Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 54 Comments

Hidden secret

My favourite tree. Has been for over two decades now, everyday I see it from the garden, standing alone and proud. Surviving several lightning strikes and countless storms.

But today after all these years I discovered something special about that wonderful tree. A magical hidden secret…..

Hawklad sat an exam today at home. Two hours worth of work. I set him off and kept out of his way. No need for two teacher referees this time. I was asked to keep an eye on him to make sure he stuck to the exam rules. Deep sigh….. They could just ask him and he would straight away tell them the truth. On one trip to Switzerland I gave him a sip of a shandy drink. At the end of the holiday we went through Swiss Customs. We were asked if we had anything to declare. Hawklad immediately owned up to that shandy….

No I didn’t enforce the exam rules. He walked about. He finds sitting still difficult, not moving for two hours would be torture to him. He had some noisy crisps and really loud wrapped up mints. He talked to the pets. The key things he stuck to. He didn’t use any sources of help, he observed the time allocation. If only school exams could be this flexible.

So the hidden secret.

The other side of the much loved tree has a face…

An angry face. Can you see it.

Wow. How did I miss that. Just goes to show that you can never be certain that you know everything. But I do know that school exams are forms of legalised torture. Why do we do that to them.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 29 Comments

Sharks

The daft things we say or I say.

I was about to quote a certain Star Wars catchphrase to Hawklad. Unfortunately I was still a bit distracted as I had just been to the kitchen to fetch some ice cream, so ‘let the FORCE be with you’ came out as ‘Let the FRIDGE be with you’. That would fundamentally change the overall ethos of the Jedi Order.

Then just a few minutes later…..

“Dad I can’t believe you said that”…

It will taste like chicken, everything tends to taste like chicken.

“Dad, it might work with meat but I asked what a pomegranate taste likes….”

That is a valid point. That old expression just popped into my head. To be fair I am from Yorkshire which explains many things. Round here if you stop your car for directions you run the risk of getting this helpful piece of advice, “Eh Lad, I wouldn’t be starting from here to get there…”

Is it just a Yorkshire thing…..

My mind wanders back several decades. I remember going on a Geography Field trip with school. We went to the seaside and found ourselves on top of a huge cliff. One lad asked the teacher, a right Yorkshire character, if we could follow the steep path down to the beach. This was at the time a certain big fish with teeth movie was scaring the pants off millions of cinema goers. The teacher replied “NO”. When asked why, the first excuse that popped into his head was

“Because of sharks…..”. The mad teacher must have realised just how daft that had sounded to a group of snotty nosed teenagers. Pointing down at the massive cliff face he calmly recovered his credibility.

“I’d like to see Jaws climb up that bugger and then try to bite me on the bum, stood up here. “

This mad teacher had lots of form, I think he deserves his own post one day. Anyway looking back all those years, my FRIDGE comment isn’t so bad now. But I guess cliff top Great White shark attacks are kinds rare in Yorkshire.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 26 Comments

Vexing exams

Why is school so vexing. Do all parents end up feeling this way.

Important exams start tomorrow. Well I think they start tomorrow. This is based on three bits of evidence

1) One teacher has sent a calendar invite for something called an ‘Exam’ is his subject. To be fair to him he has also sent some revision notes. I can live with that…..

2) Many of the other classes have disappeared, I assume they have been revising.

3) A PE teacher emailed Hawklad’s Year Group this evening to tell them that Netball was cancelled tomorrow due to ‘your exams in the main hall’.

So important Exams I guess start tomorrow. Not sure if Hawklad is sitting them or not. Can we do them at home or not. If so are they online or written. When are they. What happens if he is not sitting them. Why are they important.

We wait with baited breath for news. Yes, school is most VEXING.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 28 Comments

Tree

That’s a tree which needs to be in the next Lord of the Rings remake.

Another school at home week is about to unfold, will it be academically more productive than the last one. I’m not hopeful. At least we have a better balance for Hawklad. The missing school lessons are replaced with Hawklad selected learning and time spent outside. I’m really hoping that is helping Hawklad, this is what this is all about. It’s kinda scary that after 14 years it still feels like I’m winging this parenting gig.

Winging it more than ever. I guess one advantage of being a single parent. I’m official the best parent in the house. Actually I’m also the worst parent in the house. Best baker, worst baker. That’s where is stops. Hawklad is the best in everything else. He’s even the tallest now. How emasculating is that for a Dad 🤣🤣🤣🤣. Well at least I’m still the heaviest in the house, that’s one crown he is never going to take from me. I knew eating all those donuts would come in useful one day. I just hope in the greater scheme of things, I’ve been more useful than a hinderance as parent. And with that thought I’m off to find the next box of donuts.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 35 Comments

Shy cat

Yesterday the mad dog got a bit of blogging attention, well today his partner in crime is getting the spotlight. It’s big fat cat time.

Shame he’s a bit shy….

Or is it just sign that it’s such a hard life being a big fat cat.

