The last storm toppled the walls of this STRAW CASTLE. The Farmer won’t be happy.

At least it is still in better shape than the local stone castle.

One of the first post funeral trips I managed by myself was to a book fair just a few yards from what’s left of this castle. It wasn’t easy or enjoyable but I did do it, a step forward back then. One of the books I brought home was a ‘how to survive bereavement’ guide. It quickly ended up in the bin but I do remember one thing it talked about. How talking to a lost loved one might feel natural but wasn’t a good thing. Apparently it just stopped you moving on.

I clearly didn’t listen to that gem of advice that well.

Even after 7 plus years, if there is any news about her SON, I tell her. To me it’s not about moving on, it just seems the right thing to do for us.

Maybe one day someone will produce the shortest ever bereavement guide. One page. Maybe it just needs to say.

Every grief journey is unique. As time goes on you will start to figure out yours.

49 thoughts on “Straw Castle”

  1. You captured it so beautifully and succinctly. And I think it’s lovely you still have that dialogue with your loved one. They are always near us and within reach.

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  2. You are so right.
    No-one can tell you how to grieve.
    Last year was horrific.
    Lost three family members in four months.
    Including my partner.
    And, a dear friend on Christmas day.
    Your journey is your own.

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  7. I’m lucky in not being able to speak from experience but ‘moving on’ probably isn’t where you want to be. A friend is just coming up to 2 years as a widow (it’s not even a nice word, is it?) and struggling with a wall of grief. Advice doesn’t help you through the day to day. You have to find your own way to cope.

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  17. I don’t understand the reasoning as to why you shouldn’t talk to a loved one that has passed. It seems to me to be a perfectly reasonable thing to do. Particularly about things your child has done. You grieve how you want and need to ❤️

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  19. I’m so sorry for your loss. My heart goes out you and your son. My boyfriend died in suicide and it will soon be 5 years since he died. We did not have any children together, but It took a toll on my children too because they felt helpless watching me grieving. I still, aftet 5 years, talk to my boyfriend. Grief is not a disease that is to be cured. It is a part of life when we lose a person we love. All my best to you and your son.

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