Over the last couple of days our son has been even more disillusioned with school. School is still not being proactive which any support – he has to ask for help rather than have it incorporated into the teaching program. Some of the kids poke fun at him when he has to out his hand up for help. To make things worse now when he does ask for help the Teaching Assistant now ends the help by saying “now I’ve helped you what do you say”. Every single time our son has to thank the Teaching Assistant. Now I try to stress the importance of being polite but in this case….. From the sound of it the other kids are not asked to say thank you when they put their hand up for help – just our son when he needs some text reading out. Why single out the dyslexic child. Surely the Teaching Assistant can see that the kids poke even more fun when he says thank you.

Maybe it just my tired state anyway…

Last night to try and cheer him up I asked what might help make him happier. The answer – Toffee Apples.

So we set off to the local shop to find they had sold out. Only one option – make them myself – surely it can’t be that difficult. Silly old sausage.

First attempt (following recipe to the letter) would not set.

Next attempt – increase the temperature – even more runny, will not set.

Another attempt – decrease the temperature – annoyingly still as runny, will not set.

Yet another attempt – try a different recipe – same runny result.

Starting to lose patience attempt – increase amount of syrup – no improvement

Really annoyed attempt – increase amount of sugar – no change

The I’ve been doing this for hours now and son has gone to bed attempt – to tired to remember what I tried – this time I arc welded the ingredients to the pan.

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So my son set off to school now determined not to ask for any help at all. But at least he has the prospect of toffee apples. I promised him that I was heading to the city and would go round every single shop until I found them.

52 thoughts on “It is still runny”

  1. Ridiculous to have to thank the TA constantly esp if no one else is required to.

    We have circles of caramel you can microwave around apples to make instant ones. Probably not as good as home cooked but…

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  2. Being a teacher myself I can tell you most of the assistant teachers are incapable and under qualified to assist students with learning disabilities. Although they are employed as shadow teachers in some case but mostly they do not have the skills to facilitating learning process with students dyslexia, and autism!

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      1. Even normal teachers are not equipped for handling kids with learning disabilities. Most schools employ counselors and special education teacher who aids and tailor special lesson plans to help learning. With dyslexia generally one on one instructions don’t work. Audio visual stimuli, increased font size and lots of hands on activities work! Drawing based activities also work very well!

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  3. It really upsets me how schools are failing our children. My own son has special needs and he’s on his second school because the last one failed him so badly. I home schooled him for the rest of the year before they well and truly destroyed him. I got him into a new school and although he’s always going to need masses of support he’s doing 1000’s time better. Keep advocating for your son. Make yourself a nuisance because unfortunately that’s the only thing that seems to work!

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      2. I would be less inclined to shout (now) if the people in the system would just talk openly with us. Even if it was we have no money so what can we work out together. I’m sick of the bland promises then either is followed by no action or actions which have not been jointly agreed and are clearly more about what the system wants rather what is in the interests of the child.

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      3. I get it completely. I’ve been through more than you can imagine. I find it very difficult to trust schools now. It doesn’t help if you’re by yourself either. I’m sure they took advantage of the fact I was a single mum with no support. Don’t be afraid to do your own research and maybe look for outside support. There is charities out there that will sit in meetings with you and fight your corner. They know what schools should be doing so they can sniff out the bs and get what your son deserves.

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  4. That thank you thing sounds really annoying – especially if no one else has to say it. Valiant effort on the apples – sounds like anything I try to bake. Hope you find some and you enjoy them together to forget about the school and TA.

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  5. I’ve been an assistant in special needs classrooms, and I know it doesn’t take any special training. I think the schools should at least provide some regular training to the assistants like they do the teachers, but school systems don’t want to pay for it. I know, because my husband is a special ed teacher himself and his aides never get to go to any of the training sessions.

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    1. The frustrating thing is that our council has cut special provision and completely withdrawn services like dyslexia BUT is now rated outstanding. The NHS (who are really trying to help even though the budgets are being squeezed) have offered to go into school to provide free training – but the school only wants training on dealing with disruptive pupils.

