I have a friend from university who has steadfastly shunned as much new technology as possible. He has no home computer, still uses video and vinyl, has no cd or dvd player. Doesn’t own a mobile phone. Actually he doesn’t really like any phones. The result is any communication is handwritten letters, it’s like a blast from the past.
During one protracted letter exchange, a conversation which would now normally take seconds was played out over almost a full year.
Remember that climbing trip to Glen Coe…
Oh yes, that one…
How on earth did you fall into that stream….
Effects of gravity probably, wow it was smelly, but you found that cowpat to fall into….
That was the biggest cowpat ever, covered head to toe….
That was not produced by a cow, size of that thing, it was a dinosaur….
We looked a right state sitting in that cafe that evening….
We did, but it was a great climb….
Happy Days….
It’s been a while since we have climbed….
It is, life happened….
How long is it now, must be 10 years….
I’ve just checked my photos, I think our last climb was 21 years ago….
It’s the Tropic of Yorkshire. Won’t be many braving those waters…. Actually a few surfers did give it a go. Talking to one of them as he headed out he mentioned having his warmest thermal suit on. That’s progress, I remember the surfers at my childhood seaside town. No thermal suits back then, it was smearing themselves with shedloads of LARD.
Progress is often held up by humans.
Quite a few places around here like football grounds and concert venues are switching to paperless entry systems. Time to get the mobile out of the pocket and use it as a ticket. Surely adding a ticket to the Wallet App and then waving the mobile screen vaguely in the direction of a scanner is something we can cope with.
Sadly not.
I ventured to see my team play football and encountered the stadiums new mobile ticket entrance system. Queues a million miles long. PROGRESS….
After an eternity I had made it to the turnstile and could see closeup that technology was struggling to cope with humans …. Hence the huge queue backlog.
One chap couldn’t seem to grasp the concept that waving the back of the phone and the back of his hand at the scanner isn’t ever going to work….
Then a guy got annoyed as he was refused entry for trying to get into the ground with a paper copy of the ticket. Clearly he didn’t register the meaning of the words on the ticket – ‘Paper copies of the ticket will not be accepted’. Phone left at home….
The next person did bring his mobile but hadn’t realised that he had to download the ticket to his phone. Surely the ticket just magically appears on the phone…
Not going well.
A mother and two children quickly gain entry, the system working seamlessly for them. Renewed belief in PROGRESS.
Then frustratingly it ground to a halt again. The next guy seemed to be doing everything correctly but nothing happened. After several attempts a senior steward arrived and asked what type of phone was he using.
“You what….”
Is it an IPhone or Android.
“I don’t ##@### know, it’s a phone….”
Eventually the Steward gave up trying to explain to the clearly LOST, he grabbed the unnamed phone and magic happened. The system let the man in.
The next person in the queue also failed to get the system to work even though he seemed to be doing exactly what he was instructed to do. When he was asked what type of phone he was using, he confidently responded…
“It’s an iPhone”
Odd that as I could clearly see Samsung emblazoned on his so called apple device.
He finally got the system to recognise him by appearing to hit his phone repeatedly into the scanner.
Finally my turn…. Disdain for the proceeding gross technological incompetence and overconfidence in my own skills.. The System refused my entry….
Well clearly if I try to scan a 2024 concert ticket for a 2023 Football Game, the system isn’t going to like that.
Ok now with the right ticket in the wallet.
Still refused entry and why is music now coming from my mobile. Clearly the entry system isn’t also going to like me accidentally flicking on the Amazon Music app and blasting out Aerosmith.
Finally the green entry light but the turnstile wouldn’t move. Still refused entry. What now.
Well this is my rubbish football team. Yes they have installed this new high tech scanner but it doesn’t operate the turnstile. It just lights up a Big Green Light. A steward then looks out for this big green light and then presses the old manual button to open the turnstile (the same button that has operated the turnstile for years). Well my particular steward had clearly seen far too much incompetence for one day and was now distracted and not looking at the Green Light, he was fumbling about trying to open the biggest of big chocolate bars. When he did notice the light was green, he pressed the button. Still nothing.
“Can you give the turnstile a bit of a kick lad, it gets a stuck.”
“There you go, you can get in now. See cutting edge technology….”
PROGRESS but as Spock would say ITS PROGRESS BUT NOT AS WE KNOW IT JIM.
All I wanted to do was buy two £8 tickets for a walk around a local castle. With covid you now have to pre book the tickets online. All was going well until the message ‘authorisation code sent to mobile’. No message was received. Resend code and once more nothing. Ok, use confirm the payment via the online banking app. AND that failed….Then everything unravelled. Soon I was locked out of my online banking app and my bank card was frozen. Then my online home fuel oil order failed as by card was locked out. I hadn’t realised that my mobile had suddenly gone faulty …. Not accepting messages or calls but at least it still played music (good to see it got its priorities right).
My only option was to phone my bank’s dreaded customer desk. A helpful message told me that my call was important to the bank but there was a 20 minute wait as call volumes were unusually high. Two pigging hours later a voice at the end of the phone. I needed to confirm my identity. Did I know my unique online banking code – NO…. Could I confirm what £19.99 payment was made on my account last Tuesday – NO (as soon as I put the phone down, I remembered, typical)….. Could I remember my online banking password – didn’t know I had one…… Finally, the last option, they would send a security code message to my mobile – but my mobile was stuffed so it never arrived…… Now it’s wait 5 days for a letter to arrive in the post with a code to reset the online banking. Well at least my card was released from purgatory.
