Maybe I was in a selfish mood today, but I was trying to think of the last time someone asked how I was doing.  It’s got to be at least a month ago, maybe longer.

Is it because I’m hiding things so well?  Even during the really dark periods I try to smile when I meet people.  Sometimes I smile because it seems like the right thing to do.  Mainly I smile because I don’t want people to raise questions about “If I can cope being a single parent”.

Then I think is it because when people first started asking how I was, I would reply “I’m ok today” and then switch to talking about how my son was.  Then after a couple of months I made the decision to be slightly more open.  So when I got asked the question I was more honest and more likely to respond “Not so good today” or “A bit down today” or ‘Struggling”.  It just felt that people felt uncomfortable with that honest response.  They would change the subject quickly.  Maybe it’s unrelated but the enquiries about how I was doing started to dry up as soon as I was more honest.

Maybe I should get a t-shirt printed saying “I’m Ok today” and let’s see if people start asking again…..

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