parenting – Page 11 – A Dad trying to cope with the loss of his Partner and becoming a single parent.

Posted on February 17, 2021February 16, 2021 by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 85 Comments

Pancakes

Oh no it’s pancakes. I have been let back into the kitchen. How can I wreck the pancakes this year. Like most things baking – they don’t come naturally to me. So this year the ingredients are ready. Carefully measured out.

What could possibly go wrong…

AND the results…..

Where do I start….

Not exactly round. Not exactly fluffy and light think putty. Either to thin or verging on a bread loaf. The taste well I thought ‘delicate, unobtrusive flavouring’ while Hawklad thought ‘tasteless mush only saved by mountains of sugar’.

So somewhere between 5 out of 10 to 1 out of 100. But here’s the thing. Pancake Day was special this year. Really special. It made the day DIFFERENT. In these lockdown times that makes it special.

Posted on February 15, 2021February 15, 2021 by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 64 Comments

Forgetful

Do you get those moments when you realise that you have clearly lost the plot. I’ve been telling Hawklad that the school half term week off is the last week of February. It always is….

I couldn’t work out last why a few of the teachers kept talking about end of module lessons, need to get things finished this week, we start something new in a couple of weeks…. Still the obvious didn’t sink in. Not until one teacher set an ‘end of half term test’.

Ok the week off is this week. This is completely down to me. School emailed parents after Christmas with the correct dates. The school calendar is clear. Basically the muppet gauge is registering ‘off the scale’ currently with me. That might explain why I put my coffee cup into the tumble dryer with the towels. That might explain why I filled my bath with cold water. That might explain why I lost my mobile so I tried phoning it on the land line – kept getting the engaged sound and didn’t work out that I was repeatedly phoning the landline. Might explain why I couldn’t find the toothpaste and strangely found that it was in my hand all the time. Might explain why I put Deep Heat on a hand cut rather than Sudacrem.

Everyday I move further away from George Clooney and ever closer to Homer Simpson. That’s both in looks and thought.

Wish I could forget that bit.

Posted on February 13, 2021February 13, 2021 by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 92 Comments

Who do I listen to

Another day and another pompous government minister telling the kids what best for them. Not listening. Not accepting differences. Not accepting that some will be ready to jump back into life, others will not. Not accepting that his form of education is really about serving his needs and the economy. Not prepared to listen and work with what individual children and families need. Wanting schools to go backwards towards Victorian values. Totally against the notion of moving schools forward and turning them into wonderful places of learning and personal growth. To make them enjoyable and yes FUN. But what do we know, he clearly knows best. Just do what we are told.

So this middle aged pompous bloke will shut up and tell you exactly how Hawklad sees where he is. This is what he told me last night when I LISTENED to him.

I love to go back to school. But not because of the teaching. To meet up with my friends again.
Most of the teaching is so not me. Doesn’t suit me.
I hate being told what to learn and how to learn it. Getting no choice. Being told what to think and how to remember it
Hate always worrying about breaking the rules. Worrying about getting negatives.
Hate having to put my hand up in a lesson and ask for help. It’s so hard in front of all the other classmates admitting I can’t read something.
Being told it’s perfectly safe to go to school when I know I can catch covid. Being crammed in a class with someone who might have it and not know it. Having to share equipment without them being cleaned. Then being told that I won’t get the vaccine as I’m low risk. Reading about mutations that no one seems to understand. To me school is not safe at all. Just can’t go back for a long time. Until it’s really under control. Until I’ve been vaccinated with something that really works. Until I get some space in school.

That says it all to this middle aged pompous chap. Tells me where he is. That’s who I will listen to. Not some pompous government minister living his closeted life who doesn’t care and doesn’t listen.

Posted on February 13, 2021February 14, 2021 by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 87 Comments

Prunes

Don’t you just love WordPress. It’s a bit like Prunes. You know they are good for you. So many benefits but a monumental pain in the backside….

Blogging is really so good for me but WordPress is a monumental pain in the ….. It just feels like wading through treacle.

Will it just once allow me to format the post as I want it to look.

Will it just once have a truly user friendly editor.

Will it just once not keep trying mess up my photos so I have to constantly keep on reloading them.

Will it stop showing me that my blog looks fine when some users can’t see the photos or only see messed up formatting.

Will it stop messing up a post when I dare to try and include a music or video link.

Will it stop changing all my text into micro font if I accidentally delete a bit WP doesn’t want me to do.

Will it stop randomly deleting people from my following list and then not bothering to tell me.

