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Happier Dream World

As Stars Wars would tell you, balance is so important. So to balance out the very dark dream our son had a while back – The Dream, I will touch on a regular happier place his dreams take him. It’s a world world of talking animals who interact fully with the human world. He has memorised virtually ever dream and story to the finest detail – he must have hundreds of these stored up. Each individual dream/story forms an arc which then links into the ongoing overall narrative. Each character has been given a unique character and mainly live in Africa.

Mr Mole – A very wise mole who does not have a bad bone in his body. A legendary baker whose cakes are known world wide. Also happens to be the slowest driver in the world. Possesses a sneeze so powerful it can blow him instantly to different parts of the world.

Mr Cheetah – Loves eating Mr Moles cakes. As a result he is very unfit. Claims to be the fastest thing on the planet. Mr Moles best friend who gets increasingly frustrated with his slow driving.

Mrs Cheetah – Super athletic. Healthy eating guru. Is the fastest land creature in the world. Rumour has it that she is one of the worlds best spies.

Mr Crocodile – Complete coward. Scared of everything. Always forgetting things. A vegetarian. Normally if something has gone wrong the root cause is one of Mr Crocodiles many accidents.

Mrs Crocodile – Lives with Mr Crocodile. Very nice. But gets very cross with Mr Crocodile. Can wield her shopping bag like a samurai.

Mr Lion – Brave but can’t be separated from his beloved teddy bear.

Mr Peregrin – Fastest creature on the planet. One of the worlds superheroes.

Wise Old Owl – She is the worlds greatest mind. Hard to find – usually involves a world quest.

Derick – A Pine Martin. Distinguished thief. Very heroic. Has successfully stolen the U.K. Crown Jewels and replaced them with chocolate replicas – not been discovered yet.

Olive – The legendary Ostrich Opera singer. Always wanting to sing. A voice so powerful that it frequently causes structural damage.

Mr Elephant – Inventor of the number 1 most ecologically friendly mode of world transport. The Elephant catapult. The catapult can launch any creature, any item with unnerving accuracy and safety to any desired location. The only recurring fault is that an occasional miss fire lands something very heavy onto Mr King Cobra.

Mr King Cobra – Tries to be an evil hunter however every time he tries to hunt accidents happen to him. Often it’s a miss firing Elephant catapult dumping either an animal or luggage on top of him.

Mr Honey Badger – Very very bad tempered. Likes to be left alone while watching game shows on the TV.

Oliver and Kevin. An owl and a parrot. Best friends. Very very stupid. Renowned for offering really daft advice. However eventually the advice somehow manages to work out well.

Mr Camel and Mr Dromedary – The most boring creatures in the universe. So boring that they are terrifying. They happen to be best friends who are always at war.

Mr Bulldog – A police officer who can’t catch criminals but is very lovely and believes that everybody is good.

Mrs Zebra – Is the friend to so many famous actors, sports stars and musicians. They often visit for a lovely cup of tea and a chat. One problem her cooking is awful. It’s officially listed as weapons grade.

Mr Zebra – Tries to invent increasingly inventive ways to avoid eating Mrs Zebra’s cooking.

Mr Baboon – Claims to be a world famous wrestler but usually ends up hurting his back if he tries to do any activity so prefers to sit watching telly.

Grandpa Baboon – Oldest creature on the planet. Very fit and a bit of a daredevil.

Arnold the Armoured Chicken – A doomsayer always preparing for war which never comes.

Mr Kangaroo – Owner of the worlds largest pizza empire. Renowned pizza chief. Will only employ individuals who have a bouncy personality. Gordon Ramsay did work for him once but was released for being too much of an introvert.

So many more characters, but I think you get the picture.

Each dream/story arc is different but always has a happy ending and portrays a world full of hope and mysteries. Countries don’t exist just a global community of humans and animals working together. Yes some villains exist but the underlying hope is that good exists in all and just needs to be unlocked. So often the stories are about searching for the ‘keys’ to unlock the underlying goodness. The other key themes for this self contained world are

  • every individual is different. In this world individuality is treasured,
  • everyone experiences friendship
  • no one is without purpose
  • Bad things/sad things happen sometimes but there is always someone there to help or be that friend. Happiness is always just round the corner
  • Everybody is a hero at some stage
  • Good always wins out

Maybe, just maybe it should be our world to.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 25 Comments

Warriors

Just a quick post.

