind word. A caring hand in the dark. Brief enlightenment.

    The clouds briefly part. The beautiful mountain summit reveals itself. You survived that crisis. Panic subsides. Your pounding heart starts to ease. The break in the clouds is short lived. But you have a path. You have a direction. You have hope. The climb continues.

    Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 76 Comments

    Deliver it….

    Another day, another strange smelly thing to roll in, another bath.

    I was talking to a very wise blogger and a new game popped into my head. It’s a game Son and I played as we waited for a Doctors appointment.

    This started by slagging off the U.K.’s Secretary of State for the Environment (god help it) – Michael Gove. I talked about sending a letter just marked ‘To the worlds slimiest man” and it would be delivered to Gove.

    So you have to send a letter to a famous person. But you can’t use their name or address. How do you ensure the postman knows where to deliver the letter.

    Son – To the smelliest dog in the world. Letter would be delivered to our very own Captain Chaos.

    Me – The Buffoon. Letter delivered directly to Boris Johnson (a clown masquerading as a U.K. politician and potential future PM)

    Son – The Orange One. Letter straight to President Trump

    Me – Current address unknown previous address Ecuadorian Embassy. Julian Assange

    Son – America’s Bottom. Avengers spoiler can’t reveal answer

    Me – Most overrated rock star ever. Delivered to Bono

    Son – Useless, incompetent, stubborn and generally not very nice. Goes straight to the UK Prime Minister

    Son – To the worlds nicest man. Sent to Sir David Attenborough.

    Me – Returning this App to sender as its crap. Delivered to the developers of WordPress for the iPad.

    Son – Darth Sidious, The Sith Lord. Postman delivers to Senator Palpatine, If the postman can see this why can’t Yoda.

    Me – Rubbish Film Script. Will arrive at the offices of the Star Wars Movie Director

    Son – Package contains cockroaches. Urgent delivery to Bear Grylls

    Me – Missing Tax Return. Another one being delivered to Trump

    Son – Most overrated footballer ever. Letter straight to David Beckham

    Son – To the worlds worst chef. Delivered to Dad

    Son – To a muppet. Delivered to Dad

    Me – Just F******g deliver it. Straight to Gordon Ramsey

    Can you think of some new ones…..

    Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 40 Comments

    Random Quotes

    Things have been a crazy over last week or so. It’s either busy or being even more tired than usual. Can’t work out which. But I’ve been very remiss on responding to stuff. Sorry. Anyway let’s at least respond to one thing quickly.

    Thank you to Rory (A Guy Called Bloke) for the Random Quotes. His quotes are epic. The subject is Attitude so let’s do some quotes.

    Always try to get at least one of my heroes in. Time for some Carl Sagan.

    “The really intelligent people have an attitude of fact finding rather than fault finding”

    Next are from another person sadly not with us anymore. The one if a kind Lemmy (Motörhead).

    “I’ve been known as Lemmy since I was around 10. I didn’t always have the mustache … I’ve only had that since I was 11”

    “If you’re going to be a fucking rock star, go be one. People don’t want to see the guy next door on stage; they want to see a being from another planet.”

    One from the brilliant Stephen Fry

    “Taste every fruit of every tree in the garden at least once. It’s an insult to creation not to experience it fully”.

    My 3 tags for quotes about attitude are

    Stella Bailey

    A Pondering Mind

    LOLSYS Library

    Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 56 Comments

    Ice

    Son got his ice cream today. I got myself a slush puppy. The weather was that cold that the slushy never melted – 2 hours later it was still good to go.

    Speaking to a local even he said “That sea wind is brutal today”

    When I took my coat and gloves off I was like an ice cube.

    On the drive back I had the heater on full blast. Still cold.

    Needed the hottest of hot baths.

    Have you ever been that cold that when you get into a steaming hot bath – you’re body is that frozen that within a couple of minutes the bath is only lukewarm.

    Son was fine he stayed in the warm car watching downloaded movies. Can you work out what film he made me watch tonight … Ice Age.

    Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 56 Comments

    Hermione

    On the other side of this Bush is a stunning view yet it’s blocked by plant beauty.

    Our Son loves history. You often see him watching very in-depth documentaries about a vast range of historical subjects

    • Romans
    • Viking
    • Pharaohs
    • Greeks
    • Persians
    • Incas
    • American Presidents
    • British Kings and Queens
    • Battles and Wars
    • and on and on

    Unfortunately he doesn’t get the chance to extend this knowledge at school (yet).

    It’s probably due to being put in the bottom set due to his dyslexia but the teaching is at such a low level. Son says he will keep watching historical videos as it’s the only way he learns anything new. He smiles when he calls himself the Hermione Granger of the History class. If the teacher asks a question he is always the first hand up but is never selected to answer.

    I think one incident really sums up the problem.

    In a test the class were asked to name facts about King John. Our Son then provided an in-depth answer which talked about

    • When King Richard the Lionheart was captured on the third crusade John (his brother) negotiated with the captors to keep him imprisoned
    • He lost most of his fathers empire
    • After he was forced to retreat from France he alienated himself from the many of the barons and a rebellion started
    • Eventually the two factions started negotiating after months of conflict. The end result was the Magna Carta which limited the power of the crown.
    • He then got the Pope to declare the Magna Carta invalid sparking more civil conflict which spilled into the reign of the next king – his son Henry III
    • He may well have killed his nephew (Arthur of Brittany) a potential rival
    • John was excommunicated when he refused to let the Pope have a say in the selection of a new Archbishop of Canterbury
    • He probably died of dysentery

    That is my son speaking not me. My knowledge of John ends with the Magna Carta being signed under his rule and the stuff in Ivanhoe.

    His teacher spoke to our son and basically told him that he provided too much information. That he was in Year 7 and he shouldn’t know this stuff until Year 10. That’s a way of inspiring his love of the subject. To be fair to the teacher her approach to learning is what the government wants. Sadly the government understands as much about education (and actually most other areas) as does that Bush in the photograph.