Son has always had a healthy appetite, but unlike his dad it doesn’t seem to impact on his body shape. At his last school (with less than 50 kids) lunch was very relaxed, with room to spread out and time for him to have several helpings.

At his new school meaningful intel about the practicalities of the school day has dried up. No feed back from school and a son who often wants to quickly forget about the traumas of the day. So I had no idea how lunchtime was going. I payed the school meal bill online and assumed a balanced diet was being consumed. He never complained about it so it must be ok – that’s my 479th bad parenting example, complacency. I did notice that he had a remarkable appetite on his return. Often eating me out of house and home.

This week as I paid the online meal system I noticed by chance an option to view what the menu was. Reassuringly it looked pretty good. Then I noticed another well hidden option which was tomview what he had actually selected. The selection was very enlightening…


5th Sept – Pasta Main Meal

6th Sept – Macaroni Cheese (very surprising as he hates this)

7th Sept – Flapjacks x2 (sweet granola bar)

After that every day has been Flapjacks x2 apart from 2 days which showed up as a Tuna Sandwich.


By my calculations that’s 184 Flapjacks since September. Bugger – that’s my 480th bad parenting example, must stop swearing.

So it was time to have a more in-depth fact finding chat with our Son. Apparently on the first two days only his year group was in school. It was fairly quiet and he enjoyed his pasta dish. On the second day he thought the sign said pasta meal and was a bit miffed when he found macaroni cheese on his plate. After those two quiet days school lunch has become a nightmare. Too many kids, too little space and limited time. For a main meal you have to queue up for about 20 minutes. After that you need to circle round the dining area waiting for a space to become free. A bit of a nightmare for anyone, a lot of a nightmare for someone with Aspergers. To jump the queue you can opt for either a Sandwich or Flapjack or icebun. Queue jumping it was then for our son. I was puzzled why he broke his sequence of Flapjacks heaven with two Tuna Sandwiches (especially as he doesn’t really like bread). Apparently they had sold out of Flapjacks….

I have now spoken to school but they can do little, just too many kids to feed. I suggested staggering the lunch starts but apparently this cannot be done logistically. Really!!. They will however think about some dyslexic friendly food signage.

So I’m not sure where this leaves us. Packed lunch is not an option. These have to be dropped off at another part of the school prior to the first lesson and this would just provide more school stress for him. He’s never going to queue. So it’s Flapjacks, sandwiches or go hungry. I suppose at least he is eating something- 481st bad parenting example, it’s not a healthy option. Will just have to ensure he gets a good breakfast and have plenty of food in for his return.

One last thought.

After our conversation he asked what was for tea.

Rather sheepishly I replied

“I baked a fresh batch of Flapjacks this morning”


For a different and far more astute take on the autism school lunchtime trials please read Robyn’s great post from earlier in the week.

67 thoughts on “Enlightened by a flapjack

  1. With a hearty breakfast he should be just fine!! And staggered lunchtimes adds a different kind of chaos… some kids were eating lunch at 1030, 11, 1130, 12, 1230

    Kids that eat at 1030 are not quite hungry enough and then STARVING when school gets out at 300. Oy

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Each child is different. My grandson does not like conversation. Even now at 23 he will hug me and go to his room and focus on his game. He is a gamer and works and has a university degree in computer graphics which is an alone job. :))


      1. That is a bit absurd, I understand wanting to keep the school rodent free, but a child should be allowed the occasional snack like a granola bar, pretzels or package of fruit snacks…oy!


  3. This school is making me very angry! Why should a child have to stand in line 20 minutes, then wait longer for a seat to open up. And WHY can he not carry his packed lunch with him and keep it at his desk? Have these people ever heard of ‘reasonable accommodation’? Grrrrrrrrrrrr … they are lucky there is 4,000 miles of ocean between me and them! Meanwhile, stop beating yourself up … you are doing a wonderful job. Remember that you are a human, not a robot. Hugs to you both!

    Liked by 3 people

      1. I wasn’t too great at baking when I started out and even for many years after. But one day I discovered non-mixer stuff – cakes and muffins that didn’t require a cake mixer. I was a bundle of joy then! I couldn’t bear the scant minutes it took to assemble the mixer and later to put it all back into its box so non-mixer was heaven sent.
        I began to get okay at muffins and once you get the hang of them, you can sneak in all sorts of stuff – carrots, cheese, oats, etc. They can be filling too.
        I got one basic recipe and added on ingredients, but so much that it aroused my kids’ suspicion.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m quite surprised they don’t have allowances in place for your son… My son was allowed to leave for lunch 5 minutes earlier than the other kids so he didn’t have to deal with the noise! … Is it time for another meeting with the school?

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Cooking together has already been suggested, so have fun.
    Would a Lazy Pizza work for you? One small baguette stick cut in half longways. Cover with cheese, sliced ham, tomatoes, whatever topping you fancy, definitely a layer of cheese on top and cook slowly under the grill until crispy round the edges and brown and bubbly on the top.
    The foster kids loved it.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. You only have to do the one side, no spread required as the cheese provides the ‘goo’. I like pineapple and ham on mine, sometimes with sliced mushrooms under the cheese, but the have to be partially cooked and drained first else they go like rubber Bouncy pizza is not good!!

        Liked by 1 person

  6. I made some questionable choices around lunches and the dreaded lunch hall, so I get it. I didn’t ask for help though. If it’s known that your son is struggling and the school is still not willing to make any adaptations, that’s just unfair. I hope you can get them to agree to a more practical solution that means he gets a proper lunch.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Oh ugh, I cannot imagine this insanity for ANY kid. Mine are such picky eaters that I just pack their lunches, but they can take their lunches with them–I don’t have to drop them off on a separate trip.
    Jeez, no wonder you’re wondering about online school, if only for his health…

    Liked by 1 person

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