Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 56 Comments

Liebster

Thank you to Kristian for the Liebster nomination from his great site Tales from the mind of Kristian. Very kind of you.

The Rules

  • Acknowledge the blogger that gave it to you and display the award
  • Answer 11 questions that the blogger gives you
  • Give 11 random thoughts about yourself
  • Nominate 11 blogs and notify them of their nomination
  • Give these blogs 11 questions to answer

Because these are good questions, people are tending to stick with them.

The Questions:

11 questions

1)What is your biggest pet peeves?

Why do pets have to pull the Christmas tree down every two minutes. At least the dog hasn’t cocked his leg on it yet. The angel on top of the tree is genuinely looking like it needs to go into rehab after what the girl cat did to it this morning.

2)Where did you get the name for your blog?

I came up with the single most rubbish blog name ever. Can’t blame anybody else except me. It just sort of popped into my head.

3)If you could change your blogs name, what would it be?

The perfect family still together.

OR

Whatever Will Smith calls his blog.

4)What was your favourite show as a kid?

Too many to mention. Captain Scarlet was number 1 ScoobyDoo was number 2.

5)Do you have any weird habits?

Too many. Won’t eat the ends of a banana. If I read a newspaper I read it Japanese Manga Comic style, back to front. Turn into a wolf every full moon. Always give my car a name then say hello and goodbye to it when I drive. If I’m concentrating I tend to stick my tongue out. Could go on for pages.

6)Do you like fall scents/tastes?

Yes favourite time of year.

7)What is your favourite holiday and why?

SWITZERLAND. 🇨🇭 Stunning scenery, beautiful food, lovely friendly people, worlds greatest public transport system, MEMORIES

8)Do you prefer writing it down or typing it up?

My handwriting is so bad it has to be typing. Having said that I still can only type with two fingers.

9)Netflix or cable?

Prefer to buy cheap DVDs than watch TV these days.

10)If money didn’t matter, what would you do with your life?

Become the Yorkshire Batman. Would probably have to change my name to something like ‘Rhubarb Man’ or ‘The Yorkshire Pudding’.

11)What is your favourite thing about yourself?

Absolutely Nothing.

11 Things About Me

  1. As a kid I had a 3 legged tortoise called speedy who walked round in circles.
  2. A few years back I apparently looked like Harry Potters Dad. Not sure if that was before or after Voldermort made a mess of him.
  3. When I played football for the university my nickname was Bagpuss.
  4. I worked for a while at the Forensic Science Service. No idea why but one of the office sites was slap in the middle of the U.K.s atomic weapons research site. Many years ago. But then it was the U.K.s highest security site. Mad old place. Probably just broken the official secrets act – sorry Theresa
  5. I was born in Yorkshire but a couple of years later the government decided that my town couldn’t be in Yorkshire anymore. It’s the stuff of revolutions.
  6. I used to go fishing with some of my friends. I hated the thought of hurting a fish so I never put a hook on my line. Friends never found out.
  7. When I was a kid one of my favourite shows was ScoobyDoo. Back then I desperately wanted Velma to be my girlfriend.
  8. I’ve seen the following bands: Deep Purple, Motörhead, The Firm, Whitesnake, Tin Machine, Ozzy, Black Sabbath, Scorpions, Meatloaf, Blue Oyster Cult, Rory Gallagher, Magnum, Gary Moore, Saxon, Mountain, Eric Clapton, Asia, Bad Company, Dio, Marillion, Runrig, Blackfoot, Kirsty Macoll, Alice Cooper, Pink Floyd, Peter Gabriel, Neil Young, Extreme, Tina Turner, Brian Adams, Al Stewart, Suzy Quattro, Roy Harper, Hollywood Vampires, The Darkness, The Dammed, Iron Maiden. Plus because of my partner I have seen Ronan Keaton twice…….
  9. I got my first name from a famous American actor, who did a lot of cowboy movies and it’s not John Wayne.
  10. I was privileged to be in a crowd which was addressed by Nelson Mandela.
  11. I once spent time on a climbing wall with a someone who later went on to climb Everest.

Nominations

Open it up to anyone who fancies a crack at some of the same questions. It is ok to admit any lycanthropy tendencies – we are all friends here.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 46 Comments

Early morning

I decided to get up really early this morning to try and do a bit of work catch up. But the work gods are still against me. In my half asleep state I somehow found a way of opening up the laptop and switching it on.

“Configuring Windows Update. Do not turn off your computer”

Stumbled off to make a cup of tea (as Velma Dinkley would say – Jinkys) why did I choose this week to give up coffee.

“Configuring Windows Update. Do not turn off your computer”

Stumbled back into the kitchen to make a bit of breakfast.

“Configuring Windows Update. Do not turn off your computer”

Stumbled back into the kitchen to make another cup of tea. Clearly the last one didn’t wake me up.

