Don’t you just love Amazon. I bought a repair kit for our paddling pool and a replacement electric pump. It’s one of those pools that would take at least a decade to partially inflate if I tried old school. So with a mini heatwave hitting this weekend, I ordered in plenty of time. The items arriving from the same supplier on Wednesday. Wednesday arrived and the repair kit arrived but no pump. The order now showing delivery on Thursday. Thursday came and went…..

The order now showing that the pump was at an incorrect carrier facility. It had been at our local facility with the repair kit but had somehow found it’s way to one 150 miles away. On Friday the pump had moved, further away. Now 200 miles away but delivery was still expected on Thursday……. But hope was there. It was now in transit again…

So where are we now. Its Sunday and the pump is NOT HERE. It did make its way back to our local facility. Briefly. It is now not even in England…. It’s mystery bus ride has taken it to Scotland. But again there is hope 😂😂😂😂


Had one of those moments last night. One which seemed to contradict the very fabric of scientific thinking as we know it today. Could this really happen to someone after millions of years of evolution of the species.

I couldn’t sleep. 4am in the morning. Sleep wasn’t coming tonight. I had given up trying and had headed into the kitchen to make a hot drink. I started singing a Beatles song to pass the time as the tea bag brewed away. Suddenly a woman’s voice. Am I going mad. Must just be me. I started singing again and there again was that woman. A definite female voice. This time asking if I was alright. A secret lover (that secret it would have been news to me)…. A ghost!!! I ran out of the kitchen and slammed the door shut.

This morning looking back. What a pillock…. Spooked by the helpful Amazon Alexa app.

Star Wars

A new day. New hope.

I should pen the next Star Wars movie.


Dad what are you looking at Amazon for?”

I was kind of toying with the idea of getting ME a Lego set.

Which one Dad?”

I’ve always wanted the Star Wars Death Star. Wanted that for years. Maybe even the Millennium Falcon.

Are you going to buy one then?”

No. Definitely No. have you seen the prices. Death Star is £600 and the Falcon is £250.

Wow. Think of the milkshakes you could buy me with that money…”

Stop sniggering, I might just get that big box of loose lego out and make my own creation. Much cheaper and probably more fun.

Dad you could script out a new Star Wars movie..”

That’s an idea. Could give myself a role in the movie. Maybe a heroic Jedi night. Maybe the new Hans Solo. Maybe even the dashing new evil Sith Lord….

No Dad, only one rule for you. Jabba The Hut….”

I walked right into that one 😂



Three things are just about guaranteed in life.

  • Snow will be close but not close enough to allow son to sledge this season,
  • When you are straining to complete that last set of pushups a pet will pick that moment to lick your face,
  • Amazon will mess up.

Son has wanted a table tennis set for ages. I have always put it off due to the cost and the lack of space. Finally I thought – bugger it let’s get him one. We have no where in the house which has enough space to use it inside. So the table will need to be portable so I can put it up in the garden. It will also need to be big enough to make it easier for him to enjoy playing with it. The solution appeared to be a 3/4 size foldable table. I narrowed it down to 2 products on Amazon. I went for the one that would definitely deliver before his birthday. Job down. Well not exactly as this is Amazon.

The table was due to be delivered today.

Unfortunately I missed a word from that sentence. The word is NOT. Yes I got the dreaded ‘Your item has been delayed’ email. Turns out it that it’s been out of stock for weeks. They are hoping to deliver a few days after birthday now. Yes I can cancel the order but it’s too late to get another table here before his birthday. Well thank you Amazon.

But no it doesn’t stop there. The second part of his birthday list was a mini table football game. It arrived today in a surprisingly small box. Even more surprising was that the box had the name George Foreman on the side. Didn’t realise he had diversified into kids toys. Yes Amazon had sent a Lean Mean Grilling Machine. Not sure how we play football on that…..

What followed was a dash into the city for birthday Plan C. Thankfully I returned with a Table Football set and a few other things which will keep Son happy until the Table Tennis package arrives. I dread to think what Amazon might send this time. Maybe something like a Slush Puppy machine. A BMW. A Grand Piano.

It’s not all bad. The George Foreman Grill should have cost a lot more than the Table Football game which I originally bought. So we are keeping the grill. Turned out to be a decent bargain. Thank you Amazon.