I think we can just about claim a white Christmas. Everywhere else is just ice and a bit of slush. But in the front garden it kind of lives on. None left in the neighbouring gardens.
So hope everyone is feeling happy, loved and valued. If not them I’m sending shed loads of hugs out.
Well not quite…..
Can you spot someone practising to be either Cyclops from the X-Men or Vision from The Avengers.
This was 7.20pm on Christmas Eve. It’s as white as it’s going to get. Thought I had better take a photo while it’s at its DEEPEST…..
So as we fight to survive this mega blizzard I want to send you warm winter wishes your way. ❤️
So that’s the shopping done for the week. We are now officially closed for Christmas. Time to get behind our fence and shut the world out for 7 days. Or longer if we are plunged into a Tier 4 lockdown (more of the country will go that way on Boxing Day apparently).
So it’s Christmas Eve on Plague Island. It’s not entirely sure if its a virus related Plague or a Plague of self absorbed, imbecilic, on the take, cretins apparently running this country.
We have enough food and drink to last us weeks. We have enough options to cobble together a couple of special holiday meals for two. Certainly not Plan A or B food options, but the C menu will be just fine. Actually with my Thanos like cooking skills at the click of the fingers any food taste can be suddenly turned to dust. So it really doesn’t matter in the end.
A few days of being an island cut adrift from the world has started to take its toll. Hardly any fresh fruit or veg in the store. The stuff which is still there is getting snapped up instantly. No chocolate ice cream. I will say that again. No chocolate ice cream. Oh the humanity….
But in the scheme of things. We are so fortunate. Too many are not so lucky.
So we are lucky to be on the right side of our fence. Hawklad is definitely not on Santa’s naughty list. Me – I’m not so sure. Yes the weather is horrible but actually if you close your eyes, the sun will still shine.
Yes it’s alright in this side of the fence, living on Plague Island.
It’s that time of year. A definite feel to the movies we have watched. Can you see the theme.
Scrooged
Home Alone 1, 2, 3, 5
The Grinch
A Christmas Carol
Muppets Christmas Carol
The Santa Clause 1,2,3
Elf
National Lampoons Christmas Vacation
The Polar Express.
For me I just can’t quite catch the connection. Sure there must be one if I look hard enough.
One of the things that feels amiss this most odd year (that doesn’t work as 2020 is even) is the cinema experience. Before Hawklad we would always have a Christmas trip to the pictures (as my mum would have said). A meal before hand and then a movie. Such a lovely experience. So many wonderful memories.
Taking my mum to see The Horse Whisperer on Boxing Day. She hadn’t been to the pictures in 40 years. She was most puzzled not to watch the Pathe News segment before the movie. She refused to get up at the end and waited until the credits played through. Apparently she was waiting for the National Anthem to be played…
Trips with my partner to see huge blockbusters on Christmas Eve like the Lord of the Rings Movies. Then coming out in time to sing carols in the city centre.
Even after the world changed Hawklad and I kept the tradition going. A changed Aspergers tradition. We would take in the first, early morning screenings of movies like Jumanji and the Rise of Skywalker. Popcorn at 8am works on so many levels. Then we would go and get him his favourite takeout. All before midday.
But this year it’s no cinema. Any trip is just so out of reach for Hawklad and his anxieties. The world has changed. Even the prospect of Wonder Woman and Black Widow epics won’t overcome those fears. Maybe the trips to the Pictures have stopped for good. We will just have to see what the future holds but life goes on. It’s time to recreate that Christmas tradition at home. So we will pick a movie. A good movie. Set the dvd off at 8am. Microwaved popcorn in plentiful supply. The Christmas Cinema tradition continues.
Say that again…..
I so need to have a notebook which I carry around in my pocket at all times. Every time something is mentioned that has the slightest chance of becoming important then I could write it down. A permanent record to prompt my sieve like memory and stop those say that again moments.
Had a few too many of those over the last few days.
“Dad did you get the glazed cherries for our Christmas Eve treat?”
Say that again!!!!
“Dad did you buy the Home Alone 4 dvd for our Christmas Day movie?”
Say that again!!!!
“Dad did you phone school before they broke up to tell them that the Teams password isn’t working?”
Say that again!!!!
“Dad did you remember to make a donation to the school charity appeal last Thursday?”
Say that again!!!!
“Dad did you phone up XXXXXXX mum to get hold of their address so we can send them a card?”
Say that again!!!!
“Dad you haven’t forgotten that we are having Salmon to eat on Christmas Eve?”
