Literally

Children on the autistic spectrum can often take words literally. Now most of this can be put down to the confusing nature of language. Why do we make it so difficult. Often English doesn’t even seem like my second language. It did take me three attempts to pass my English exam.

It is something we noticed with our son at an early age. I can clearly remember one time when naughty dad had eaten all the smarties. When our son quizzed the suspect I remember saying

“Must have been the dinosaur in the kitchen”

Five minutes later our son is ransacking the kitchen in a desperate dinosaur hunt.

Another time I remember saying “and Pigs might Fly”. A few weeks later at nursery our son began telling the other kids that pigs could fly. And given a lot of the kids realised how much he knew about animals – they all started believing it to. So if you ever hear someone like Coyote Peterson or Chris Packham talking about flying pigs on their nature shows – then you probably know who to blame. Sorry

We had to become more careful in what we said. We tried to make sure if a joke was told or any colloquial language used that we immediately pointed what had been done and why. Explaining that words can have different meanings. We also tried to stress the importance of not only hearing the words but also trying to listen for how things have been said. We worked on his body language recognition skills. One game which helped was watching the TV with the volume turned off and trying to guess which people were happy or sad or angry or being serious.

To this day he still quite often takes words literally. It’s a worry going forward into senior school. But he is learning. He now frequently asks “is that real” or “is that true” to try and confirm meaning and last week….. He was using my iPad in another room. He kept shouting that it wasn’t working properly. Me being a lazy sod I was trying to shout instructions back rather than going to look at it. After several minutes he shouted that it was still not working. Without thinking I replied “just flush it down the toilet”. Few seconds later the toilet flushed. I have never ran so fast. Fortunately I found a laughing son saying “got you there dad”. Happy Days….

Bridges

Sunday seems such a long time ago. I just love the quayside area of Newcastle. Yes it’s built up. Some of the architecture is 18th century housing modern wine bars, restaurants, fast food joints and pubs. But it just seems to work and dovetail together.

But the highlight for me are the bridges over the River Tyne. All so different and just stunning.

Too often people look towards the famous Tyne Bridge and forget to look in the other direction.

Son was really brave and made it into the football stadium. He enjoyed the full Mr Men display from his dad. He even got animated with the pompous and bumbling referee (without prompting). For anyone who follows English Football – Mike Dean is infamous. Yes it ended up with my team losing again but that misses the point. It was one of those days where our son ventured into a world which is not his and rather enjoyed it.

Monday Monday Monday

Monday finishes off with a visit from Santa. It’s about the only event the village has. Raising money for charity. Raising smiles with children. Sorry for the poor photo.

However we never get a dull day.

Nice dog walk completed. Return of the strange yellow thing. Coffee made. Laptop opened. Work commenced. PHONE RINGS.

As Captain Jack Sparrow would say – “Bugger”

So ten minutes after opening the laptop I’m on the way to meet our son at the hospital. Accident at school and a hurt hand. Few x-rays and it’s a visit to the fracture clinic tomorrow.

Back home for some needed TLC for our son. Work day has turned into a marathon movie day. Can we get through the complete Pirates of the Caribbean series in one day. It’s odd watching the movies having now seen Johnny Depp live – playing guitar.

Lord knows when I’m going to get some work done. Maybe a few all night sessions. But in the scheme of things it doesn’t really matter. Now back to Captain Jack and the third movie.

Call from school

Friday was going to be a big work day. After that video Thursday was a write off. Friday was positive, Friday was going to be a big work catchup day. So taking no risks with unexpected grief reminders – a carefully selected range of cds was lined up. Work started.

Then the phone rings. The phone call parents dread from school:

“I’m sorry your son is not so good at the moment can you come and pick him up”

As a couple you then have that urgent exchange of calls or texts to decide who is best placed to pick up. Unfortunately as a single parent all you can do is sigh, switch off the laptop and head to school. Monday is now ‘manic work Monday”.

Luckily it was nothing too lasting. Anxiety leading to an upset stomach which is quickly remedied by Tomato Soup and the prospect of the weekend. We often forget how stressful school can be for kids. Added to that – Autism and schools are not natural bed fellows.

Schools often forget that they don’t really do that much to relieve this anxiety. I haven’t forgotten that national budget cuts restricts what schools can do. But surely progress can be made. Large parts of the school are quite old and pretty grim. Without doubt the grimmest location tend to be the toilets. They are awful. Dark, smelly, completely unwelcoming. His last School’s facilities were awful and as a result many of the kids refused to use them. According to our son he only used them once in 5 years. At his new School the toilets are equally Victorian. With the added ingredient that they are poorly monitored and are a hive of bullying.

