Look at these.

Really early for here but most welcome.

Gelbe Blumen…….

Know that feeling when someone asks you to do something way beyond your abilities… think me and hairdressing, think me and parenting, mainly me with scissors (or to be more precise, dog sheers – don’t tell Hawklad).

Well that was me last week.

I’m not very good with anything which has an engine, four wheels and a steering wheel. I can drive them just don’t ask me how they work, might as well get me to explain why Avatar is anything other than a monumental CGI bore fest. So what were WORK they thinking about when they got their numbers guy to get the three work vans fixed. I nodded vaguely as the various technical gremlins were explained. They had lost me almost immediately at ‘the bonnet release is in the passenger side footwell’. After five minutes of explanation all I could manage was

So basically those three big white things are poorly.

A few hours later I found myself at the Garage Reception with one big WHITE THING badly parked outside, I’m not a natural white van driver. I had memorised the many things making this particular van POORLY. Here goes, time to try to explain the faults to the Garage Owner.

Why was he looking like I was speaking in a foreign language confirmed when he said ‘YOU WHAT’. I started again then realised, I WAS IN FACT SPEAKING A FOREIGN LANGUAGE. The night before I had been going through my German Course and it had been rather aptly been a module called ‘CARS and key parts’. Staggeringly this muppet had tried to explain van faults in a combination of English, Yorkshire and GERMAN. Clearly this particular Garage Owner had no idea what ‘AUSPUFF’, ‘AUTOBREMSEN’ and ‘REIFEN’ meant.

At least that part of the course had sunk in with me.

Anyway I tried to tell the bemused chap about my German Course and why I clearly sounded like I was a completely crazed crackpot. I’m not sure he was that impressed.

“Not much call for German round here lad, we’ll unless you are on your holidays to the beach in somewhere like MADRID. Personally give me Scarborough….”

So much I could have said to that on the geographic location of Spain’s Capital vis-à-vis the distant coast and even more distant Germany, but wisely I bit my lip.

Part Two to follow when we throw in to the mix, sports car envy and a million year old coffee vending machine that fights back TERMINATOR style….

29 thoughts on “Der Lieferwagen

  1. I must admit to laughing (silently within) whenever a male turns to mush when confronted with the mechanical workings of ‘anything’. Seems it’s a popular belief that men should know about such things… Hahaaa…


  2. OH!!! You had me laughing trying to picture this!!! Thanks for the chuckles, dear friend!!! (For the record, I learned to hotwire a car when I was 13 years old and have always changed my own oil, done my own tuneups. Until about 10 years ago, when they computerized everything under the hood and now it’s Greek to me!)


      1. Ha ha!!! So, did you then end up having to take it to the shop, or were you able to get it done eventually? Headlights are tricky to align just right … they often end up shining straight up into the sky!


  3. Cars have always been a mystery to me. When we had to start pumping our own petrol (‘gas’) I was sure I’d mess it up. That’s how bad I am. I would love to have seen the face of the man in your fix-it shop. Maybe lots of Germans go to Spain on holiday? I have been reading books set in Germany and I don’t think I could ever get my brain around all those long words. Halfway through I would have forgotten where I was going. Good luck with the fixes!


  4. Seriously? You threw German words into your explanation… which means: you spoke broken English? 😂
    But seriously, since such a big part of my life “plays” in English, I often need to think of the German word… lol
    It was even worse shortly after we came back from our year in the US. So, I understand that… haha.


      1. So, you are a happy word collector… regardless which lanaguage the words come from… lol
        But the good thing is that you understand all of those words, otherwise you could not mix them up. Very cool!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s