A late evening walk on the Moors.
Three….
Hawklad now has three support sessions left then he’s discharged from Child & Adolescent Mental Health Services. He’s discharged because at the age of 18 there is no equivalent Adult service to be handed over to. There is some voluntary charity provision but it is very patchy.
Research has repeatedly highlighted the implications that can flow from the removal of dedicated mental health support as soon as someone reaches the age of 18
– Increased risk of Isolation and loneliness
– Escalation in untreated/undiagnosed mental health conditions
– Increased risk of depression and self harm
– Life opportunity limitations
– Increased risk of unemployment and employment insecurity
Even for under 18’s, services are stretched and far too many children don’t get the support they need.
From the age of 18 any formal support has to accessed via the Doctor Lottery system. Post Covid, in many areas patients have to try to navigate the appointments labyrinthine. Join a telephone queue at 8am and wait in line to be answered, a few minutes late and all the appointments for the day will be booked solid. If slots are still available you then first have to explain the symptoms to the Doctor Receptionist who then decides if you can have a face to face GP appointment or more likely a telephone call back. Way too frequently you are either told to try again tomorrow for an appointment or to try to self treat. If you do get a precious appointment or callback, you have at most about 5 minutes with a Doctor. In our surgery it is quite rare to get your own GP, often speaking to someone who is looking at your records for the first time. It feels very rushed and pressurised. Then you’re faced with a Doctor who is unwilling or unable to refer you to a specialist mental health service. As one Consultant told me,
Many Doctors just don’t fully understand specialist Mental Health areas. They are stretched and sadly they often try to treat anything that might look like Autism or ADHD with Antidepressants and a leaflet on Mindfulness.
This whole process ain’t going to work for Hawklad, he isn’t going to go through this process to get any support that he might need in the future. Family support is going to be even more important for him in the future. But then again, he doesn’t exactly have many trained mental health care professionals in the family…. That’s such a worry going forward.
A Dad trying to cope with the loss of his Partner and becoming a single parent. 
This is indeed a very difficult situation for you both. Can’t you hire a private therapist?
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I don’t know about England but from what I gather Autism has greatly increased in this country over the past decade yet medical services of all kinds are becoming harder to access. Here it’s because medicine has been turned into big business and doctors are finding the demands of the conglomerates to be at odds with good practices, so they are jumping ship. The words “doctor” and “lottery” ought not to be in the same sentence. I can only imagine your frustration and anxiety. But Hawklad has the most supportive dad. Look how you got him through Covid. I wish you both the best. You so deserve it.
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Oh, my heart and head hurts for you and Hawklad. The support system is broken and overwhelmed and it truly is unjust and unfair for him and you and others in this same situation.
Sadje above noted if private services are an option. I realize they cost funds, but I wonder if that’s an option, perhaps covered through work?
I’m sorry it’s so hard Gary. But I know you are doing everything you can to support Hawklad and it shows. Hope you are able to get some time for your own care too. 🙏
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Thinking of you at this time. It’s a shocking reality that the whole area of mental health is so neglected in most countries. I know how apprehensive you must be, as your son is about to turn “18” – as if that was some magical turning point. I’m just praying something really good and unexpected will transpire for him, going forward.
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Gary, it is time — given a new government — you and others, persons with disabilities or parents, guardians, etc — start joining together and making a big PUBLIC fuss about this. Embarass the government if you have to, and if you can. People’s lives and livelihoods are at stake here.
I’m thinking before the Tories got in there used to be better services. Demand they be returned to the people who need them. But do it publicly.
There must be a number of affected people reading your blog. Organize them. And then give the government Hell!
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Or, as I said before, move to Canada.
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You are probably the best support he has ever had. I hope you will find a way between you
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I have to agree with Derrick. Raising hell about the state of things takes time and energy that you’d probably rather spend on your son. Maybe you will find a way together. I hope so.
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So very much hope that things can go well somewhere. Crossing fingers and toes.
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Fortunately, he has you.
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I appreciate you sharing the challenges you and Hawklad are facing, which no one could fully understand unless going through the same thing. 😔 Your photos are sublime.
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Warning: waffle alert!
The training is generic and you’ve put in more hours than a professional ever could to know Hawklad. You’ll know more about him than they ever could and found ways to go through loads of stuff already. Still, we all have different perspectives on things, ideas, ways of doing things that might have worked. These days loads of stuff can be found online, groups, self help. Yeah, groups are a good idea.
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I cannot believe that the health system is acting so sick. I mean, there is a person who needs help, and others decide whether he is suffering enough or not yet. They will have more queues because of all the ingored pateints who then need even more care. I don’t get it that a health system differst between children and adults. Are they free of any problems as sson as they are turning 18? The politics should finally realize that they are in charge of the people. I
Hawklad is so lucky with a dad like you because you care. By all the injustice in the system he has at least someone who understands and supports him. I hope with all my heart that you both get the support you need!
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I’m so sorry to hear about your woes. Mental health services in our area are very slowly getting better, but services in general for those over 18 who might need a little help living independently and working but who don’t quality as “disabled” doesn’t exist. I have faith that with you in his life, Hawklad will be ok. One day at a time. (Look into those charities if you haven’t already and get on any and all wait lists).
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How about a private therapist. Not an east time but I know you will do whatever you need to do to keep him doing well. Hugs to you both❤️
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The moors are beautiful. I’m wondering what Hawklad’s current support workers suggest or recommend. I’ll be hoping and praying for you and Hawklad to get the support you need.
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that must be a huge worry Garry, I’m so sorry the mental health system over there doesn’t stretch to adults, I mean it seems rather stupid, to turf Hawklad out just because he is 18 now. I would’ve thought they’d at least transfer him to adult mental health services. X
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