That’s a proper sign post, although I’m not sure how feasible it is to walk to Canada or The US from this part of the world.

Most of the support had already started to be pulled from Hawklad when he approached his teen years, that’s how it goes in the UK. Now at 17 the inevitable letter arrived. At 18 he will be signed off from the last service still providing support to him and his care will be handed over to Adult mental health care. In other words, the day he hits 18 any support he may need will need to come in the form of self help, or from family, friends, internet, leaflets and a few overstretched voluntary groups. NOT from health professionals.

As a Paediatrician cautioned me when Hawklad first started receiving support

Some support and help could be required for life. The level of support required may diminish over time, sometimes no support is required but often the level of support can grow as people try to forge their own adult life. But when someone reaches 18, we stop asking as a society, in fact we stop providing the support almost completely. Child Mental Health will inevitably hand over virtually every child under its care to an adult service that doesn’t exist in the UK. After that if someone picks up the courage to go to see a doctor, in most cases that doctor will have little real understanding of areas such as autism and will probably just want to put a plaster over any problems in the form of Anti Depressants.

As adulthood fast approaches for Hawklad, I keep increasingly focusing on the immediate future, the next stages. Trying to develop that independence yet worrying about where he can turn to if he ever needs support. It’s a sobering thought sometimes.

49 thoughts on “18”

  3. Prayers for both you and Hawklad. ❤️❤️ He has an enormous amount of support in you, and he will have endless support in God. Keep giving his needs to God. He can supply what James will need for the future, despite that great big lack of help from the health care system. I know it’s worrying, wondering where Hawklad can turn to, but even this seemingly insurmountable reality isn’t too big for God.

    “”I am the Lord, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?”” – Jeremiah 32:27.

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  4. I get lost in my own hometown, don’t think I will try to follow those signs and walk ….
    Know that you and Hawklad have my continued support and many prayers! So sorry that the healthcare system has failed Hawklad, but he is soo blessed to have a Father that won’t fail him. Don’t ever let yourself feel like a failure because of not being able to fix things. We as parents can only do so much and I know you have been and always will be there for Hawklad. (((HUGS))) God has you both in the palm of his hand! ❤

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  6. Do you know of a book called Made for Good Purpose What Every Parent Needs to Know to Help Their Adolescent with Asperger’s, High Functioning Autism or a Learning Difference Become an Independent Adult By Michael P. McManmon?He also has a Job Readiness Workbook Career Skills Development for Young Adults on the Autism Spectrum.

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  7. We try to be advocates for our children in every way possible and find our efforts are stymied by a failing system. This is wrong on so many levels. I pray you be diligent in searching for answers; they are out there. Blessings on you and Hawklad.

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  8. The concept of immediate adulthood after 18 always surprised me. Just in day a person can stop receive any attention from specialists and get much more responsibility in the society. But not much changes in the person when they turn 18

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  10. At least you are aware of the problems and coping mechanisms, but no-one’s pretending it’s easy. So many areas of mental health were unknown 20 years ago- or perhaps I was just very ignorant. I hope you can find help when it’s needed.

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  11. I’m praying that he’ll be really happy, safe and fulfilled in the days ahead and that he’ll discover new talents, skills, friends and a previously undiscovered support system. I totally understand how you must worry about the future.

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  12. Locals in the countryside in West Wales have a game, it’s them turning the signposts around to confuse the tourists and those that might venture from their village to the next one. Thankfully I’ve lived here in West Wales long enough now, to laugh at their stupidity antics. I know the right directions most times and ask those that know if now. Also on days off especially, I have the attitude that sometimes who doesn’t like to get lost in the magic of the countryside, to find somewhere amazing and new to us, like finding a secret garden of Eden or relax and take in a view?
    As for the future of our children: Worry is a thief of great potential. Seek out the potential, but show them how to make their choices.
    Have you joined:
    https://www.autism.org.uk
    Also, I think it would be kindness on Swiss Sunday, to put some hope out for the three people missing after a landslide in Lostallo, in Misox in the canton of Graubunden, Switzerland.

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  14. I’m so sorry, Gary. It is infuriating that it has to be this way in the UK – naive and blind enough to think that needs someone disappear at the stroke of midnight. I wish it was different for you and Hawklad.

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  16. It seems Child Mental Health has not exactly been much so will things be that different? I can only imagine the concern you feel. It should not be so hard.

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  17. Even though you are both approaching the crucial time for a major transition, I hope and pray that all you have done and accomplished so far for Hawklad will be a good foundantion to carry through to the next phase. Signs pointing to other exotic places are there to remind us that it is a big world out there with endless possibilities.

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  21. Sobering indeed. This is precisely what I fear for Biff. Because Bash has lashed out more at people, people have approved extra support for him and his needs are…”obvious,” I guess? But because Biff is so mellow, it’s like it’s okay to write him off and I HATE IT. And as you say, adulthood approaches. All we can do is prepare them as best we can and be there for them as best we can.

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