Now that’s a proper tree house…
You just never know.
There is a chap in the village. Seems a really happy chap, enjoying retired life. Always pleasant, probably smiles more than me. Easy to talk to. Seems to have plenty of friends in the village and always visiting. He walks with a stick, doesn’t walk too far but manages to spend a lot of time with his wife in their perfect, beautiful garden. They seem so relaxed.
This week I found out that he is really struggling with depression, has been for a couple of years now. He is deeply unhappy with retired life. Deteriorating Mobility issues forced him to give up his much loved job. He is unable to take part in his favourite hobbies now, golf, cycling, hillwalking, ballroom dancing, tennis. He feels like he has to spend far too much time in the garden these days. Even their holidays have changed. Once active, exploring filled adventures are now quite limited, quiet, sitting by a pool, in a cafe or on a patio holidays, plenty of time to read. The type of holiday they both always wanted to avoid.
I had no idea.
You just never know.
A Dad trying to cope with the loss of his Partner and becoming a single parent. 
No. You never know.
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we don’t do we
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Superdad…. don’t gossip about the neighbors. 😮 🤣😂🤣😂🤣
That’s a sad tale. 🫤🙁
Old age comes to us all. So does change. Depression can most definitely be a side effect of loss and/or diminished capacity. Hopefully he can find some peace in the change. Some contentment in the simpler things. Some thankfulness in things he still does have. It’s never easy growing old…. 🫤 I will say some prayers for the chap. 🙏
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that’s right, I shouldn’t
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You never know. So many suffer silently.
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it’s still such a taboo subject in the UK.
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I’m not so much depressed as frustrated, but I know how he feels. I used to walk or bike everywhere, and I thought I always would. Now I’m lucky if I can climb the stairs in the morning, and by the time I get to the kitchen I am out of breath. Where did all my energy go? It’s not just my muscles getting weak, but my joints are mostly bone-on-bone. I still have a high pain threshold so I can ignore the pain. Stuck sitting at home is the part I can’t take.
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slightly worrying, a saw a yoga instructor who has many classes around here, today struggling to get out of her car. It comes to us all…
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Unfortunately.
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I used to work with someone like that. Life and soul of the party. Always cheerful and smiling. On the other hand when I’m “down” everybody knows about it… which is maybe psychologically more healthy. I later discovered that his days off work were because of severe depression, although he was young and appeared in good health physically. It’s true that you never know…
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So much pain out there
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“You just never know.” That’s so, so true.
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🙏
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So very true
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sadly true
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Well, who knows what will happen in the future. Best not to think too much.
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I think that’s right
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You can never know what goes on in someone else’s mind and many are very good at putting on a brave face. It’s too bad about this chap. Life often deprives us of what we love and it is natural to become depressed. I think we need to adjust and seek pleasure in different ways, grateful for what we were once able to do, but it is not easy.
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it can too easily become about the dark with no light
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This is so very true. It can be hard when we’re dealing with our own stuff but it’s so important to remember you don’t know what other people are going through.
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made me think about if I too often walk around with my head down, not noticing those around me enough
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That is a very touching post. We never know what burdens our fellow acquaintances may bear. And yes, that treehouse is awesome!!
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Just wish we could all feel able to open up just a bit more
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Sounds like something out of the “Tales of the unexpected” or something similar like the “Twilight Zone”.
Anyways, I recall one episode of whatever it was, where two couples are in the same place, but that it is perceived as heaven to one couple, but hell to t’other. Adventure holiday might be the bees knees for some and not a holiday at all for others, then again, some never have a holiday at all.
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I miss that show, it was so much fun
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You never know, the tree house might become available on Airbnb as an adventure destination?
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more likely it’s put on sale as a farm barn conversion opportunity
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Any pocket of land in some places are snapped up. I know of someone who has been asked many times to sell their walled garden in Duston, Northampton. Their place is a right old miss-match of two tiny one up, one down thatched cottages and an extension their Dad made out of a barn. Three staircases though, sounds right posh, but it seriously ain’t.
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Sometimes you do think a person has it all together but they don’t. Sadly so many suffer in silence. In later years once mobility deteriorates, it is really hard to regain it. Hope this gentleman will be okay. 🙏
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I remember when I was really low, I was probably really good at hiding it.
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One day when I was really low, I literally went into hiding. I remember that as as I heard the postie’s van approach up the drive, I went into panic mode. I ducked down, hid in the cupboard under the sink and stayed very, very still and totally silent. The postie delivered the post to the kitchen table, as was the countryside way in Twatt (and yes that is a place in Orkney).
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It creeps up on you. Suddenly you realise you haven’t left the house for days, the car hasn’t been started for weeks . . . fortunately I like sitting at my computer writing. But it isn’t how I had envisaged ending up.
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with me I noticed it first when I realised I was just not getting out of the house, not wasting to get out.
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It’s strange how it becomes part of your life without you noticing. From the replies it looks like we aren’t the only ones.
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I hate getting old. I guess there’s good company in feeling that way since it’s everyone’s least favorite thing!
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it’s a shared delight
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He’s grieving for what he has lost. Poor guy. The world that was once big and endless has closed in, and that’s he can see. I pray that in time, the tears will dry a little and when he looks up and out, he’ll see that he’s still a great guy and that there joys now hidden which are waiting for him.
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just can’t find replacements for what he’s lost.
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It happens a great deal. Can he take up an unusual hobby, such as bird watching? Being outdoors gives one a unique perspective of the world’s beauty. If so, I highly recommend bird books with good reviews. I pulled a quick search and there are several high quality publishers.
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I think he’s trying, just nothing yet has worked for him.
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Nope. You really don’t do you? It is amazing what you can learn, about someone, who you thought was so perfect in every way!
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we don’t do we
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You really don’t! My grandfather was the same. He loved building and fixing things, but moving into a retirement apartment nixed a lot of that. Card games with neighbors can be nice and all, but that’s not the same.
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it’s not the same is it xxxxxx
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Life is hard sadly you never know….
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it really is
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😞
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