“Configuring Windows Update. Do not turn off your computer”

Better sort out the smelly cat litter, like smelling salts, that’s woke me up.

“Configuring Windows Update. Do not turn off your computer”

And on and on and on. Two hours later it’s still in configuration meltdown.

So I can’t turn off the computer but it doesn’t say anything about using it as the new cat litter tray,

“Configuring Windows Update. For gods sake don’t let that cat pee on your computer”

So zero work done but I did get to see a sunrise and hear the stunning 🦅 dawn chorus. I had forgotten how magical this time of day can be.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 79 Comments

Pets feel

Our pets give us so much entertainment and bring much needed smiles to this broken house. They have really helped get us through the last couple of years. Yes they can be terrors but humans can be oh so much worse….

But I think one pet needs a special mention. They big boy cat. He is such a softy. Even when the cats could venture outside he was not really an apex predator. Never worked out how to hunt. The girl cat would frequently bring him some live offerings. But the boy cat would carefully paw them, then roll over – I suspect he was hoping the vole would tickle his tummy. Strangely the vole would scurry off into the hedge counting it’s blessings. The boy cat would frequently get stuck in the tree requiring rescue. He was petrified of the cat flap so we had to cover it up. He had a favourite type of toy. He would only play with our son’s Dr Who Dalek plastic figures – nothing else. You would see him searching the toy box in a desperate attempt to find the elusive evil masterminds. He has worked out how to open door handles so he gets free run of the house.

But he was also inseparable from my partner. He would follow her about and he always seemed to be on her lap. When my partner went out the cat would sit at the front window and wait for hours until she came back. Sadly you can’t explain bereavement to a cat. I’ve got no idea what the boy cat is thinking. I can’t confirm that he is grieving like we are. But I know one thing for a fact. Every night he sleeps where our partner used to sleep and you frequently see him at the front window. I suspect he’s waiting for her to return.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 2 Comments

Keeping Children Safe in Public Places

I have been asked if I would bring a blog post about keeping kids safe to your attention. The post is from a blog called When fit hits the Shan.

“what started as another blog post is more to me now. This isn’t about promoting myself or my blog. I am a mom too, and I can’t handle the thought of a child being taken from his parents like that. “
“I really think this trick saved that boy. I was so sad and scared to think that I had never heard of it. I would not have used this technique if it had been my child on the beach that day, and I would have lost her. What I want is to share this information with all parents because I think it can save families”

https://whenfithitstheshan.com/2018/12/06/how-to-respond-when-children-wander-away-or-worse/

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 44 Comments

Literally

Children on the autistic spectrum can often take words literally. Now most of this can be put down to the confusing nature of language. Why do we make it so difficult. Often English doesn’t even seem like my second language. It did take me three attempts to pass my English exam.

It is something we noticed with our son at an early age. I can clearly remember one time when naughty dad had eaten all the smarties. When our son quizzed the suspect I remember saying

“Must have been the dinosaur in the kitchen”

Five minutes later our son is ransacking the kitchen in a desperate dinosaur hunt.

Another time I remember saying “and Pigs might Fly”. A few weeks later at nursery our son began telling the other kids that pigs could fly. And given a lot of the kids realised how much he knew about animals – they all started believing it to. So if you ever hear someone like Coyote Peterson or Chris Packham talking about flying pigs on their nature shows – then you probably know who to blame. Sorry

We had to become more careful in what we said. We tried to make sure if a joke was told or any colloquial language used that we immediately pointed what had been done and why. Explaining that words can have different meanings. We also tried to stress the importance of not only hearing the words but also trying to listen for how things have been said. We worked on his body language recognition skills. One game which helped was watching the TV with the volume turned off and trying to guess which people were happy or sad or angry or being serious.

To this day he still quite often takes words literally. It’s a worry going forward into senior school. But he is learning. He now frequently asks “is that real” or “is that true” to try and confirm meaning and last week….. He was using my iPad in another room. He kept shouting that it wasn’t working properly. Me being a lazy sod I was trying to shout instructions back rather than going to look at it. After several minutes he shouted that it was still not working. Without thinking I replied “just flush it down the toilet”. Few seconds later the toilet flushed. I have never ran so fast. Fortunately I found a laughing son saying “got you there dad”. Happy Days….

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 17 Comments

Bridges

Sunday seems such a long time ago. I just love the quayside area of Newcastle. Yes it’s built up. Some of the architecture is 18th century housing modern wine bars, restaurants, fast food joints and pubs. But it just seems to work and dovetail together.

But the highlight for me are the bridges over the River Tyne. All so different and just stunning.

Too often people look towards the famous Tyne Bridge and forget to look in the other direction.

