Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 40 Comments

Are we really happy about this

It’s still not even midday on this stormy Monday and it already feels like it’s been a long week. Much shaking my head at the areas and topics Hawklad is having to learn. Really how will these facts and skills set him up for the future.

Then he listens to the news. It’s filled with talk of pandemics, nepotism and a country rapidly appearing to be an inwardly looking police state. Women having to protest because they don’t feel safe. A complete and utter Brexit shambles. Ongoing environmental disasters. Lots of waving the flag and saying we are better than anyone else. Look how much we can blame on immigration. Everything has a price. Profit is king. A world where the makeover of the PMs flat is more important than a pay rise for nurses. Leaders talking about bringing Victorian values back into schools.

Hawklad hears this. He talks about this.

Are we really happy that our children are being exposed to this. Being brought up in this type of world. Learning this stuff. Are we happy that the likes of these people are in charge of our child’s education.

Deciding exactly what they learn, how they learn it, where they can source there information from. What part of the economy they can be slotted in to.

Is it really about the children or is just about the economy. If it is really about the children then why don’t we ask them what they want. What interests them. What works for them. What world do they want to grow up in.

I bet it’s not this type of world….

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 94 Comments

Vigil

Yesterday our Police cracked down on a peaceful candle lit vigil. A vigil where everyone in the crowd was wearing a mask. Cracked down on an outpouring of public grief. A show of solidarity with the basic right of every woman to be safe on our streets. Arrests were forcibly made. The reason – to comply with Government Covid Rules. The demonstration represented a public health risk. Even though it was outside and masked.

In 8 hours schools will be open. Lessons will be inside, in poorly ventilated, cramped rooms and largely unmasked. This apparently does not represent a public health risk. Parents are threatened with legal action from the Government if they fail to send their children into school.

My country has become a dangerously messed up place to live. The priorities of those in charge becoming more warped by the minute. Later this week the Government plans to go further and crack further down on protests. Even single person protests.

The tide has to change before more good people are hurt.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 61 Comments

This time

I can’t blame him for these, this time. But it does explain why he keeps coming in the house with muddy paws.

I had a post yesterday about Autism. When I wrote it things seemed ok with it. But then something happened. I happened….

I’m still working through this pcurrent bout of depression. Won’t be the first or last time I do this. When depression becomes DEPRESSION with me I start to doubt myself. Question my worth. That’s what happened yesterday. I reread the post and didn’t like it. The words were wrong. Uncertain of the message. Why was I bothering. If people want to read about Autism and Autism Patenting then they would be so much better off going to other blogs. Go to a blog like Robyn’s wonderful one. Nothing I said could change my mind. The voices in my would not be satisfied until I deleted the post. Eventually that is what happened.

Today the voices are not so strong. I guess today the post would have had a slightly better chance of being published. With my depression it comes in waves. Bad days then better days. Will be that way until I finally get on top of this run of D. In the meantime I will plod on. Trying to not listen to the voices in my head too much. Focusing on those things in my life which bring joy and happiness.

I can do this

We can do this.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 68 Comments

Pruning

That tree did need pruning…. Saves me a job.

Problem is that now the gardener wants to bring his new toy into the house. Must be a gardener thing. But I bet the branch would last longer than his last toy. The unbreakable dog toy that lasted 10 minutes.

Which all explains why I’ve just noticed in the corner of the living room a very well chewed branch. I guess we can call it a bit of Art Deco.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 66 Comments

Witches

Good to see I’m bringing our son up correctly. He learning the important stuff. The stuff which he will need going forward.

English set some homework to be done overnight. Read an article on a specific subject and answer questions. The class is currently analysing Macbeth. So the article was all about King James I and witchcraft.

“Oh that’s fine Dad, don’t need to look at the article. I can answer any question on that subject….”

Really Son. The questions are quite random. They are about witches and folklore.

“No problem at all Dad. I can do that…”

Ok without reading why was Macbeth shorter than other plays

“James I was well known to become restless sitting through long plays”

Ok how many people were killed in Scotland during the witch trials.

“Somewhere between 1400 and 1800″

What event convinced James I to act on witches

“A bad storm almost killed Anne of Denmark at sea”

How do you know that… what was his first act against witchcraft after that event.

“Easy he ordered the biggest ever witch hunt and witch trials around Berwick.”

Unbelievable.

“James I wrote a book on witchcraft. He clearly had issues with witches. He passed the Witchcraft Act which made the first offence for any suspected witch behaviour a hanging and burning offence. Before that you only got executed if murder was involved”

I think I need a coffee. That’s my level. I can’t even find my glasses most days….

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 89 Comments

Tired

There’s tired and there’s TIRED.

I don’t sleep much but even I struggle to function on one hours sleep.

I was trying to wash the bedding this morning. A task clearly beyond a ZOMBIE. I did remember to put washing powder into the right tray. Well kind of. I did pick up a box which was the same shape and size. It didn’t register that the powder was brown and biscuit like.