Well that went well. I do love the seamless possibilities offered by technology.
So 4 hours later we arrived at a local country house which thankfully still accepted on the door payments. So we did finally get a much needed walk and it was a good one. That was a blessing, no thanks to technology.
Can you believe it. 14 months of school at home. Just over half of that time has happened with most of his classmates back at school. Trying to maintain a remote link with his class was always going to be difficult. It can never be perfect. Especially when the Government’s attitude has been to try and force all children back into classrooms as soon as possible. Schools instructed to make it more difficult for children to work remotely. Schools and parents threatened with legal action if pupils are not back in the class. Our school wanted to offer a remote learning option. Wanted to change the school week with most pupils spending part of the school week, remote learning. Wanted to tailor education and create a better school working environment. Unfortunately that was not allowed so the remote learning option had to be largely turned off. That makes things much harder…..
Revision is supposed to start for the upcoming school year exams this week. No idea how they will work for Hawklad. But the individual subjects are now issuing revision guides. Indicating which pieces of school work have to be revisited and revised. In a couple of subjects there are no surprises – we have covered those areas, undertaken the work required. But then there are other subjects. Areas that the class have undertaken that Hawklad was not aware of. In a couple of subjects clearly large tracts of class work, entire areas have not been shared. Is it ok to call it revision when he’s visiting an area for the very first time.
It’s such a mixed bag. Yes a couple of subjects have exceeded expectations, Hawklad has done the entire teaching requirements. A couple have been kind of as expected, covered most areas but with gaps. And some subjects have gone so much worse than expected, with Hawklad being so far behind his classmates.
Surely in the modern world, with everything that technology has to offer in terms of keeping connected, surely my country should be so much better at remote learning. So much better at EDUCATION.
The mobile phone is leading a charmed life. Yesterday it found its way into the garden refuse bin. Today as I weeded suddenly the little bucket next to me I was filling with weeds started playing music. Never been so thankful for one of those nuisance marketing call.
With the mobile safely back in my pocket. I got back on with the job of weeding.
Then another call. A work call. 60 minutes worth of …… what’s the word I’m looking for. I can think of a few, some I can even safely write down…
Boring
Dragging
Tiring
Fruitless
Frustrating
Dull
Monotonous
Wearisome
Mind-numbing
Soul-destroying
Insipid
Stupefying
After 60 minutes I was so tempted to switch the mobile off and voluntarily drop it back in the garden waste bin. I’m old enough to remember a time before mobile technology AND today I vote for going back to then….
Nothing like a power cut to disrupt the daily schedule. We are in the first part of a storm battering which is due to last for a few days. A small house on an exposed northern hill is wonderful except in a storm. We get an absolute belting. The back door is exposed to the full force of the elements. It floods during normal wind and rain so when a storm hits…… Time to dig out the ark. We are inside with about seven layers on. Living in the sticks when the power goes so does the heating. We do have a small chimney place but it needs serious repair work to make it safe to use. It’s on the when money appears list. So it’s cold without the central heating. As it’s an electric oven, hot food preparation is fraught with problems. So it’s Pot Noddles and Soup for lunch.
The power is back currently. It’s on and off like a Yorkshire Cricket match. Son is on the internet while he can. All the thermos flasks are filled. Every battery item is on charge. The floor behind the back door has been deflooded. Writing this while listening to the wind scream through. So far powers gone off twice in the time it’s taken to write these two paragraphs.
To someone with Aspergers all this can be an absolute nightmare. The break in routine, the uncertainty and the unpredictability. Sunday is such an important day as it’s the transition to the school week. A day which hopefully smooths the bumps from that unpleasant ride. For that to work then the safe and well tried Sunday ritual needs to be followed. On days like this all that goes out of the window and is currently being blasted towards Norway. Yes Son is on the internet but he’s severely on edge. Pacing the room. Senses on overdrive.
I’ve sent school an email to warn them but deep down I know it won’t be acted upon. That’s modern secondary schooling in this area. His last school (admittedly much smaller) would certainly have at the very least kept an eye on him. Even rescheduled the teaching plan. Not at his current school.
When the power is down it makes you realise who reliant we have become on technology. Yes it’s progress but it’s such a fragile progress. Pull the power and quickly it’s gone. For me I can fall back on my books as my safe option. Unfortunately for someone with dyslexia that safety net is not available. He needs technology to read them. His Dad can try but quickly my lingering cold kicks in and reading out loud becomes a cough fest. We can’t play ball sports outside due to the storm. The trampoline is filled to brimming with every heavy object I can find. Thankfully we still have other old school options. Card games. Top Trumps. Lego and one of the best cheap presents ever. A little battery operated air hockey game which cost less than a bag of chips. Endless fun until the batteries run out or the fingers finally break.
So hopefully the power will now stay on so we can try to have part of Sunday as normal as possible. Hopefully Son’s anxiety levels will recede a little. Sadly I think there is as much chance of that happing as there is of his Dads getting a Michelin Star. Don’t you just love a storm.
A Dad trying to cope with the loss of his Partner and becoming a single parent. 