There is a new rule in England. If there is an independent body then our Prime Minister will appoint his friends to make those bodies definitely not independent. It started with BBC News. Then the media watchdogs and it’s just getting silly now. There is an independent body that advises on ethics in public life. Guess what. He has appointed an old university friend, who with Johnson was part of a notorious drinking and partying private club. That’s modern England for you.

So clearly it’s ok to appoint whoever you like to anything these days. So why don’t we all do that. What fun we can have. How easy life will be.

So here are a few of my appointments.

I would like to appoint myself as James Bond.

I would also like to appoint myself as the new Thor.

I would also like to appoint myself as the next winner of the Great British Bake Off.

I would like to appoint our family dog, Captain Chaos as my Countries Prime Minister. Far more qualified than the current numpty and our dog doesn’t lie. The Cap is also not a racist, sexist or homophobic.

I would like to appoint our family cat and gerbils as his Government.

On discussion with my son I would like to appoint Hawklad as the new Darth Vader, Head of Disney and lead guitarist of Iron Maiden.

Further appointments to follow.

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