A wall which needs to be crossed, damp moss and a spare pair of trainers with hardly any tread left. That my friends is a recipe for disaster. Today’s woodland trail run was blocked by a tree felling operation. Either that or Yorkshire is clearly the location for Texas Chainsaw Massacre 25. The deafening roar of multiple chainsaws close by. For what ever reason the trail was taped off. So two options. Turn back or cross the wall. An attractive downhill path swung the decision in favour of the green wall. Twenty seconds later I’m lying face first in a muddy puddle. Forty minutes later I am stood semi naked in front of the washing machine trying to work out how much Vanish I need to add for caked mud clothes. Two hours later a fully clothed Neanderthal is now surveying the wonderful job Vanish had done to my running kit. My once blue leggings are now a mottled light blue psychedelic design. The dark blue leggings colouring had now jumped ship and transformed my once white running top. But the muds gone. That Vanish is good stuff.

For that time when the runner has gone thud

And his clothes are covered in filthy mud

When soap and water won’t do the job

And that runner doesn’t want to look a slob

In need of rescue after that mossy wall

Which hero are you going to call?

With just 5 scoops your colours will banish

But that mud will be gone thanks to VANISH.

I was lost for an idea for the returning Chelsea Owens Terrible Poetry contest. But thanks to chainsaw wielding lunatics and a mossy wall a terrible poem was born.

If you fancy a go then this weeks rules are

  1. Let’s start off with a fun Topic: commercial jingles. Pick a product and *wow* us with an awful little diddy.
  2. Most commercials have a short runtime, so keep theLength fairly short as well.
  3. Do you need to Rhyme? No, but catchy tales bring in more sales.
  4. Look, chum: just Make it terrible. Make your audience sit up, take notice, and frantically push the Mute button until the horror passes.
  5. This needs to be appropriate for General Audiences. Write accordingly.

You have till 8:00 a.m. MST next Friday (January 10, 2020) to submit a poem to Chelsea’s site.

One final irony. Vanish normally comes in bright pink containers. I went on Amazon to see if I could find a cheap pair of running leggings. One pair stood out. Unbelievably cheap. And the colour. Bright Pink. Yorkshire you have been warned…..

44 thoughts on “Vanish”

  1. I like your little jingle, haha. Sorry about the mud and the transformation of colors in the wash. I do hope you post a picture of the pink running leggings when you get them 🙂

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      3. I slacked off a bit over the holidays and I’m coming back slowly. I’ve had a nagging IT band so I’ve been trying to heal it before I run too much. Maybe I will post my IT band exercise routine… Thanks for the nudge

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  6. You are really terrible at being terrible. Your jingle is quite good.

    I’m glad you got a run in. Just remember that white Vanish is ONLY for white(ish) clothes! It’s okay to experiment with your own clothing (woot woot! Pink leggings) but I think son might be a tad bit upset if his clothing undergoes a similar experiment.😱😂🤣
    💌

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  11. Pingback: WINNER of the Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest | Chelsea Ann Owens

  15. Hehe. I like your poem. I’ve been browsing your site a bit. I was actually looking for poets to follow but the words “terrible poetry” caught my eye. All of your pics throughout your posts are wonderful. I love the mossy one in this post, and the one with the hot air balloon is very nice too. You got close enough to it. I like it just as it is. I’m sorry for your loss. 😐

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