Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 32 Comments

Investment Opportunity

Oh if they only sold chips in that size packets in the shops. That would be an opportunity I could not turn down…..

Everyone likes an investment opportunity with a great rate of return. I came across one yesterday, thanks to the helpful news reports. The news agencies are reporting that Lord Brownlow offered to pay £58k to cover the costs of the Prime Ministers controversial flat makeover. The thoughtful Lord can afford it as he has a net worth of over £250 million. In addition to his generous makeover offer he has also donated £3 million to the Governing Party and some of its MPs.

Now here’s the investment opportunity. Since 2017 the Government has awarded Lord Brownlow £120 Million in public contracts. So invest just over £3million and then receive £120 million. That’s a tidy investment return…

So maybe we can club together. Look for coins behind the sofa. Check those pockets. Raise a few million then give it to the UK Government or maybe donate it to the Prime Minister so he can buy a few more £850 per roll wallpaper. Then we start to rake in the money from the government contracts that come our way. We might even get to call ourself a Lord or Baroness……

That’s a plan…….

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 54 Comments

Nothing to see here

I was reading a news article about home schooling during the lockdown. A government politician was quoted as saying basically that all children needed to be in the classroom. No exceptions. Pupils discipline and grades had deteriorated during lockdown. Homeschooling could never work properly.

Ok so the last year must have a write off for Hawklad

Well let’s think about that…… Over the last year his grades have gone UP. So well that he was moved up sets. Look at his best subject. A year ago he could talk for days about British medieval history. He could name and describe every English monarch. He could talk well about Roman history. A year later he can still do that but now listen to him confidently talk American, European and Chinese history. Listen to him talk about recent world history, Classical Greek times…. you get the picture.

He’s expanded his knowledge on the animal kingdom.

He’s getting great marks now in English Literature. Macbeth, Animal Farm are well within his grasp.

A year ago we were fighting to get him support for his dyslexia. He needed assistance to read even the simplest text. A year at home and he hardly ever needs to ask for help with reading. He can do it himself. Yes he has to skip some words but now he can read articles on line. He can read books now. Slowly yes, but read definitely. 7 years of classroom teaching and he’s made the leap forward at HOME.

I’m no superman. No Yoda. No expert in teaching. Watch me look blankly in most subjects. I’m a bang average parent. Homeschooling has just suited Hawklad. He’s more relaxed. Can pace around. Can jump around subjects. Take breaks. Look at things he wants to. No pressure asking questions, no anxiety putting his have up in front of an overcrowded classroom. It just works for him.

Here’s the thing, the traditional classroom will suit some children. But not everyone. So why do THEY force all kids through the same hoops. Through the same moulds. Through the same exam routes. If the last 12 months has taught us anything it’s that we need to cater for all children. One path just isn’t enough.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 65 Comments

Butterfly

Open view

I had an odd feeling looking across at this view. The view never really changes except for the weather. It struck me that while so much has changed for me. So much has happened. So much has been lost. Dreams have been extinguished. I guess they continue to be extinguished. Yet look at this view and the world stays the same. What happened to me is as significant to the world as a single butterfly flapping or not flapping its wings.

It was such a sobering thought. Suddenly felt alone. Isolated. Insignificant. Do I matter.

But I guess there is two ways to take this. I could just accept this. Doesn’t really matter if I just plod on for the rest of my life. OR. Being insignificant doesn’t stop the butterfly flying. Ok I’m insignificant but I can still fly. Still grow old disgracefully. As it doesn’t really matter so might as well try to push that boat out. Do some of that living. See what else is out there.

The second approach does sound way better to me….

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 106 Comments

I don’t get….

There are many things in life that I DON’T GET.