IS THIS NOT 2018….

OR IS IT A PINK FLOYD VIDEO

30-Day Song Challenge

The 30 day song challenge seems to continue to grow. I think Yorkshire is probably unrepresented so we had better throw our cloth hats in.

Day 1

A song you like with a colour in the title.

http://youtu.be/QBG2Fpg1x-Q

Start of with a belter from Pinky and Perky singing Yellow Submarine. Son who is co-producing this post is horror stricken by this choice.

Day 2

A song you like with a number in the title.

http://youtu.be/9qbRHY1l0vc

After the last belter our son has grabbed this one. Gone for the mighty Iron Maiden with Two Minutes to Midnight.

Day 3

A song that reminds you of summertime.

http://youtu.be/rBb5y8IHAtE

Andy Williams – Music to Watch the Girls Go By. One of my mums favourites. Always think of sitting in the garden listening to this on hot summer days as a kid. Son thinks it’s kinda cool.

Day 4

A song that reminds you of someone you rather forget.

http://youtu.be/co6WMzDOh1o

Soon as our son heard the question he knew that person I won’t to forget. Bono. Don’t really care which U2 song it is…..

Day 5

A song that needs to be played loud

http://youtu.be/1iwC2QljLn4

The first song we completely agree on. Both said the same song at the same time. Had to be Motörhead – The Ace of Spades. Managed to see Lemmy and the gang many years ago, still waiting for the ears to stop ringing.

Day 6

A song that makes you want to dance.

http://youtu.be/CH1XGdu-hzQ

Son’s choice apparently this is called Gangnam Style. It’s is rather cool.

Day 7

A song to drive to.

http://youtu.be/vHVQI98C-qY

Black Stone Cherry – Like I Roll. A great driving song and one our son concurs with.

Today

DEEP BREATHS – MOVE ON

Grief is a double edged sword. Yesterday felt like repeated thrusts to the heart. Focusing on what has been lost. That ‘why did it happen to me’ feeling. Everything reminded me of the loss. That video. Sad songs. Radio advertising – anything from where to go for your romantic Christmas meal to the perfect present for your loved one. Her favourite painting. Her favourite cat. That empty bed.

The walk, the wet walk did help a bit. It did help me get focused and ready for our son.

Today I’ve experienced the other side of the grief sword. The positive side. Now the focus is on how privileged I am. Even someone like me was able to experience 16 golden years. Romance. So many happy memories. A beautiful, perfect son. Grief is really everlasting love. That is something which can’t be lost.

Ops broken it

Probably because I’ve been hitting the keys too hard but for some reason I’m not getting any notification emails from the blog. So I’m not getting any prompts about what everyone is doing. Just seemed to have completely stopped and my email system hasn’t moved them into the junk folder. Looking at the possible solutions the last one is to unfollow everyone then start refollowing. So if you see me unfollow you it’s nothing you have done – it’s down to my ineptness and I will refollow.

Moon Lander

If there was ever a competition for the most inept computer gamer on the planet – then get all your money on me. I am beyond useless. My latest gaming disaster involves trying to land a command module onto the moon. When you look up at the moon tonight just remember most of those craters you can see are down to me.

Pressure was on, son looking over my shoulder. Looking good then panic and yet another smoking crater formed.

“Dad I’ve found the perfect job for you. NASA have started crashing space crafts into the surface of planets. Cassini was smashed into Saturn. You would be the perfect remote pilot. You would never fail.”

“Having said that you would probably hit Saturn that hard you would probably knock it out of its orbit”

AGAIN MY SHAME IS COMPLETE

Testing times

Our son’s school tests kids every couple of months (most schools do the same). Speaking with some of the other parents – most of the kids are getting stressed out over them. Maybe I’m old fashioned but these kids aren’t even teenagers yet.

My frustration is not only with the amount of testing, it’s with what is being tested. We currently focus on such a limited range of skills and are so inflexible on how the tests are operated. Not all kids are suited to the current testing environment.

I was talking to one parent whose child has really struggled to reach the set expected performance levels. However this child is brilliant. I’ve seen her paintings and cartoon sketches. Unfortunately we don’t have a test environment which allows her to demonstrate this brilliance. No government targets for painting.

Our son astounds me with his knowledge and understanding of history. He is scheduled to do a school test which is about the Battle of Hastings. He has a forensic knowledge in the area. Last night he spent two minutes explaining details of Bishop Odo who took part in the battle. The night before he explained in detail what William did after victory including how he persecuted the north. So if we could design a test environment so he could just talk for 30 minutes about the battle and then verbally answer detailed questions – then he could demonstrate his brilliance.