Yes the bedding was washed with Cat food. That’s TIRED….

Thankfully I don’t work on a Nuclear Power Station….

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 30 Comments

Things you never thought

When this photo was taken I was in full on planning mode for what promised to be a staggeringly busy year for our little company. Just a few weeks later everything was cancelled.

A year later and it looks like some work is potentially starting to brew again. Summer and Autumn may see a few items hitting the to do list. I actually wrote my first official email in months this morning. How times have changed. Who would have thought that I would be writing the word ‘Biosecurity’ in an email. Thats this muppet officially using that word. WOW. That’s the kinda word that only entered my world in an episode of the X-files. Now it’s a reality. Yes the world has changed….

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 46 Comments

Out of practice

It was a three cups of Decaf problem. Trying to explain Displacement Chemical Reactions to Hawklad. Problem is that it’s been decades since I last thought about them. I was clearly so out of practice.

Out of practice….

That got me thinking. Yes I do think somedays. Just how much I am out of practice in SO many areas. That’s not just in the area of Homeschooling. Lots of areas. Out of practice because of lockdown, because of single parenting, because of life.

  • Haven’t been on a bike in over a year,
  • Similarly my last run was back in March 2020,
  • Haven’t been out to a restaurant in 5 years,
  • Over a year since I watched a movie at the cinema,
  • Not experienced a Quickening in ages (That wont make any sense unless you’ve seen the Highlander movie). Quickening is the name I gave to family gatherings. The last time someone potentially lost their head at these get together was back in 2018,
  • Over 8 years since I tried my hand at climbing AND
  • Over 8 years since I tried my hand at falling off a cliff,
  • Not played team sports in 10 years,
  • Not had to give a speech at an audience in 7 years,
  • Not danced in a nightclub this century,
  • Not done any paid work in months,
  • Not been paddling in the bracing North Sea since 2019,
  • Not slept away from our house since the summer of 2015,
  • That was also the last time I went on holiday and had to look innocent on my way through passport control,
  • Haven’t had a hug or kiss since 2016,
  • Haven’t met up with friends since 2018,
  • Not ironed a shirt in a year,
  • Not packed an elephant sized amount of gear into a school bag in the same time.

So yes I’m definitely out of practice. It’s going to seem really odd when I do finally get back to doing some of these things. Really odd.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 46 Comments

Challenging

So my first Covid vaccination is in two weeks. The second is at the end of April. There are still no plans to offer vaccines to children. So in effect it does really change our situation going forward.

As of tonight the full online school system will be turned off again. Hawklad goes back to trying to keep up with his classmates with whatever we can get our hands on. How well that works depends largely on the teachers and teacher assistants. Dependent on them finding the time to send class materials and work. Since September it kind of just about worked. Better in some classes than others.

I’m not entirely hopeful this time around. The teachers and assistants have to be involved in supervising the pupils doing Covid self tests. For a school with 900 pupils to do that twice a week is a massive task. Support for Hawklad is likely to be very limited going forward.

It’s going to be a challenging period for everyone going forward.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 39 Comments

Biathlon

I’ve always loved winter sports. Definitely my favourites are biathlon, ski jumping, skiing and ski cross. One of my dreams is to see it in person one day. Still waiting….. November to March is great as I get to binge watch it on TV. But when March comes it’s always quite sad as soon the season will be over. No winter sports for 7 months.

That thought has been praying on my mind. 7 months is a long time. What to do.

I’ve looked for some Winter Sports DVDs and Books but there isn’t much about. So I have a stock pile of 3 books and one dvd documentary. Plus one game on the Xbox. The probability of our family lockdown continuing through those 7 months is really high. With no trips out. No runs. Just feels like I need more this year to keep me going.

“Dad what are you doing?”

I’m trying to see if I can do GARDEN biathlon.

“Really. It looks like you have gone mad…”

No there is method to my madness. I’ve dug out my two old walking poles. So to pretend I’m Nordic skiing I’m going to use the poles to walk round and round the garden. About 30 times round the garden is about 1km.

“Ok how long is a biathlon thing then”

Going to start small first. The Spring is 10km with two shoots. So I would do 100 laps of the garden between shoots.

“I think I can see what’s coming next but ok, why have you got my Nerf Gun.”

Well after 100 laps of the garden my pulse will be racing just like a Biathlete. So I will need to control my breathing and steady myself for the shoot. Ok I don’t have a rifle and five circular targets. So I’m putting some tins on the fence and I’m going to try and knock them over with your foam Nerf bullets. For every miss I will have to do a penalty loop or in my case 5 garden loops. The first shoot will be prone and the second will be standing.

“OMG Dad. You have cracked.”

So from April one of my daily workouts every week will be my Biathlon competition.

“You have lost the plot”

Most probably Son, most most probably. But just be thankful I’m not trying to recreate Ski Jumping. 😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