  • I don’t get U2
  • I don’t get Car hill Starts and reverse parking
  • I don’t get Beetroot or Cauliflower or Brussels Sprouts
  • I don’t get why Avatar was so popular and I certainly don’t get why you would start to make several sequels of it
  • I don’t get sewing
  • I don’t get why parents don’t get daily free chocolate as a pick me up
  • I don’t get why Captain Scarlett never ended up being as big as The Thunderbirds
  • I don’t get rhubard
  • I don’t get why the brilliant Stephen Fry has never been cast as James Bond
  • I don’t get baking
  • I don’t get how Princess Leia could suddenly fly in space
  • I don’t get why William Shatner never followed Ronald Reagan into the Whitehouse
  • I don’t get Brexit
  • I don’t get why anyone would vote for a political party led by Boris Johnson
  • I don’t get why DC never used the hit song Holding out for a Hero as the theme for Superman
  • I don’t get how people can read the 1000 odd pages of Stephen Kings ‘IT’ and honestly claim they have the faintest idea what is going on
  • I don’t get why how Alvin and the Chipmunks gets multiple movies yet the Penguins of Madagascar only get a solitary one
  • I don’t get Pop Tarts
  • And I certainly don’t get why a supermarket gluten free bread loaf is half the size and 6 times the price of a standard loaf

But I do get somethings. I get beauty when I see it. I definitely get why I stopped the car in this lane to take this photograph.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 44 Comments

Rickety

There’s always been a tree house we occasionally pass around here. Never seen anyone ever up there. Probably a good thing looking at how rickety it’s looking these days. But if there is ever a great flood I might just give it a go.

Currently getting through the day on zero sleep. Even watching Avatar didn’t work last night. After an hour no sleep was coming and I was bored out of my mind. So it was time to give up. At least I’ve maintained my record of never being able to sit through one complete viewing of that movie. Sorry I just don’t get it at all…..

Homeschooling is feeling very rickety this morning.

No information or class material for maths. So we guessed the subject. I tried to teach probability. That’s TRY. Remember no sleep…..

Then for French we did get a pack to work through the only problem was that it seemed like it was in a foreign language…….

Then Science. Absolutely nothing. Going to sound old here. But in my day they split science up into separate Chemistry, Physics and Biology. They never met….. At least you knew what subject the teacher was wittering on about. Now it’s Science. So when you get no support you end up even having to guess which branch of science to look at. In the end we plumped for Physics. Just because it’s my better subject. I them mumbled my way through trying to teach wave theory.

Is it bad to say I’m ready for bed already and it’s only lunch time.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 46 Comments

Cracks

How easy is it to slip through the cracks.

It took too many years to get any support and help for Hawklad. A lot of important time during his key development years were missed. He was labelled with the following tags and descriptions…

A loner

Below average attainment

Having issues

Poor concentration

Under performer

Some discipline issues

Can’t sit still

Clumsy

Accident prone

Messy eater

Untidy

Behind national targets

Easily distracted

Needs to work on the basics

Does he need better discipline at home

Then it all changed when a group of Doctors and education experts finally issued a medical letter confirming

Aspergers

ADHD

Dyslexia

Dyspraxia

To get there was a nightmare. Yes it felt like a never ending slog. An ordeal. Constantly fighting the system. You end up doubting yourself. Are we just being pushy parents. Should we just fall back into line.

In the end our son was one of the lucky ones. Too many great kids don’t get the chance to shine. Wrote off. Misunderstood. They never get the support they need because they fell through the cracks in the system. A system which still has such poor levels of awareness, too many stereotypes, too few resources in specialised services.

It shouldn’t be like this.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 35 Comments

Blue sky or not blue sky

Sunshine, blue sky, dark cloud, storm clouds, dry, rain, snow, bright, dark.

That Yorkshire sky really sums up perfectly my mood levels since lockdown started. It’s a bit of everything really. Swinging from smiles to tear. Feeling full of the joys of spring to darkest winter coldness. Optimistic then pessimistic. Feeling contented then feeling boxed in. Calm then anxious. At ease with the world then frustrated.

Emotional never ending tides.

Yesterday I was fighting the tears. Life seemed bleak and so restrictive. Definitely feeling cut adrift, isolated and alone.

Yet today I can’t stop smiling. Ok life feels constrained but it also feels good. Filled with HOPE and WONDERFUL thoughts. Most definitely not feeling alone rather feeling part of a BEAUTIFUL world.

Ask me yesterday and I would say what am I doing. Today it’s WE can do this.

I’m the same person, I’ve not moved, I’ve not won the money lottery. No person or no asset has entered my world. So why the swing in mood. Could it be that we are permanently riding those emotional waves. Swings in outlook are to be expected. Good moments, bad moments. Maybe the secret is to look at each day. What are the things that weigh me down and try to do something about those. Then most importantly work out what are the things that lift me up so much. If you can identify those things (maybe it’s just one important thing) then keep trying to move towards those wonderful things in life.

