You know it’s going to be a long day when you wake up as a zombie. You stumble into the kitchen. You switch on the kettle. Then you get a bright flash and a deafening bang. The kettle joins the long line of broken appliances. A nice cup of cold water doesn’t quite cure zombieism as well as a dark brooding cup of coffee sludge. So we struggle on in a permanent haze.

Simple work tasks suddenly became modern day Rubik cube tortures.

Attaching a new belt to the hoover – a five minute job usually turned out to be as difficult as splitting an atom.

Trying to organise a few appointments for our son – might as well have been trying to schedule the next Guns and Roses World Tour.

Trying to activate my new Bank Card over the phone was equivalent of trying to authenticate nuclear launch codes.

A simple freeze wrap food parcel took on the same properties as Adamantium. My lunch wasn’t going to get consumed today.

Unbelievably the sun made an appearance for two hours this afternoon. Just enough time to take the dog for a reasonably dry walk and cut the the grass. Only just enough time. Sat looking at a unresponsive lawnmower for thirty minutes. The last ten of those minutes involved a carefully selected fault finding approach involving a hammer and my boot. Eventually the penny dropped and I realised that it would actually help if I inserted the 36v battery into the cordless mower. As I get older I become more like Daddy Pig from Peppa Pig. Luckily I just about finished the lawn before the weather closed in. The next rain event has now arrived. Looking at the forecast the next lawn cutting window is probably well into 2020.

So today was a bit of a write off. Strangely microwaved coffee doesn’t seem to taste so good. Boiling water on the oven just takes too long – sorry mum and dad. So tomorrow will start with another cup of cold water. Then it’s an urgent trip to the shops for a non exploding kettle.

80 thoughts on “Exploding kettle

  1. I agree, your career as a writer of humorous books about everyday disasters is waiting for you. Than you will be able to afford all new appliances too. And this is not satire!

    Liked by 3 people

  2. We all have those days and sure you’ve noticed that such days never come when you’re rested enough, up-to-date on home chores and there’s plenty of good leftovers in the fridge.
    I’m so sorry, sending you hugs. There’ll be some good hours coming, don’t worry.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Thank you! – for taking up my share of ‘those’ days, as well as your own. It is most generous of you dear Sir! ๐Ÿ™‚ Much appreciated i assure you.

    It is 3 days from Mid-winter’s day down here and the sun is shining, birds are singing, blue skies abound with barely a breath of wind, flowers are blooming like crazy and it hasn’t rained for 3 days now. Maximum in the mid-60’s though, brrr!… Some of us have it tough!

    Adamantium – wasn’t that a band from the 80’s, had a few hits?? ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Liked by 3 people

      1. Their lead singer/guitarist could be Slash! ๐Ÿ˜‰

        Low 50’s?? I don’t get out of bed before 62!

        (Seems like my comment problem has been resolved, as the one below would indicate – but i’m not counting any chicks just yet!?)

        Liked by 2 people

  4. Well sods law, is that your toaster will ‘go’ next! At least you can function on coffee (when you get your new kettle). Yo do know, of course that all appliances these days have self-destruct codes that trigger right after the warranty date expires. Consumerism eh? Nowadays, we need a mortgage and ultra-protection insurance just for the kitchen and its myriad of hazardous contraptions. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Liked by 4 people

      1. I dunno why they make packaging so difficult you dread opening a box of eggs. Might rather starve in fact. Or activating a bank card results in you having a stand up fight with some automated bot, your phone rather. The other day I lost an hour of my life trying to prise the top bit of a baby walker off to stick some batteries in it. this was after I had spent 30 minutes unscrewing every bit of it looking for the battery compartment. And you add sod’s law to that, you know like domestic appliances that microwaves that like to keep their good mate the kitchen sink company cos its pipes all burst, by blowing up, That did not happen the other day but it once did. Yeah. Modern life is stressful.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I thought I’d have to go lie down in a darkened room that day. I had already dealt with hauling the kitchen floor up…the ceramic tiles… dragging in the Christmas food shop… the thought that I had been forgiven for thinking that after I stepped in with it, and having left my older girl to show in the plumber, I had somehow stepped into the wrong house… the buckets, the pipes, the fact that the dishwasher was sitting in bits in the centre of what was left of the floor… her saying, ‘Now Mum, sit down and let me explain this …’ I had cleaned it all up, it took me hours. And I had just put some food in the microwave when it went up in flames…

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Yup, crap start to the day, hope it got better! I live on a boat and to cut down on the ‘lecky’ (well it’s actually sun power as we’re solar) we have a kettle which boils on the stove – Yup it’s bloody slow! ๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ˜‚

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Me too… We light the woodstove for our hot water. We do have a bottled gas stove too though. It’s nice not to have to rely on the leccy stuff… We have enough problems trying to get a TV signal… Something gets wet in the rain, and it completely disappears leaving us looking at a blue screen! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

    Liked by 2 people

      1. No, most of it is rubbish. Will watch the women’s World Cup football tonight though… England is playing Japan.
        And ‘Summer of Rockets’ is on too… Ongoing Drama based on cold War espionage in England. Decisions, decisions! It’s all or nothing most nights. ๐Ÿ™„

        Liked by 1 person

  7. Excellent. Love your vivid, personal style. Fills me with regret about what happened to you. Morning without coffee…yeah, tried that. Walked into walls. Accidentally kicked cats (who didn’t think it was an accident, and let me know it). Dressing was like wrestling with a load of wet clothes. Typing requires a lot of back spaces and deleting until I’ve poured some coffee down my gullet. I was once so desperate, I put some Starbucks Via instant coffee in my mouth, like snuff, you know, a pinch between the gum and the cheek.

    Yeah, it wasn’t the same. Didn’t work except to have a gritty mouth for the rest of the morning. I need the real sludge. Without it, there’s barely a pulse and neurons do not fire. Didn’t envy you and your morning at all.

    Cheers

    Liked by 2 people

  8. You seem to be having one hell of a week – and not in a good way! I read my weekly horoscope forecast and apparently all the challenges for most people is due to the influence of Mars – and maybe the full moon is having an impact too. Whatever it is I will be glad when things turn to calmer weather. Sorry you’ve having such a time. I hope your search for a new kettle is successful and that the new one is definitely the non-exploding kind, Hang in there.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Those days. They seem to last forever. And the coffee? My back up plans if the kettle fails – I also have 2 coffee makers, I’m not far from Starbucks, Argos do an amazing same day delivery and I know because I used it the last time the kettle exploded.
    I’ve now had my two coffees and I’m trying to decide whether to hang the washing out in between the rain showers. It’s not looking promising.
    Hope things improve for you soon.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Oooooh, I have been there, my friend, and it is AWFUL. Coffee makers usually last about 2 years with me. This one I’m stretching despite its constant leakage of water from…somewhere. There must be a crack in that tank where the water heats up, but not such a big crack that the water just all spills out. But when one’s on a budget, what else can one do?

    Liked by 2 people

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