It’s time for a bit of the weekly Terrible Poetry indulgence run by Chelsea Owen. This week the guidelines are
- Topic: Plot twists. Lament about how often stories have them, include a few in your poem, or pull a fast one on us and keep the poem going exactly where we expect.
- Length: Since this is Bruce’s first time, let’s be nice to him and keep the word count under 200.
- Rhyme? Your call. Have fun with it!
- As the #1 rule listed at #4, make it terrible. I want Bruce himself, master of the macabre story twist, to shake his head in disbelief and secretly envy the part of the twisting Roman gutters in which your mind lies.
- Rating? For general audiences, keep things PG-13 or cleaner. Bleep it out if you really need to release a torrent.
Yoda was the all seeing Jedi Knight
Yet was fooled with a hood and a dodgie light
While Luke was being the Star Wars Galahad
Who honestly thought that Vader was his dad
Bruce Willis seemed the perfect host
But ended up being a sodding Ghost
Poor Liberty Valence ended up getting shot
By John Wayne that’s a strange train of thought
The Sting was a shock when Paul and Robert copped it
But it just ended up being a gigantic counterfeit
The Village tried to fool us with a bit of double play
But it ended up being set in the Present Day
Anthony Perkins seemed such a nice chap
Yet as Mum and a psycho he got me into a flap
Seven tried so hard to subvert
By having a Box in the desert
Vertigo was Very very bleak
Judy being Madeleine was a bit of a cheek
Who in the Murder on the Orient Express would be first to admit
But what a sneaky trick to have them all do seem do it
The Wizard of Oz seemed strangely certain
Yet the wizard was a sad bloke behind a curtain
Reservoir Dogs was as cool as a soda pop
Yet sneaked in that Mr Orange was in fact a cop
Wow Scream tried smoke and mirrors
All to hide we didn’t have one but two killers
Jacobs Ladder tried to hide the thread
Hang on a moment another one who is dead
Even poor Harry Potter tried to be as shifty as a Manx Cat
I never saw Peter Pettigrew was Scabbers the Rat