Yes WE can do this.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 53 Comments

Sporting life

As penance for being one of life’s great numpties I started supporting one of the world’s worst football teams. Think more soap opera than bastion of sporting greatness. But every week 52000 other lost souls descend on this place for our regular fix of mayhem and snatching defeat from the jaws of victory.

Decades of never missing a match.

Then things changed.

Single parenting and getting my priorities right.

Trips to St James Park reduced in number. Restricted to those days I can borrow my friends ticket and I can convince Hawklad to endure 90 minutes of torture. Restricted to days when Hawklad will visit my sister for an afternoon.

Then a pandemic hit. Trips stopped completely. The last visit was September 2019.

And that was for a rugby international and a group of seats that high up we were in the Jet Stream.

It’s a changed world. Changed domestic situation. Will I get to see the useless team again. I’m not entirely sure, maybe not for a few years. I guess that’s life.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 52 Comments

Motorway

A typical Yorkshire motorway. Plenty of overtaking options. Having said that. One stray and stubborn sheep and it can grind to a halt really quickly.

I was reading an article about a sales executive and how her life has changed during the pandemic. A year ago she would get up at 6am. Grab a breakfast, fill up the reusable plastic mug with coffee and head off to work. She would then spend 2 hours trying to drive 20 miles on a clogged up 8 lane motorway. She would then work her socks off for 10 hours, maybe finding a few minutes to grab a sandwich. She would get back home just before 9pm brain dead. A year later it’s home working and a life. Getting just as much done work wise, but on her terms and allowing her to better enjoy life.

Apparently home working is bad for the country. Our hardworking, sartorially perfect and completely honest PM describes home working as ‘time off’, ‘slacking’ and bad for Britain. We all need to do our civic duty get back into the office.

Thankfully I am one of those Britain’s who think Boris Johnson is a self serving, dishonest clown.

Home working doesn’t suit everybody. But in the same way tradition office working doesn’t suit everyone. It’s down to each person, each family to work out what best works for them. Hopefully they can then find a way to follow that route. Life is not just about working and sleeping. It’s also about LIVING. To the likes of that prat Johnson that doesn’t matter. That’s why he keeps going on about Victorian Values. A time when the few lived and enjoyed the fruits of other peoples sacrifices. A time when the majority just existed. That sales executive. Me. You. Your neighbour. We all should get an opportunity to do some of that living. To find a life that best works for them.

My switch to home working was forced on me by circumstance but it’s one of the best things that has happened to me. It is NOT slacking. It is about finding that a better work/life balance for those it suits.

I wouldn’t give up that Yorkshire motorway for one of those 10 lane beasts. Not even for the PM.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 57 Comments

Leaning

One of the first things you notice living in the hills is that you don’t get many poles that are straight up. There is always a bit of a lean to them. Nowt wrong with that. It feels like I’ve had a bit of a lean for years.

There is a really apt song line that Roger Waters wrote a few years back.

You lean to the left but you vote to the right.

This morning I read a work email exchange. One guy was saying that he had voted for Brexit because it seemed cool but hadn’t voted for higher food prices and more expensive import taxes. He certainly hadn’t voted for the nightmare it had become to own his time share in Spain.

Ok…..

Maybe its just me. 😳

But I guess we all do a bit of that lean to the left but vote to the right thing.

I’m not immune to that. As a kid I fell in love with football. What an exciting game it could be if I picked a great team. I then picked Newcastle United to support. If I liked football so much why did I pick that bunch of numpties.

Then there was a time when I was a fully paid up member of CND. Proud owner of the ban the bomb T-shirt. I picked what look like a really interesting University option. All went well until I found out where my option was based. The National Atomic Weapons Research Facility…… I’m not making that up. How on earth did I get through the vetting.

But it goes much wider. I wanted desperately to be a parent but not sure I would have initially voted to be a single parent. Definitely not this way.

So I guess there are times when things are out of our control. Life happens. But there are times when it is down to our decisions, our actions. If that happens you just have to own the consequences….