The dust is now settling on what feels like a new world. A while back Hawklad had his last bit of support from the Child Mental Health Team. As the threshold for Adult Support is so high and because there is actually no equivalent Adult service, that’s it. The need doesn’t suddenly go away as a birthday is reached, but in the UK, the service does.

It was odd, I wasn’t sure what to expect with the last appointment. Maybe a number to call if he really needs support, maybe some pointers where he could seek help, maybe a support website, a handful of support guides. But in reality it was a simple ‘best of luck’ and you will need to speak to your Doctor if you need help from now on. However Hawklad had already been warned that most Doctors support will be limited to Mindfulness Leaflet and the offer of Antidepressants.

Yes I’m concerned for Hawklad going forward but my heart really goes out to those who need way more support and suddenly find themselves cut adrift. I heard it described as a Trapeze artist who is performing a routine and suddenly finds the safety net missing. Maybe but just maybe the safety net is also there for the artist who can’t even make it onto the high wire. The artist who is struggling to even leave the house, struggling to function in daily life.

Without health support it’s down to self help, family and friends, thankfully Hawklad has some of that around him. But we need to recognise that most of us are not trained health professionals, effectively relying on a Wikipedia knowledge base. But at least it’s still support, importantly support that cares.

BUT many who are struggling are on their own, without any kind of local or specialised support. That can’t be right.

38 thoughts on “Last one”

  1. Not much to like there and yes the world is full of broken health systems. Perhaps your son will surprise everyone and require less support as he finds his people and his place in life.

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      1. With cheeto & fElon in charge here, everyone, including teens, are going to be left without any support at all.

        I read an article about an assistance school losing funding because it taught a class in transitioning to adult services. “Transition” was incorrectly flagged as gender transition, which they oppose. Funding was cut without any check, or approval of anyone.

        I hope there are abundant class action lawsuits for broken government contracts.

        I hope things somehow work out for Hawklad.

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  5. I thought it was only in the US that there were such gaps in mental health care. I am disappointed that Hawkdad’s therapist didn’t help you more in setting up an after care program and options should need arise in the future. Aftercare should consist of touching base less frequently/briefly (every 3 months or so for 5-10 minutes) to ensure he stays on track. Not doing this would be grounds for malpractice here. Not giving you options should need arise does not meet the standard of care. Can you ask for a more effective after care plan? I am so sorry this is happening to both of you. Wish I could advocate for you.

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  6. I share the hopes expressed by @Suzanne and @Nancy. I’ve always felt that you understood your boy way better than anyone. As such, I feel it’s you who needs carer support but I guess if there’s none for your son, likely none for you as well. I join my prayers to the many being said for you and your beloved boy. Today, I came across a superb quote:
    Every miracle in the Bible began with a problem. May this problem end in a miracle for the both of you, Gary💙

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      1. It is interesting how many people with various conditions are now acting. There are several featuring those with autism. One series we have enjoyed is Patience on Channel 4. Whilst I am not suggesting this would be right foe Hawklad the main character is herself autistic.

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  13. It is an appalling state of affairs given that such problems appear to be on the increase. It is a failure of government. Here in the States where chaos is now widespread, anyone with any sort of issue faces serious challenges. Just being diabetic can be ruinous. No, it can’t be right.

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  14. I hope Hawkland and you find the support you need during this new phase of adulthood. Perhaps you both will be vehicles for changing this broken system. Unfortunately it’s, in many ways, a global issue.

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  15. Such backwards thinking and planning on your governments part. Services can help stave off issues and challenges down the road that can be potentially a higher cost for governments. I so wish there was a different way, Gary.

    You’re doing your best with what you have and I am sure Hawklad feels appreciative for all that you do for him! 💕🙏

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  16. I am in the US. I have found myself doing well enough to go out of counseling and then years later found myself back at counseling again. I don’t think there is anything wrong with it. Hawklad just needs to be so aware that he may need to go back to another counselor or even telehealth counselor for someone to talk to. I personally think Grief Group Therapies are great. As long as he knows, and you know, that there’s always an opportunity and it’s ok to go back to therapy again.
    Is it difficult and / or expensive there to see a therapist, like a licensed counselor?
    However, I think you should be patting yourself on the back at being the excellent parent who is open to helping your hawklad get into therapy after the loss, and always there to be the net shall he slip; Now that he is about grown you may have to be one another’s.

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  17. No, my friend, it isn’t. It so isn’t. But Hawklad has you, and YOU are a blessing to be thankful for. xxxxxx

    I’ve a colleague transitioning into that same boat, too. Her son will be aging out of the special education of their school system, and with that, they’ll essentially be on their own. Because of his place on the spectrum, he *needs* a regular amount of support, and she’s at a loss on what to do.

    It sucks, and it should not at all be this way.

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