Problem is the test is to write a one page essay on the battle. Without help then he has no chance. Even with help he won’t be able to shine. This can’t be right. No government targets for developing autistic kids with dyslexia.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE CAN WE GIVE ALL KIDS THE CHANCE TO SHINE

I always thought I was pretty good on history. I tried to show this off to our son.

“William the Conqueror brought his army to the field in October 1066”

My so called knowledge was shot down in one line…

“Dad it was the 14th and he was not at that stage William the Conqueror. He was called William Duke of Normanby or sometimes William the Bastard because his mum was unmarried. The Conqueror was first referred to in around 1120, sorry I can’t be more precise”.

The Eye and Questions

How can putting eye cream onto your eye be so difficult. It’s been a nightmare over the last few days. Yes a few drops have found their way somewhere near the target an boy does it sting…… However the majority have hit the floor, gone up my nose, on my face, into my hair, onto my clothes. This morning was no different. As I contorted on the floor randomly firing eye drops everywhere I heard our son say between the laughter.

“You are disproving everything about natural selection and evolution. Millions of years of evolution and the humans have come to this”

At least it took his mind off the nightmare which is school.

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DaisyMae has tagged me to answer some questions. It’s been a bit of a chain to get to me. Please pay attention I might be testing you on this later.

DaisyMae was tagged by Crushed Caramel to participate in answering some questions.

Caramel was tagged by Kristian 

Kristian was tagged by Teresa aka The Haunted Wordsmith who was the creator of this question challenge. Have a look at Teresa’s original post to find out what she had in mind:

https://thehauntedwordsmith.wordpress.com/2018/11/18/q-a-a-little-weekend-fun/ 

Directions

  1. Answer the questions you receive (straight, funny, absurd, up to you)
  2. Add three more questions of your own to the list
  3. Tag three people

Teresa’s Questions:

WHAT WOULD KLAATU (THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL) THINK OF EARTH IF HE LANDED TODAY?

Assuming this is something like Keanu Reeves movie and also the 1950s movie. If he landed in Yorkshire today I guess he would have moaned about the weather.

IF BOOKS’ CHARACTERS WERE NOT IMPRISONED BY THEIR COVERS, WHICH TWO CHARACTERS WOULD MAKE A GREAT COUPLE?

Batman and Superman – what could possibly go wrong.

FOR US FOLKS: TURKEY, HAM, OR SOMETHING ELSE ON THANKSGIVING? FOR INT’L FOLKS: WHAT IS ONE FOOD YOU RECOMMEND MOST FROM YOUR COUNTRY?

Yorkshire Puddings.

Kristian”s Questions:

IS THERE A FICTIONAL WORLD THAT YOU ACTUALLY WISHED EXISTED?

Teletubby Land

WHAT SONG ALWAYS MAKES YOU SMILE?

Pinky and Perkies – Those magnificent men in their flying machines. (This one is very very very old).

HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS IN THE MORNING?

Without Salmonella. Sorry my sore eye is making me even more grumpy than usual. Definitely fried on potato waffles.

Crushed Caramel Questions:

WHEN YOU WENT TO THE PLAY-PARK AS A CHILD, DID YOU HAVE A FAVOURITE APPARATUS? (EG THE SWINGS, SEE-SAW, SLIDES, CLIMBING FRAME)

Had to be swings which allowed us to play that fine sport – welly wanging. Suspect that has not made the Olympics yet.

IF I WERE TO SEND YOU A BOUQUET OF FLOWERS – WHAT KIND OF FLOWERS WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE IN IT?

Would be just happy to get some flowers. So any.

WHEN YOU HAVE A COLD, HOW SO YOU TREAT IT? DO YOU DOSE YOURSELF UP WITH ITEMS YOU HAVE BOUGHT FROM THE PHARMACY OR DO YOU HAVE ANY HOME REMEDIES YOU RELY ON? IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE YOU DO TO TRY TO CHEER YOURSELF UP WHILE YOU ARE ILL?

I find being grumpy helps.

DaisyMae Questions:

What is one tv show you watch where if anyone knew they would be amazed/surprised/confused? A guilty pleasure.

The Goodies (another very very old show)

What word do you hate to hear the most?

pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosisno idea what it is but being that big a word – it can’t be good.

If you could chose any character from a book to have as a romantic partner who would it be?

Clarice Starling

My Questions

If the world needed a hero, who would you call?

Worst movie ever seen?

Have you ever been to Yorkshire?

I’m opening this up to anybody who fancies a crack at these questions.