I can’t blame him for these, this time. But it does explain why he keeps coming in the house with muddy paws.

I had a post yesterday about Autism. When I wrote it things seemed ok with it. But then something happened. I happened….

I’m still working through this pcurrent bout of depression. Won’t be the first or last time I do this. When depression becomes DEPRESSION with me I start to doubt myself. Question my worth. That’s what happened yesterday. I reread the post and didn’t like it. The words were wrong. Uncertain of the message. Why was I bothering. If people want to read about Autism and Autism Patenting then they would be so much better off going to other blogs. Go to a blog like Robyn’s wonderful one. Nothing I said could change my mind. The voices in my would not be satisfied until I deleted the post. Eventually that is what happened.

Today the voices are not so strong. I guess today the post would have had a slightly better chance of being published. With my depression it comes in waves. Bad days then better days. Will be that way until I finally get on top of this run of D. In the meantime I will plod on. Trying to not listen to the voices in my head too much. Focusing on those things in my life which bring joy and happiness.

I can do this

We can do this.

61 thoughts on “This time

  1. Write for yourself. I’d people don’t like what they read then they don’t have to follow you. In my opinion, you live daily with autism and Aspergers in your life and therefore have every right to voice your opinion and use the words that best suit your son and you. You are kind, generous and thoughtful and that comes across in every post you write ❤️❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I know those voices. They have been a constant companion since my husband died suddenly four years ago. More joined them when I lost my job and the virus thing created all this fear and insanity. I too, look at things I’ve done and thought them not enough. The thing is, as we fight against them, each victory, we are stronger, better, more understanding of our own pain. As Claire147 said, write for YOU. Share You, it is in the sharing of ourselves, that others who may be facing the same demons see that success is possible. They are not alone, it is not something no one understands but them. Share your heart, for it is beautiful.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Take a tip from the digger?  Go out and dig a hole until you’re exhausted and thinking of nothing about how silly it was to do so and what should you do with it.  Maybe your little friend is taking out his frustrations too.

    Sent from Yahoo Mail for iPad

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Don’t we all know the feeling of being unsure of ourselves? Well, maybe not everyone. I get it. Take for instance, last week someone said they wanted a photo of me to do a thing on the work online thingy and did I have a photo on my phone? I was all “Nope, I use my phone like a brick”. So I just let them take a photo. I was immediately then thinking “Shit!” ~ “Shit!!” (what was I thinking straight after a shift in full PPE?). Anyways, it took loads of “Get over yourself!” because sharing, right?

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Your autism post was fine. Try not to listen to the Depression Monster👹 I’ve been there myself, too many times to count.
    You may be physically isolated, but you are never alone, my friend! We got you! And yes we can do this!

    Just like Bob The Builder
    “YES, WE CAN!”😉
    Extra hugs!

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Depression is pretty wide-spread, especially so right now. Even though vaccines are being rolled out around the globe it will not take away the months and months of loneliness and extra stress this pandemic caused. And for many of us already dealing with regular bouts with depression it seems like a double whammy. You’ve had a lot on your plate for a very long time so please go easy on your self. You are an awesome Dad, a wonderful writer, and a lovely human being. Hang in there, there’s always a bend in the road.

    Liked by 1 person

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