This morning our son really didn’t want to go to school today. At one stage he enquired about starting his gap year – now. Facing a science test about cells and he is really worried about having to read or spell words like cytoplasm. But he got on the bus. I remember thinking my little hero.

A couple of hours later I read a great post about another little warrior. Please check it out. Says it so much better than me.

Needless fear

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 48 Comments

Thespian Advice

First up apologies for yesterday’s school rant. Probably suffering from Toffee Appleitis. It was heart felt but probably did come across as a bit of a winging parent. I suspect it might not be my last moan but I will try to keep a lid on it for the post.

The Toffee Apple update was quite positive. I did manage to find one rather sad looking specimen which apparently was quite tasty. While he was at school I moved away from the high science of Toffee to the more accessible chocolate approach. Chocolate is so much easier than Toffee – it falls within my very limited cooking range.

Chocolate Apple – success. Then the success went to my head – chocolate dipping anything I could find. Grapes, strawberries, banana, pineapple and melon. At one stage we had chocolate spectacles – but that was just an unintentional fumble. With the exception of the glasses – all chocolate covered items happily consumed.

After the chocolate eating fest our son brought up school and in particular drama. Apparently the class had a drama test which consisted of reading a script. No reading help was provided. When I asked how he coped his response was

“I couldn’t read the words but I didn’t panic, I just remembered the advice you gave me about drama”

This worried me on two counts. One I can’t remember any such advice and secondly the only thing I’m worse at than cooking is the performing arts. My only two ventures into the performing arts during my life have hardly been inspiring.

1) At school my class was entered into a singing competition. My signing was so bad that the teacher told me to stand at the back and just mime. I remember how he put it “for gods sake don’t sing or were buggered”.

2) A bit further down my educational journey I “performed” in the year end play. That year it was Julius Caesar. I was given the role of a centurion with one job. Stand on a podium (chair) and shout “hail Caesar”. Unfortunately on the big night I got a tad excited. I managed to let out a bellowing “Haiiiiiiiiiii” as I feel backwards off the chair, pulling most of the back curtain down.

So with trepidation I asked my son exactly what advice I had given him.

“You told me that if I had to do any acting and I didn’t know what to do then you should pretend to be a famous actor. Pretend to be someone like Christopher Lee playing Dracula”. ### he once watched a documentary about Christopher Lee’s career when he was appearing in Lord of the Rings and loved the Dracula bit ####

“So I just pretended to be Dracula stalking round the stage not saying a word. I later found out that it was some romantic stuff I was supposed to read”.

I couldn’t get the image of this vampire like figure stalking round the stage when they were expecting something more akin to Laurence Olivier or Colin Firth. Seconds later we were both in tears of laughter.

So in summary I can’t rule out future blog moans but I can categorically rule out any form of thespian advice.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 52 Comments

It is still runny

Over the last couple of days our son has been even more disillusioned with school. School is still not being proactive which any support – he has to ask for help rather than have it incorporated into the teaching program. Some of the kids poke fun at him when he has to out his hand up for help. To make things worse now when he does ask for help the Teaching Assistant now ends the help by saying “now I’ve helped you what do you say”. Every single time our son has to thank the Teaching Assistant. Now I try to stress the importance of being polite but in this case….. From the sound of it the other kids are not asked to say thank you when they put their hand up for help – just our son when he needs some text reading out. Why single out the dyslexic child. Surely the Teaching Assistant can see that the kids poke even more fun when he says thank you.

Maybe it just my tired state anyway…

Last night to try and cheer him up I asked what might help make him happier. The answer – Toffee Apples.

So we set off to the local shop to find they had sold out. Only one option – make them myself – surely it can’t be that difficult. Silly old sausage.

First attempt (following recipe to the letter) would not set.

Next attempt – increase the temperature – even more runny, will not set.

Another attempt – decrease the temperature – annoyingly still as runny, will not set.

Yet another attempt – try a different recipe – same runny result.

Starting to lose patience attempt – increase amount of syrup – no improvement

Really annoyed attempt – increase amount of sugar – no change

The I’ve been doing this for hours now and son has gone to bed attempt – to tired to remember what I tried – this time I arc welded the ingredients to the pan.

