Midday, perfectly sums up the Yorkshire weather currently.

In a few months, is it really coming up 9 years…..

The latest Bridget Jones movie got me thinking. Good job we didn’t see Alvin and The Chipmunks, lord knows what I’d be thinking about then. Pest control maybe 😂😂😂

That first morning, waking up and everything had changed. Who am I kidding, no sleep that night. Trying to figure out what words to say to Hawklad. Trying to get my head round the new reality. Even the house seemed changed, very different. We often talked about the house being cramped for 3 but on that morning it seemed cavernous for just two of us. It wasn’t just too much space, it was too quiet. But there was something else. Everywhere I looked I could see objects that now had no purpose.

A cup…

A plate …..

Women’s clothes, coats and shoes….

A pile of 80s pop cds

Romance books….

A toothbrush …..

Study books…..

Makeup….

Perfume….

Hair products…..

Set of car keys….

Set of house keys…

So much more…..

Everywhere I looked there was now redundant items. Items that were never going to be used again, glaring reminders of loss and bereavement. Feeling like I needed to get those items out of the house as soon as possible.

Yes some redundant items found a new life through Charity Shops but other items stayed.

It’s 2025 and there are still items scattered around the house that have no purpose anymore. Untouched in 9 years. But something has changed, redundant items now making perfect sense. Making perfect sense that they are staying exactly where they have been for years. No use, will not be used again but they have a reason to be there. The house wouldn’t feel right if they weren’t there.

34 thoughts on “Reasons”

  3. Astounding beauty in the midst of incredible heartbreak. We have two choices when faced with the reality of death – to give up or carry on. When you have a child to think of, there’s only one choice, as impossible as it feels. Such grief. Thank you for this share, Gary. ❤️

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    1. I agree, items can be helpful to navigate our way. Some items not so much. Keeping those that help is key, as is letting go of somethings that trigger negative thoughts, but maybe for a while they also help to come to terms with our losses.

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  11. It makes so much sense that items although not being used anymore are perfect where they are! I think that is an important insight you shared here, Gary 💖

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  14. This is a very sad memory, Gary, but you write it in such a beautiful and bittersweet way. I agree that so much of a home and the things inside it are contextualized by the loved ones inside it. I’m very sorry for the sad anniversary coming up and sending you all strength and love.

    PS. There’s another Alvin and the Chipmunks movie coming out?!

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  16. So I just watched the Bridget Jones new movie, and remembered that you had written a post after watching. I found the movie silly and touching. I hadn’t realized that it’s been 9 years for you… hugs… It’s strange now with what I want around and what I don’t… but there is something comforting in those old familiar items.

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