Will it stop randomly deleting comments I post.

Will it stop randomly deciding to freeze the iPad app. In fact will it stop freezing my iPad – it’s the only app that has ever done that for me.

Will the help desk stop blaming Apple for the working of its App.

WHINING OVER.

I like blogging. It helped me cope with loss. It helped me become a better parent. A better person. Made some great friends through it. Kept me connected with people during this period of isolation. So I guess I will keep taking my Prunes. The benefits are so worth it.

Posted on February 12, 2021February 11, 2021 by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 89 Comments

Origami

Tracks. Can you guess the little visitor?

***********

“Dad I’m not happy…”

What’s wrong?

“School. Apparently they think that origami is a fun activity”

Well many would agree.

“Not here they won’t. So when a teacher says ‘I have a fun activity for you‘ I personally would not be then referring to origami. I am tempted to contact my lawyer on this.”

Gone mad

Almost feels like winter….

Worlds gone mad. Well this country has.

This morning I was reading a scientific critique of our Government’s partial herd Immunity strategy. To summarise they found the Government’s approach deeply flawed and has resulted in a significantly higher death toll than should have been expected. The report argued that we should have adopted airport controls and checks at 10 months ago. We should have out in place an effective test and trace system. Lockdowns should have been used more effectively. The Governments decision to offer eat out at restaurants vouchers, open up the beaches for summer and ease regulations for Christmas were argued to be catastrophic decisions. The report pointed to the success New Zealand had achieved.

But then the madness starts. The so called impartial BBC Political Chief argued that it was impossible for the Government to do these things. It was also silly for opponents of the Government to compare here with New Zealand as….

New Zealand is an island and Britain is not an island. It’s a Kingdom.

I must go and check out our new found land bridge with Europe then….

If only that was the end of the Madness.

News today that another health contract has been awarded to a close friend of the Health Secretary (the chap awarding the contract). Apparently a close friendship and a personal political donation of thousands doesn’t constitute a conflict of interest!!!

If only that corrupt madness was the end of it.

After almost a year of having zero Covid checks or controls at our airports the Government has suddenly had a change of heart. Now it’s a 10 year prison sentence if you break the new airport rules. Hang on isn’t this the same Government that only a month ago was threatening parents and schools with court action if children did not go into the classroom. Ok so now you can get a 10 year prison sentence for lying on your Travel declarations. Let that sink in. Boris Johnson wants a 10 year prison sentence for people who lie – that’s Boris the serial liar…..

If only that was the end of the Madness.

The Government Numpty in charge of our schools has said that he is seriously looking into extending the school day and drastically cutting school holidays when they reopen. Reopen without any further social distancing or controls. Apparently pupils must catch up academically and that needs hard work. That is the only priority. Remember this chap. He was the one who clamped down on the time off children could have after a family death. He described bereavement leave as an extended holiday.

This might appeal to some but to me it is madness. Already he has slashed break and lunch times to cram in more school work. Let’s flog pupils and staff even more into the ground. No mention of improving the quality or safety of the learning environment. No mention of changing the disastrous national curriculum. No mention of boosting resources to make homeschooling more effective. No mention of offering the option of targeted help. No mention of mental health investment. No mention of a strategy to help with sports and leisure activities.

This island, sorry not an island, Kingdom has gone mad.

Posted on February 10, 2021 by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 55 Comments

Dystopian

One of the downsides of school at home is that it takes out the potential for no school – snow days. That’s more for me than Hawklad. Hawklads attitude is that he’s done sledging this year so no need to overdo things. Much better to stay warm and wait for Spring. The problem is that there is still school work to be done. Hopefully after the school day is over I might be able to tempt him into a bit of snowman building. But need to get there first….

“Dad I have to read or watch a Dystopian novel or movie. Do you think they would count Deadpool as suitable…”

Sadly I don’t think they will. Nice try.

“I was thinking about just watching your football team play. That’s definitely dystopian.”

That would make 1984 seem like a slapstick comedy. Newcastle United are definitely bleak, grim and soulless.

“And often pointless as well Dad.”

Come on we are doing quite well. We are 5th bottom. That’s good for us. You could listen to Iron Maiden’s Brave New World cd. That’s based on a dystopian novel.

“That’s an idea but I need to write a review. Not sure talking about guitar solos is quite going to be ok”

What about watching Hunger Games.

“No lots will be doing that. Fancy something different. Something like Deadpool.”

What about Brazil. It’s 1984 meets the darker side of Monty Python.