Say that again!!!!
“Have we got the sausage rolls, French sticks, onion rings, pineapple rings, Doritos and mango chutney in for our Christmas Eve buffet?”
Say that again!!!!
“Dad did you remember that you said that you would send a copy of the family tree to Auntie Xxxx”
Say that again!!!!
“Dad did you remember to take the bread out of the oven. It’s been in there for most of the day and it’s looking a bit burnt.
Say that again!!!!
“Mr Xxxxxxxxx did you remember to submit form 5a. It needs to be received by the end of this month or the service will stop.
Say that again!!!!
“Ok you will need to give your dog these nasal sprays at least once a day. Will your dog sit still to let you do that.”
Say that again!!!!
I was conscious that this Christmas will be different for us, different for Hawklad.
No end of school term activities and parties.
No Carol singing in the city while drinking hot chocolate.
No Santa Train ride. Ok we are doing our own car version.
No Charity Santa coming through the village on a trailer pulled by a tractor.
No festive walks along the beach and finishing off at a little cafe for his festive ice cream.
No visits to friends.
No family meet-ups.
No trips to the Christmas Market.
No trip to the zoo in New Years Day.
No family Christmas meal.
No Boxing Day walk with picnic.
No festive trip to the cinema to see a blockbuster and then whatever festive film they have showing.
No carol singers coming round the houses on Christmas Eve.
Basically it will be just the two of us and pets. Sticking to the house and garden. Maybe only one trip out to do the Santa Car ride. I was feeling bad about that so I brought it up with Hawklad. I explained the differences to him
……. so it’s going to be really different this year. How do you feel about that Hawklad?
“So no family at all?”
None!
“Absolutely no visitors?”
None!
“No festive trips out?”
It doesn’t look like it.
“Dad, can we order in extra pizza over Christmas?”
Yes Son.
“Well that will be just fine then…….”
A beautiful train line in the distance. Even beautiful at night…
Last night we had a chat about Christmas. This year will be a slightly different one. No family visits and wider family meals. No friend visits. No 50000 spectator football match. No concert. No special trips out. No nice country walks. No carol singers. No Father Christmas riding through the village on a tractor collecting for charity and then handing out sweets to the kids. Basically just us, the pets, the house, the garden and one visit from the jolly big fella dressed in red.
It’s still Christmas. Still a time to make memories. Still a time to live. So we make the best of it. Never forgetting those we love the most.
Last year we thought that we had started a new tradition. A trip out on a Christmas Train. A wonderful night trip on the North Yorkshire Moors Railway. A beautiful illuminated stream train with even some magical creatures in the passing fields.
So we had planned to do the same this year……
Well it’s not happening. So it’s time for plan b. We have decided that on the same day as last year we will head out on our own polar express. I have some really cheap solar powered Christmas lights. The car will adorned with these. A Christmas music cd will be loaded up on the car stereo. Christmas snacks will find their way into the car. Silly hats and reindeer jumpers will be donned. And off we go on our own polar express. A slow drive around a little used country lane route.
That’s a start. What else can we come up with. What new memories can be born. Always remembering to carry those we love in our hearts as memories are made.
Some of the plants are already starting to show some Autumnal colours. It’s only August….
It’s 131 days to Christmas. In normal times 131 days sounds like ages. I suspect this year it may not seem such a generous amount of time for many people, including parents. Pandemic rules, shopping restrictions, reduced product availability, money just that bit tighter, many still isolating. Plus remember last year – one of Hawklads presents was ordered in November and finally arrived in March. Yep this might be a challenge. I think I need to write a list. Yes I am good at doing lists. Unfortunately I am not so good at following list. And as for trying to find those lists after a few days – I’m a complete disaster. I need a list to help find the lists.
Occasionally I do stumble across long forgotten lists. I found one recently dating back 15 years. It was a list of mountains I had set myself a goal of climbing. 60 bucket list climbs. 15 years and I had ticked three as climbed. Another one had been attempted but I had to turn round near the top as I came across someone who had hurt their knee. So ended up helping her back down. So that’s 4. In my book just attempting a climb and coming back in one piece counts as ticking it off. Basically been stuck on 56 to go for years now. That’s another one of my great lists just basically gathering dust. Maybe I can change the wording on that list. How about 56 bucket list climbs that I will never complete. Change the wording and suddenly the list is completed. I can then bin it.