*************

So my son set off to school now determined not to ask for any help at all. But at least he has the prospect of toffee apples. I promised him that I was heading to the city and would go round every single shop until I found them.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 25 Comments

Thanksgiving Tag

I was given a Thanksgiving Grateful Blessed tag by MOM LIFE WITH CHIARI. THANK YOU. If I remember my school history lesson -Thanksgiving although a North American holiday has links with England and its Reformation times. On a much much less grand scale we have our Harvest Festivals. I’ve now completely exhausted my Thanksgiving schooling. Doesn’t say much for our education system or more likely my day dreaming tendencies during lessons.

Rules:

1. List your thankful ABC.

2. Add one theme clip art to your post.

3. Tag 3 people who’d you hope would participate.

My Tags (only do this if you want to)

Cosmic Observations

JeanLeesWorld

Blog of a useless mother

My thankful ABC

A – Aspergers/Autism… thankful for the light and inspiration they bring to our world

B – Batman …. for providing an endless source of present options

C – Carl … Carl Sagan – his vision his philosophy his humanity

D – Dreams … we can still dream

E – Earth … Still a beautiful planet

F – Family and Friends … thank you

G – Grief … For constantly reminding me what a privilege it was to have such a beautiful partner

H – Hope … Hope provides a light to guide our path

I – Imagination … So thankful for my son’s imagination – the most amazing thing I’ve ever come across.

J – Journey … Thankful to my parents for stressing that life should be seen as a journey not a race

K – Kiss … Still thankful for every single kiss with my partner

L – Love … thankful for the years of love I enjoyed with my partner

M – Music … so important to so many people

N – Natural World … such beauty such diversity such balance – shows us the way

O – Oceans … a constant reminder of how little we know about our planet

P – Pets … the source of so much joy

Q – Questions …. I know I am the luckiest person alive to be asked all those wonderful questions our son fires at me.

R – Rollercoaster … I’m so thankful I got off that last rollercoaster still attached to all my limbs and backside. Sorry to the family sat behind me who learnt so many new words.

S – Son … my life

T – Trampoline … the Trampoline never fails to bring a smile to our son’s face

U – Umbrellas … Living in Yorkshire I am eternally thankful to the person who invented umbrellas

V – Vegetables … Thankful for vegetables for making my diet much more healthy

W – Wrestling … Wrestling was the only thing which consistently provided an escape to our son during those darkest days

X – x … thankful for the inclusion of x in the alphabet, essential for people like me when buying clothes …. X Large.

Y – Yogi … thankful to Yogi Bear, I loved that bear when I was a toddler

Z – Zoo … I am thankful for every Zoo trip which have so much joy to our son.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 73 Comments

Almost perfect

Yesterday was one of those almost perfect days. Everything went to plan. An early walk through autumnal parkland. Stunning colours. Early enough that we had the place to ourselves. No need for anxious glances at strangers. A wonderful wide ranging conversation with no distractions.

If you had one of the escaped Jurassic World dinosaurs, how would you disguise it when you took it for a walk?

Why is the Easter Bunny a rabbit and not a mole or lamb or donkey?

Why do footballers dive?

Can you hear explosions in space?

Who would win a battle between a 30ft T-Rex and a 30ft John Cena?

Is there anything in the world that Bear Grylls wouldn’t eat? Could it be Brussel Sprouts?

How would we cope if numbers had not been invented?

Then a day at home. No phone calls. No knocks at the door. No visitors in the neighbours gardens, A day filled with trampolines, playing ball with the dog, Top Trumps, Lego building, water pistol fights and an old ScoobyDoo movie.

A completely relaxed and contented son. No anxiety. No meltdowns. No worries about fitting in. Just happy and laughing.

I said it was almost perfect. Just two improvements.

I just wish his mum was here to join in. And…

It’s a privilege to spend such quality time with my son. I can’t think of anything else I would rather do. But I just wish one day that I can look out of the window and see our son having a similarly wonderful time …. playing regularly with someone his age. Not having to play with his boring old dad. With someone he can call his best friend. That would be the perfect day.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 99 Comments

So fast

Once again in the wonderful, wacky world of parenting you get another curveball question.

“Dad I know a man can love a man or a woman or be single … are there any other options”.

I’m sure the response to that question was on page 675 of the parenting manual. I wish……

I don’t know how many times I have heard the line, “kids grow up so fast”. That is so true. What happened to the Teletubby or BananaSpilts questions. What happened to the where does Spongebob live. I could answer them.