“That sounds like a plan Dad.”

Or you could watch Alvin and the Chipmunks. They are like the entertainment version of my football team.

“Dad that doesn’t sound like a plan”

**********

And that was the best lesson of the day. The other lessons being a tad grim. Learning things that would seem to be just for the purposes of the national curriculum. He’s never going to need them after school. The learning process was so dry and boring. He has absolutely no interest in what he was trying to take in. So many frustrations. Ultimately what is the point. Queue Another Brick in the Wall. Maybe we are living in our very own dystopian world.

Posted on February 10, 2021February 8, 2021 by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 72 Comments

Here we go again

I came outside for some fresh air. More home schooling mayhem, messed up housework and lost clothing items. The usual stuff. Feels like a Nanny is required.

Oh Nanny where do we start.

Just hours ago I wrote about Pixar trying to flood the house with tears. Imploring them to at the very least give some warning before they try to break our hearts with death and bereavement.

So Pixar is on the naughty list and off the viewing list here for a while. They just can’t be trusted. Not with providing tear free family entertainment. So let’s stick with Disney. How about a good safe movie like Mary Poppins. How about the 2018 Mary Poppins version. That’s totally safe. The original was perfectly fine.

Oh Nanny what have you done.

Within 10 minutes we find a husband in a mess after his wife has died. Three kids to look after and a home soon to be repossessed.

REALLY……

I’m sticking to watching Peppa Pig and the TellyTubbies…..

Posted on February 9, 2021 by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 41 Comments

Easy

Not quite snow drifts yet. Maybe not this time.

I keep thinking back to a childhood memory. The family house had no central heating and just two fires. A fake burning log pile electric fire in the back room and an old cold fire in the living room. I can remember having to help dig a path through the piled up snow to the outside coal bunker. That woke you up in the morning. It also focused the mind. No coal. No fire. No heat in the house as the electric fire used up the coins set aside for the electric meter far too fast.

Looking back I am so in awe of my parents. How on earth did they cope with 5 kids without the help of things we so take for granted now. They didn’t even have a fridge for so many years. They either grew they own food or bought it from the local small estate shops. No supermarkets to fall back on. Both had to work as well. Work hard. No overseas holidays to recharge for them. A holiday for them was catching the train to local seaside tourist towns. Whitby and Scarborough. No overnight stats as well. Jump on the train. Potter about for a couple of hours then grab fish and chips for the train journey back home. That’s one of my other vivid childhood memories. The family jumping back onto the train with our fish supper wrapped up in newspapers. As the train set off we started passing round the bottle of tomato ketchup. Proper ketchup, the stuff you had to shake vigorously before unscrewing the bottle top and copiously spreading a think layer of the red stuff over the chips. Unfortunately someone had forgotten to screw the bottle top back on. My dad started to vigorously shake the ketchup bottle just as the Ticket Collector appeared. The top flew off and dad sprayed the carriage – very very red. I still can’t work out who was more angry. Dad or the Collector. It was definitely a frosty trip home.

Seems like a different world now. As hard as I think my parenting life is these days, it pales compared to those times a few decades back. I so need to remember that the next time I start to complain about how hard my life is. Nothing compared to what my parents had to survive.

It’s a relatively easy life now.

Posted on February 8, 2021 by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 70 Comments

Pixar

The sun always rises. It always rises in cartoons – eventually.

I so would like to have a word with those really talented people at Pixar Studios. You keep making the most wonderful cartoon movies. What a list

Toy Story, Cars, Monsters Inc, Nemo, The Incredibles, Wall-E, on and on

I don’t know how many times Pixar has become the essential Parenting Tool over the years for me. Keeping both child and Dad occupied and laughing. But I need to have words. What is it with the fixation with death and loss. Is it possible to go a few years without have your cartoons venture into the subject. If I want to be depressed then I can pick up a Leonard Cohen cd or watch Love Story. When I’m trying to find fun things to do like watch Pixar movies I really don’t want to venture into the sad stuff.

We endured UP the other night. It’s a great cartoon with some really funny bits. But man those first ten minutes where Carl losses his beloved wife before they lived out their dream. I was in buckets of tears. Really Pixar. It’s not big and it’s not clever….

So come on Pixar stop going all Love Story on me. Or at the very least bring in a labelling system. List movies like UP as ‘contains mega bereavement’ at least then I can prepare myself for it. Or even better do more movies that are just slapstick ‘buddy’ adventures where I can park my sad emotions for two hours.