Son was really brave and made it into the football stadium. He enjoyed the full Mr Men display from his dad. He even got animated with the pompous and bumbling referee (without prompting). For anyone who follows English Football – Mike Dean is infamous. Yes it ended up with my team losing again but that misses the point. It was one of those days where our son ventured into a world which is not his and rather enjoyed it.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 47 Comments

Monday Monday Monday

Monday finishes off with a visit from Santa. It’s about the only event the village has. Raising money for charity. Raising smiles with children. Sorry for the poor photo.

However we never get a dull day.

Nice dog walk completed. Return of the strange yellow thing. Coffee made. Laptop opened. Work commenced. PHONE RINGS.

As Captain Jack Sparrow would say – “Bugger”

So ten minutes after opening the laptop I’m on the way to meet our son at the hospital. Accident at school and a hurt hand. Few x-rays and it’s a visit to the fracture clinic tomorrow.

Back home for some needed TLC for our son. Work day has turned into a marathon movie day. Can we get through the complete Pirates of the Caribbean series in one day. It’s odd watching the movies having now seen Johnny Depp live – playing guitar.

Lord knows when I’m going to get some work done. Maybe a few all night sessions. But in the scheme of things it doesn’t really matter. Now back to Captain Jack and the third movie.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 66 Comments

Strange Yellow Disk pt2

Day after day of dark clouds and rain. The usual dog walk preparation – about 10 layers underneath at least two layers of waterproofing. Dog caked in mud after a couple of minutes. Then…

In the distance a small band of blue. Quickly the blue sky approached and then the strange yellow disk poked out from behind the clouds.

That’s two sightings this winter – already a record for Yorkshire.

Now rush back home, quick blog then work work work. Hope for no school phone calls today. After that it’s the late Amazon present scramble. I dream of having our son’s (and beloved partners) planning skills.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 52 Comments

Call from school

Friday was going to be a big work day. After that video Thursday was a write off. Friday was positive, Friday was going to be a big work catchup day. So taking no risks with unexpected grief reminders – a carefully selected range of cds was lined up. Work started.

Then the phone rings. The phone call parents dread from school:

“I’m sorry your son is not so good at the moment can you come and pick him up”

As a couple you then have that urgent exchange of calls or texts to decide who is best placed to pick up. Unfortunately as a single parent all you can do is sigh, switch off the laptop and head to school. Monday is now ‘manic work Monday”.

Luckily it was nothing too lasting. Anxiety leading to an upset stomach which is quickly remedied by Tomato Soup and the prospect of the weekend. We often forget how stressful school can be for kids. Added to that – Autism and schools are not natural bed fellows.

Schools often forget that they don’t really do that much to relieve this anxiety. I haven’t forgotten that national budget cuts restricts what schools can do. But surely progress can be made. Large parts of the school are quite old and pretty grim. Without doubt the grimmest location tend to be the toilets. They are awful. Dark, smelly, completely unwelcoming. His last School’s facilities were awful and as a result many of the kids refused to use them. According to our son he only used them once in 5 years. At his new School the toilets are equally Victorian. With the added ingredient that they are poorly monitored and are a hive of bullying.

IS THIS NOT 2018….

OR IS IT A PINK FLOYD VIDEO

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 23 Comments

30-Day Song Challenge

The 30 day song challenge seems to continue to grow. I think Yorkshire is probably unrepresented so we had better throw our cloth hats in.

Day 1

A song you like with a colour in the title.

http://youtu.be/QBG2Fpg1x-Q

Start of with a belter from Pinky and Perky singing Yellow Submarine. Son who is co-producing this post is horror stricken by this choice.

Day 2

A song you like with a number in the title.

http://youtu.be/9qbRHY1l0vc

After the last belter our son has grabbed this one. Gone for the mighty Iron Maiden with Two Minutes to Midnight.

Day 3

A song that reminds you of summertime.

http://youtu.be/rBb5y8IHAtE

Andy Williams – Music to Watch the Girls Go By. One of my mums favourites. Always think of sitting in the garden listening to this on hot summer days as a kid. Son thinks it’s kinda cool.

Day 4

A song that reminds you of someone you rather forget.

http://youtu.be/co6WMzDOh1o

Soon as our son heard the question he knew that person I won’t to forget. Bono. Don’t really care which U2 song it is…..

Day 5

A song that needs to be played loud

http://youtu.be/1iwC2QljLn4

The first song we completely agree on. Both said the same song at the same time. Had to be Moțrhead РThe Ace of Spades. Managed to see Lemmy and the gang many years ago, still waiting for the ears to stop ringing.

Day 6

A song that makes you want to dance.

http://youtu.be/CH1XGdu-hzQ

Son’s choice apparently this is called Gangnam Style. It’s is rather cool.

Day 7

A song to drive to.

http://youtu.be/vHVQI98C-qY

Black Stone Cherry – Like I Roll. A great driving song and one our son concurs with.