Then you look at the pets. It only seemed yesterday when we had two lovely, friendly kittens – who just played with a ball of wool all day. Now they rip the curtains off the wall and are top of the food chain in our part of the world.

Or the dog, once so cute and shy. Spending his time snuggling up to cuddly toys. Now currently caked in mud last seen trying to dig his way to Australia.

Yes I dream of days gone by now. Happier times. Simpler times. Safer times. But as much I dream those days are just memories now. So back to today. Where is that parenting manual, where is page 675, and where is that answer to that question.

Sorry sorry sorry – I suspect this post was just a poor excuse to show some cute baby animal photos.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 33 Comments

I want that hat

Halloween update.

Just finished watching ParaNorman. My son loves the film. It makes him cry but also laugh. I think the themes of being an outcast and loss resonate with him. It does the same to me.

Mr Trumper the Party Pumpkin has lost his hat. The puppy kept wagging his tail, going crazy and knocking the pumpkins party hat off. Eventually we gave up and tried the hat on the dog. Dog is currently trotting around the house like he is the bees knees. Got to find Trumper a new hat, don’t want him losing his temper. Not on Halloween.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 74 Comments

Halloween

We have some odd pets. This time it’s the big boy cat. For some strange reason as soon as we light the candle, the boy cat has to sit next to the pumpkin. If we move the pumpkin, the cat follows. Last year he did the same. Bizarre.

Halloween can be an odd time for our son. Before the world changed he loved the whole Halloween experience. Making the scariest pumpkin possible. But after his mum died it took on a different meaning. In his eyes it became a transition date. The cross over between the time he associates with death and funerals to the period of happiness and life. Over the last two years the period running up to Halloween has brought 3 major deaths – probably 3 out of the 4 closest family members. The period after Halloween brings fireworks, Christmas and anniversary of welcoming the mad dog into the family.

Halloween has now evolved into a mix of reflection for what has gone and for a celebration of happier times. Hence the pumpkin has now moved from the scariest possible to a sort of party boy. This is no bad thing.

Maybe the cat is waiting for the party to start. Waiting for ‘Trumper’ to start the festivities. I didn’t ask my son why he called this years pumpkin, Mr Trumper. I assume it’s because of the trumpet like thing in his mouth – can’t possibly think of anything else that the pumpkin could be named after….

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Blogging Award

I’ve been nominated for the blogging award. Thank you to Racheal’s Novels, it’s a really interesting blog.

Rules: NONE!

I thought it would be a good idea to ask my son to answer these. Let’s see his take on the world.

QUESTIONS TO ANSWER

  1. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? I hope I can read in 5 years. Having friends. Maybe I might try to go to university. But most of all I hope I’m on my gap year in 5 years.
  2. If you could go to the moon for free, would you? Yes but only if I’m allowed to see what’s on the dark side.
  3. What is your biggest fear? Cows and giraffes. I’m scared of people laughing at me.
  4. In what do you find yourself more brave than others? I’m braver than dad in everything. I’m brave with animals apart from cows and giraffes. I’ve hugged a python. Would love to hold deadly spiders or swim with a great white shark.
  5. If you could have one non pet as a pet (and it wouldn’t be dangerous), what would it be? I would love a Peregrin Falcon. I’ve held a few. When they look at you it seems like they get me. I would love a dinosaur
  6. What makes you peaceful and what makes you nervous? Loud rock music makes me peaceful. Lots of things make me nervous, especially people.
  7. What is one of your qualities which could be positive for most but negative for others? I think my Aspergers scares lots of people. They don’t understand it. It makes me different. Maybe some people like that but some don’t.
  8. Which country would you visit just for the food? Switzerland has chocolate and pizza.
  9. Do you remember your first kiss? Do you want to share the story? Not kissed anyone yet. Don’t like people getting that close to me. However my puppy is allowed to kiss me as long as he has not been smelling the cats.
  10. What was your most embarrassing moment? It’s usually my dad. When school made our class have to read out a poem at the Christmas play. I couldn’t read it.
  11. Do you prefer blinds or curtains? Like both as the shut the world out.

BLOG MENTIONS- my son wanted dinosaurs related ones and the same questions asking as he liked these (if they want to have a go)

Silence killed the Dinosaurs

Matthew Wright

Amdall Gallery

Jasmine Eclipse