You might not believe it but this is an official Yorkshire road.

Impressive…..

The Road to …….

I live in a small bungalow with our son. Small so there is not much room to spread out. Well there is but remember it’s a boy house. Dad, Son, Mad Boy Dog, Massive Tom Cat and two Gerbils. The Gerbils are the sensible ones, but it’s all relative, they are boys as well.

So sometimes space feels at a premium. Especially when there are NO GO AREAS. Areas where LOSS still rules.

Some draws.

One half of the bed.

A wardrobe

Boxes in the loft

A pile of cds – truly awful musical choices which have 0% chance of being played

A pile of videos – we haven’t had a video recorder in 4 years

A box case.

After the funeral in 2016 I had a crazed and largely mixed up clear out. Things like clothes and shoes went to a charity shop. But some things didn’t go. No idea why. They stayed in place and remain there today almost 5 years later. Yes they get dusted but I don’t even feel comfortable doing that. So I kinda just work round those areas.

The time is coming to finally complete the clear out process. Life moves on. It’s about living today not living in the past. Free up the some space for the boys. Don’t get me wrong, it won’t be easy. The temptation will be to move out some of my stuff instead. But it has to be done. One more step down the road.

A unique road in Yorkshire.

61 thoughts on “No Go”

      2. It’s nice weather and your lawn could take it, so you could have a charity garage sale, maybe just a table with the less personal items and letting people do their thing without you out the if it suits you better, but keep checking the money tin every now and then, taking the cash in for the Red Cross or Greenpeace… 🌍

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      1. When the right moment comes, then you will know and until that moment arrives it obviously doesn’t need sorting. Trust yourself, for you will always do the right thing at the right time in the right way.

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      3. Nothing painful, for the right time will be a pleasure, something good, full of kindness and peace. Until then, it might not be time.

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  7. Slow and easy. In my personal experience, I found it better to take my time, allow the memory and then decide what to do with it. I still have some things that belonged to my late husband, most though have gone on to their next use.

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    2. I agree: Slow and easy. No rush, nothing painful. Thanking each thing with a grateful heart of being part of our lives, then letting that one-thing-at-a-time go on, to bring good things to others. I still have things that will go to others in my own time of letting them go with gratitude.

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  9. I have helped clear out houses of family members we have lost through the years. Some things were easy to get rid of, some things were not. For some reason I took my grandmother’s cookie jar – it was this odd looking dog whose head popped off when you wanted a cookie. We don’t even eat cookies! But the jar just reminded me so much of my trips to her house. I finally let it go a couple of years ago. I had boxed it and needed space. I looked at the jar and realized I was never going to forget it or what it looked like and donated it. That dog will forever be ingrained in my brain! I agree. It just takes time!

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  11. Yes, living today. That’s a good reminder for all of us. Sometimes we don’t grieve people. Sometimes we grieve things that the past never gave us. The present and future can still be filled with life. Take care of yourself. I hope you’re smiling. 💢

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  14. No, it won’t be easy, but I think it wouldn’t be easy if you waited another 20 years. You’ll get it done … take your time and let the tears come if they must. Hugs, my friend. Oh, and I LOVE the picture of that beautiful road! I’d love walking down it, or riding a bike … so many endless possibilities!

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  17. Pingback: No Go — A Dad trying to cope with the loss of his Partner and becoming a single parent. | Ups Downs Family History

  18. Understand how you feel, Gary. I am getting close to doing a clear out as well. Different situation, but same principle. I dread it but must do it and will feel so much better after.

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    1. Similar here too in these parts of Wales, where the grass grows in the middle of the lanes and sheep don’t bat an eye to us passing close by them in the car. I was here (see link below) today, driving home and thinking how just to the right of this road is where the original blue stones of Stonehenge were originally set up as a circle, then shipped all the way to Wiltshire and rearranged. Thinking about all this on the day after the solstice, of the people, the community, the effort, how they might have achieved it and the possible reasons (calendar stuff, festival, remembrance…).
      https://www.google.co.uk/maps/@51.968905,-4.7900956,3a,75y,216.13h,73.61t/data=!3m6!1e1!3m4!1sV5BHigXXms6baE_WKDv1jg!2e0!7i13312!8i6656

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  20. Definitely a difficult task but I’ll bet you will feel better once it’s accomplished. Thinking of you. 🌟💛

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