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  7. 😀 There are some things that I just CAN’T get to turn out. Now that I haven’t the time, I only make recipes that always do.
    I hope you find them in store!

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      1. If you know someone else going through the same issues then you can go together and talk. Maybe they will realize that it’s not only you who is facing this issue but there are more. Or maybe write a letter or email and then visit. I have found that if people make enough noise, someone will take notice. Hoping that things get easier for you guys.

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  10. You’re doing a great job being a supportive parent. I know TAs are not trained but referring to the incident you described, you don’t need to be trained in special ed to put yourself in the child’s perspective. I don’t know if your son has told or wrote to the TA about how he felt? Sometimes I wonder if it’d help put things in perspective if adults/teachers hear from the student themselves and come to realise the consequences of their act on the child. Anyway, it’s just a thought I have sometimes, reflecting on my own school years. All the best!

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    1. It funny I said virtually the same thing to him. Thank you so much for confirming my view point. But he said that he did try to speak to the TA. But she threatened to give him a negative, so he just left it. I’ve asked him to try and speak to his form tutor. Failing that I can’t wait for the next parent evening – could be worth a watch….

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      1. That’s just sad to hear, unfortunately, the TA’s reaction shows that this doesn’t always work. Maybe he could try, with your help, to write a short polite note to his teacher? I hope the school would start taking your concerns seriously, at some stage, I would start to put everything down in writing to leave a paper trail. But I know you can handle this as you have a much higher EQ than me, and I know your son is lucky to have your back up. ❤

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  11. Being told that I have to be polite would actually make me not want to do it. That must be so annoying for your son.

    Out of interest, with what aspect of the work does your son need the help? I’ve found that printing work onto coloured paper can make a huge difference by lengthening the gaps between helps. I did mini tests with my dyslexic students trialling different coloured papers and inks, and pink or mid turquoise blue seem to be the biggest hits in terms of paper colour.

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      1. If your son currently uses white paper, definitely suggest to the school that they trial some colours and also use Comic Sans font on his work. (Ugly though it is, its letters are clear for those with difficulties.) Bear in mind, though, that when your son gets to external exams, the boards don’t print the exam papers on any colour but white, so, once he’s established his colour of choice, tinted specs could be an option. 👓

        And at parents’ evening I would also suggest to the school that the teaching assistant stop asking for thank you for doing things that are basically HER JOB but instead praise your son when he gives thanks spontaneously.

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  12. I wish there was a “love” button instead of just like. 😁. The toffee…I know it wasn’t funny for you at the time, but that’s exactly what I would have done. The effort is phenomenal. 🤣. Not lovely is how often schools fail our children. It always makes me so sad to hear this about our little ones.

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  13. The daughter of one of my friends was something like three if not four years behind at school because of unrecognised learning difficulties. It’s shocking how this could go unnoticed!!

    I hope your son will get better support. I teach at university level and honestly we don’t get the training or support ourselves to help our students. It is pitiful 😕.

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    1. I totally agree. Our son is one of the lucky ones, at least it has been diagnosed. Too many kids don’t even get to that stage. It took us just under 5 years of fighting to get a diagnosis. I suspect like many parents it will be left to us to try and stop the educational gap from widening.

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  14. GAH I KNOW HOW THAT FEELS. Especially with Biff in his 4K year. It’s like you can see the clash with the teacher, that she doesn’t really dig him, so she makes things just a smidge harder for him while others get passes because they’re quiet. At least he doesn’t have to deal with her anymore.

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      1. I did, yes. Biff’s teacher’s applied for Biff to have his own aid, which I do hope will turn his school time to a more positive place…assuming, of course, this aid jives with him. We can only pray and hope for now.

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      3. Ugh. Yes, that was the 4K situation for both Biff and Bash. Now the boys have such a mix of teachers and go to different rooms–having an aid wouldFINALLY ensure some consistency throughout the schoolday.

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