Somedays are more tiring than others. Some days are more stressful than others. Somedays the serious words don’t come. Somedays it’s best just be silly.
It’s been too long. Actually I can hear shouts of ‘not long enough’. But here goes. It’s Terrible Poetry time. The Bad Bard is back. All thanks to Chelsea Owens Terrible Poetry contest.
This time the rules are….
- Topic: The family pet, written Golden Shovel Style. Here are the rules for the Golden Shovel: Take a line (or lines) from a poem you admire. Use each word in the line (or lines) as an end word in your poem. Keep the end words in order. Give credit to the poet who originally wrote the line (or lines). The new poem does not have to be about the same subject as the poem that offers the end words.
- The Length is up to you.
- As far as I can tell, Rhyming is up to you, too.
- Whatever, man, just make it terrible!Dredge up Fido’s memories and remains through the worst eulogy printed on Purina Puppy Chow. Set the still-living Princess Catarina howling in indignance. Send Horace the hamster spinning with rage.
- Let’s keep the Rating: PG or cleaner. How risqué do your animals get?
You have till 8:00 a.m. MST next Thursday (February 3) to submit a poem to Chelsea.
So which classic poem shall we go for. Something poetic, something beautiful, something deep, something philosophical. Let’s go for a classic opening line that ticks all those boxes. Maybe Shakespeare, maybe Blake, maybe Wordsworth. Or maybe Philip Larkin, maybe his classic ‘This be the verse’ with its uplifting first line…..
‘They F**k you up, your mum and dad’
That’s me kicked out before I even start…..
So let’s use those poetic word gems do type an ode to Captain Chaos. Let’s make it Terrible.
His best buddy is a seriously fat cat, it’s far too quiet, where are THEY
They have just pulled the curtain off the wall, what the F**K
Now it’s on the floor, covered in hairs, well Thank YOU
Captain now thinks it’s great fun to try to hump the cat, that’s seriously messed UP
Even The Cap knows you can’t end a sentence with a possessive determiner like YOUR
But he is a clever dog with a great pedigree, a beautiful white Spitz is his MUM
He gets his intelligence, looks, fluffy hair and cunning from her AND
being a right ruffian, rogue, rascal and rampantly randy from his Cocker Spaniel DAD