Am I the only person who has been infected with the crazy predictive text virus. The other day I tried to type Shaun the Sheep. Helpfully my predictive text modified that to Shave the Sheep.
Predictive text is brilliant. It usually does a wonderful job of correcting my appalling spelling and grammar. Unfortunately it is still not advanced enough to sort out my Where, were, we’re, there, their, they’re nightmares. It’s wonderful for those with dyslexia – why our son’s current school switches it off is beyond me.
So yes it is one of our great modern inventions. But mine has developed its own personality. Remember Skynet in Terminator. A slightly cunning, playful one. It does like to embarrass me.
- On an important report which went to Area Commanders it decided to call them Arse Commanders,
- I have to frequently email someone with the name Dobbs. I don’t know how many times I’ve called them Dons,
- It has issues with names. It embarrassingly drops the r from my name. A work colleague called Jock is frequently referred to as Joke. And a friend called Jono becomes Bono (wouldn’t wish that on anyone),
- Turnkey solutions becomes Turkey solutions,
- Referring to someone as a Pillock morphs into a Pill Keep,
- I entered a competition to win a big TV. Strangely I didn’t win when it changed my answer Gollum to Volume.
- Maybe the autocorrect has got used to me drinking coffee but every time I start to type the words expression or express it changes them to espresso,
- I was typing about a particular politician who I found to be very phoney. Unfortunately this came out as I found him very bony,
- It’s definitely a little morbid as it loves to change Dear to Dead,
- It clearly has a low opinion of our PM as his name always comes out as Boring Johnson,
- And yesterday while responding to a comment about Tom Jones and throwing my underpants at him. I tried to say that my underpants where Locked and loaded ready to the thrown. Oh no my predictive system changed it that to my pants where Licked and loaded. Oh the shame.