But no. The original list went back into the cupboard. A bit of paper soon to be lost again. This time I took a photo of the 56 climbs still to be attempted. Actually added a couple of Himalayan mountains to the list – might as well make it more sexy. The list is on my iPad now. So it won’t be lost and actually it might be a rare useful Gary list. It’s a great reminder that I’ve STILL got stuff to do and achieve in my life. It might seem like that I have not yet ticked off many things from my life lists but from today that CAN start to change.
Unbelievably Santa did not give Captain Chaos coal for Christmas. How did he not make the naughty list.
He got more presents than I did. Even the neighbour whose prized lawn he’s dug up sent him his own card. Unbelievable. Actually it’s not that hard to understand. He brings such joy, fun and life to the house. Humans really don’t deserve dogs as friends. We need to learn from their unconditional love.
No visitors, no phone calls. Splendid festive isolation. Perfect for our son. The dad from a few years back would have balked at that. That’s before Aspergers entered our family. Now isolation is the new rock and roll. Thats where a Captain Chaos comes in. He fills the gap created by the isolation. He more than fills that gap.
Dad I thought you had bought yourself a present. Are you not going to open it.
Maybe a bit later.
Looking at that puzzled look on your face you have lost it haven’t you.
Yep put it in a safe place so I wouldn’t lose it. And I can’t remember where now… Don’t you just hate that.
*************
Anyway the missing present is not missed. Too busy trying to duck and weave to avoid a flying well chewed Christmas Cuddly Robin. This is actually the quiet before the storm. Captain Chaos has still got to open his odd looking present. A 3ft long squeaking cuddly snake. Really wish my missing present was a set of ear muffs and maybe a safety helmet. Think I’m going to need them.
Christmas Eve has been very damp and exceptionally grey. No colour at all. So it called for some colour from a couple of weeks ago. Today this is as colourful as it gets. I can’t think of a name for this at the moment.
As I’ve got older I’ve become more used to dealing with the inevitable life curveballs. But not completely. The dreaded demon curveball still gets through.
Dad if I had been a girl what would you and mum have called me.
I couldn’t remember and that’s a great start to 24th December. My defence is that we found out very early on in the pregnancy that it was boy names only. But I still should remember that. Those fun brainstorming seasons for two unprepared newbie parents in waiting. But nothing. It felt like I had let down our son and lost another important link with my partner. It hurt. It hurt like mad. Yes you can hurt at this time of year. Sadly so many do. Sending everyone of you a hug.
To try and clear my head I went outside to do my odd outside thing. Push a wheelbarrow around the garden a few times. It’s hard work but that’s the point. In the middle of the garden was a stray Santa’s Hat – presumably courtesy of Captain Chaos. So as the effort started to do its job I donned the slightly soggy hat. Wheelbarrowing in the rain. Like to see Gene Kelly’s face if that was the song he was given all those years ago to dance to. Wheelbarrowing in the rain did its job. Mind reset. I have one job and that is to make our son happy. Make him happy this Christmas. Need to get back to my A Game.
“Son when was the last time you had whip cream direct from the canister into the mouth”
Never Dad.
“Well you are now”
So that’s what we did. Soon this was escalated to shaving foam covering my entire face. It kinda suited me. Still no George Clooney but a vast improvement. A look all the more better for the sound of laughter filling the house.
Dad do you fancy a first to hit the crossbar challenge.
Followed a few minutes later with
Dad you do know it’s first to kick the ball onto the goal crossbar not first to repeatedly kick the ball into next doors garden challenge
As I spent a quite a bit of time retrieving the football from next doors garden I got to spend a bit of time noticing how a garden should look like. Very neat and tidy with immaculate lawns. Well almost immaculate. A couple of ugly holes courtesy of an escaping Captain Chaos. That’s compared to our garden which is more akin to a ploughed farmers field courtesy of moles, son and CAPTAIN CHAOS. Maybe 2020 is the year of the NEAT GARDEN. More likely it’s the year of the NEED A NEW GARDEN. So as the ball sailed over the hedge again son shouted.
Dad what would you call me now if I was a girl.
This time the curve ball missed.
“Laa Laa Po Dora the Explorer Elsa Tinkerbell”
Really Dad. All those names.
“No son Dads fibbing.”
Good I was getting worried. It’s a joke then
“Yes”
Maybe you could call me either Daphne Blake or Velma Dinkley
“Jinkies that’s a good idea”
So a day that threatened to be scuppered on a girls name ended with laughs about a girls name. Like many folks I operate on such fine margins. With so little separating happiness and sadness. I really hope this Christmas you find happiness.
A Dad trying to cope with the loss of his Partner and becoming a single parent. 