Everybody has got to find their own way of dealing with loss.  We initially tried to establish a memory box.  Regularly we would try to write down memories from the great times before the world changed.  We would then keep them in a safe place, the memory box.  I know this has worked for some children who have lost a loved one.  It just didn’t work for us.

My son came up with the idea of just talking to his mum each day.  So we both set aside a few minutes a day, find a quiet place and just tell our lost one what we’ve done today.  It’s been important to my son as it helps him make sure his mum is not forgotten.

For the last few weeks during my ‘daily chats’ with my lost love I’ve been wrestling with a decision.  My son wants a portion of the ashes to be placed in our garden, but where? 

Yesterday ‘we’ came to a decision.  A patch would be cleared under our small apple tree and my partners favourite flower (Forget Me Nots) seeded.  This would be the perfect ashes spot.  

After a couple of hours work the site was ready for the ashes.  Unfortunately we had not shared the plan with the puppy.  Two minutes later we had a very muddy dog who had now found a great new place to bury his toy bone. All I could think about was the look my partner would be giving me, especially if I had got round to scattering the ashes.

The best laid plans…..

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