Here’s the thing. I feel like copying the cat sometimes. Well not that thing he does when he’s bent double…. But definitely this covering the eyes truck. Definitely feeling tired and worn down. Parenting doesn’t really give you many breaks. Single parenting since 2016, no meaningful breaks really. No holidays. No letting what’s left of my hair down. Throw a pandemic in and each day seems to be very similar to last one. Spooky that it was Groundhog Day this week, apparently the little hog chap farted which means it’s another 6 weeks of eating Lasagna or something like that. You get the picture.

This feeling will pass. I’ve had these spells before. A better nights sleep will help. Maybe a shed load of caffeine and chocolate will do the trick. Mum would get me to play some sad music as a pick me up, so where is my Pink Floyd – Final Cut album (wow that’s a cheerful thing) or even darker, The Best of Alvin and the Chipmunks. But until I get my mojo back, maybe that soft, big pudding of a cat has a point, at least for one night.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 39 Comments

Poems

Who are EWE looking at…..

Hawklad had an English assessment to do at home today.

Compare how poets present attitudes towards a parent in ‘Follower’ and one other poem from the ‘Love and Relationship’ anthology.

One poem was provided the other poem had to be recalled from memory, the class has been trying to memorise quotes from the other poems. 45 minutes to answer this one…..

Hawklad was suitably impressed…..

“Dad that was 44 minutes too long to answer that….”

“Dad don’t you think the poets would have hoped people would read all of their poems, rather than just trying to memorise little bits of their work like parrots”

“If I’m going to memorise some prose, then it’s going to be Shakespeare”

“I’m as bad at poetry as you are Dad….”

He did his best and that all that counts.

I was suitably not impressed with the question as well. I just wish schools and exam boards just thought a bit more about the questions they are setting. A question about parents and poetry seems relatively innocuous but of the thousands of pupils answering it, how many have lost a parent. One of the poems the class had to examine stresses the importance of a mother to a child. How’s that going to make kids like Hawklad feel. How many don’t have a parents at all. How many haven’t seen a parent in years. How many are going through hell because of their parents. This question could be really distressing for some pupils. Surely that’s not fair, surely that’s not right.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 55 Comments

Snowdrops

The first flowers of 2022. Winter might not be over but it feels much more manageable now.

There is a local saying here – The first snowdrops bring the first real snow. We shall see but the sledge is ready to fly down the hill. One of the advantages of a large posterior is that once the sledge gets going, wow does it get going.

Sill waiting for the school week to get going. Hardly any work provided today but that means Hawklad can set his own learning agenda. It necessarily great for his exams but much better for his own development. So while he was learning about multi universe theory (that’s not the Marvel version) I could go outside. Outside on my hands and knees. Checking at the beautiful new arrivals. That definitely feels more satisfying than the usual Monday school lesson day.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 45 Comments

Weaponised Baking

It’s been a while. Too long. But fear not. Baking is back. As Spock would say, it’s baking Jim but not as we know it…. I like to call it Weaponised Baking.

I know so many of you wait for those Michelin Standard baking tips. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

So here goes.

I was about to bake a loaf of bread but I wanted to spice it up a tad. Maybe add some cheese, or a few Mediterranean herbs. But it just didn’t go far enough. What could I find in the fridge or cupboards which was game changing..

A few hours later we have……

I give you gluten and dairy free, no added sugar – BLACK FOREST FRUIT BREAD.

The end result, just a bit different from cheesy bread. The taste, well it’s different. As Hawklad described it

“Well it doesn’t taste poisonous, it’s a unique sensation. Its like my taste buds are being assaulted…..”

True weaponised baking…..

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 46 Comments

Looking

Another early finish to a Friday school at home day. A few bits of work, some random, time consuming bits of homework. All done by 1pm. So time to head out for an afternoon stroll. A much needed stroll. I could get use to these Friday school days. Good for Hawklad as well. He finds it easier talking about his worries when he’s outside. Talking is good. Bottling them up is not so good. A few worries talked through then he can call the start of the weekend. Talk switches to fun stuff and we all need a bit of fun. Fun is good for the soul.

A very Yorkshire weathered statue. No it’s not in our garden…..

Walked past this statue so many times over the years and yet I’ve never taken the time to notice the details. But this week I took that closer look and look what I discovered on the plinth.

You just never know what you will find.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 24 Comments

Nearest

Early morning frosty walk.

One of those walks where it feels like you have the world to yourself.

And someone is on a mission to find the nearest tree.

Sometimes that nearest tree is frustratingly too far a way for such little legs.

February 2020, the last time Hawklad was at school. Where did those couple of years go……

Up to that point Hawklad hadn’t been comfortable in school. Well not his current secondary school, a school with over 800 other pupils. Too big, too noisy, too many sensory distractions, too many faces, too many strangers. It had been so different at his first and so much smaller school. Just 2 classes with no more than 40 kids. He felt more at ease there. He made some very good friends there. Frustratingly those friends got spread around the next school with none in his class stream. But he did manage to make a few more new acquaintances. So he did get to socialise with people his own age.

Then the last two years happened.

Two years of school at home.

In those two years, socialising has been at a premium. Two years and he’s seen one friend. She is good friend he met at his last school. They play some online games together and have met up a few times. But that’s it in two years. That is one consequence of a pandemic.

Two years and counting.