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Today

DEEP BREATHS – MOVE ON

Grief is a double edged sword. Yesterday felt like repeated thrusts to the heart. Focusing on what has been lost. That ‘why did it happen to me’ feeling. Everything reminded me of the loss. That video. Sad songs. Radio advertising – anything from where to go for your romantic Christmas meal to the perfect present for your loved one. Her favourite painting. Her favourite cat. That empty bed.

The walk, the wet walk did help a bit. It did help me get focused and ready for our son.

Today I’ve experienced the other side of the grief sword. The positive side. Now the focus is on how privileged I am. Even someone like me was able to experience 16 golden years. Romance. So many happy memories. A beautiful, perfect son. Grief is really everlasting love. That is something which can’t be lost.

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One Million Minutes

For the first time in years I sat with my laptop doing some admin with breakfast TV on. I don’t know why, maybe the house just seemed too quiet. Then it all changed.

The TV programme showed an advert in support of a campaign to help lonely people in the U.K. – 1 Million Minutes. Within two minutes I was a flood of tears and a world of pain. I hadn’t realised the advert was about people who had lost love ones. Bearing in mind I cried watching an Indiana Jones movie. This took it it a whole new level. I’m still really shaky an hour later. Just thank god our son didn’t watch it. Not really sure why I’m sharing this or what I’m wittering on about. I think it probably shows the enduring power of love. Going to take the dog for a very long walk.

The video link is below.

http://youtu.be/AKLWE2bCYpQ

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Mr Men

This is the best the weather has managed since the strange yellow disk appeared yesterday morning. A brief thinning of the clouds then the darkness descends and it just rains and rains and rain. This is not good for the soul. Another thing which is not good for the soul is football.

I have taken a punt and bought two tickets for my teams next match on Sunday. It’s a bit of a lottery taking our son to a game. He would really enjoy it if it was just the two of us in the crowd. Unfortunately it will be 52000 in the crowd. We turn up at the stadium and see how he feels. If he shakes his head we scrap the football and head towards the river so he can do some Pokemon Go hunting. However sometimes he’s ok to give it a go and when he gets inside the stadium he enjoys the atmosphere. Never been able to pinpoint why we get the different reactions. So fingers crossed for Sunday.

Apart from the atmosphere he loves watching the Mr Men show. That’s not referring to my alleged football team but my reaction to the game. Our son says it’s about getting the popcorn in and then watching his dad go through the characters in the Mr Men show.

Entering Stadium – Dad is going to watch the game MR HAPPY

Trying to find the seats – Dad always gets lost MR FORGETFUL

Start of the match – Dad very nervous MR JELLY

Few minutes into the game – team started ok MR CHEERFUL

Game starting to go downhill – team starting to struggle MR WORRY

Team now losing – team playing badly MR GRUMBLE

Team now getting hammered – Dad getting annoyed MR GRUMPY

Team clearly going to lose again – Dad getting VERY annoyed MR RUDE

Team lost – left stadium Dad needs to eat lots of food to cheer up MR GREEDY

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Ops broken it

Probably because I’ve been hitting the keys too hard but for some reason I’m not getting any notification emails from the blog. So I’m not getting any prompts about what everyone is doing. Just seemed to have completely stopped and my email system hasn’t moved them into the junk folder. Looking at the possible solutions the last one is to unfollow everyone then start refollowing. So if you see me unfollow you it’s nothing you have done – it’s down to my ineptness and I will refollow.

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Strange Yellow Thing

The morning started as has the last 5 days have – grey, wet and cold.

The school bus was missed yesterday morning – never a good sign. We slightly overslept, only by a few minutes but…. Sticking to the established routine is so important to our son. Routine is king. I tried to stick to the plan but just slightly quicker. It was never going to work. I could sense the tension building within him so we just went back to the usual routine. So we missed the bus. It’s not a disaster it’s only a 15 minute car journey to school. Plus it’s one less bus trip for him to deal with.

On the way back from school a very odd thing happened. The clouds parted and a strange yellow disk appeared in the sky. I don’t know what it was (remember this is Yorkshire) but it was lovely to see. With this being Yorkshire the strange yellow disk disappeared behind grey clouds thirty minutes later.

Update. Looking out into the pouring rain this morning – even too wet for the dog – I am confidently predicting the strange yellow disk has packed his bags and won’t be appearing here anytime soon.

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Animals

Our son has a bond with animals. He feels so comfortable with them. As he says “they might occasionally want to eat you but they never ever try to judge you”. Our local zoo gives you the opportunity to interact with some of the animals. As long as we go early, before the crowds arrive, then he is in raptures. The looks we get as we leave just as most families are queuing up to get in.

Dad was brave on the photo above and managed to get close enough to take a picture. On encounters with snakes, tarantulas and reptiles you normally find Dad a respectful 100 yards away – with at least two walls between me and the stuff of my nightmares. A few weeks ago he got to handle a cotton snake, a bearded Chinese dragon and two tarantulas. He was just so happy. Strangely dad was hid behind a wall.

For all his confidence with these terrifying animals he does have a couple of beast fears. Strangely those two killer beasts I am really brave with and would happily stroke them. 🐄 Cows and 🐪 camels.

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Moon Lander

If there was ever a competition for the most inept computer gamer on the planet – then get all your money on me. I am beyond useless. My latest gaming disaster involves trying to land a command module onto the moon. When you look up at the moon tonight just remember most of those craters you can see are down to me.

Pressure was on, son looking over my shoulder. Looking good then panic and yet another smoking crater formed.

“Dad I’ve found the perfect job for you. NASA have started crashing space crafts into the surface of planets. Cassini was smashed into Saturn. You would be the perfect remote pilot. You would never fail.”

“Having said that you would probably hit Saturn that hard you would probably knock it out of its orbit”

AGAIN MY SHAME IS COMPLETE

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Testing times

Our son’s school tests kids every couple of months (most schools do the same). Speaking with some of the other parents – most of the kids are getting stressed out over them. Maybe I’m old fashioned but these kids aren’t even teenagers yet.

My frustration is not only with the amount of testing, it’s with what is being tested. We currently focus on such a limited range of skills and are so inflexible on how the tests are operated. Not all kids are suited to the current testing environment.

I was talking to one parent whose child has really struggled to reach the set expected performance levels. However this child is brilliant. I’ve seen her paintings and cartoon sketches. Unfortunately we don’t have a test environment which allows her to demonstrate this brilliance. No government targets for painting.

Our son astounds me with his knowledge and understanding of history. He is scheduled to do a school test which is about the Battle of Hastings. He has a forensic knowledge in the area. Last night he spent two minutes explaining details of Bishop Odo who took part in the battle. The night before he explained in detail what William did after victory including how he persecuted the north. So if we could design a test environment so he could just talk for 30 minutes about the battle and then verbally answer detailed questions – then he could demonstrate his brilliance.

Problem is the test is to write a one page essay on the battle. Without help then he has no chance. Even with help he won’t be able to shine. This can’t be right. No government targets for developing autistic kids with dyslexia.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE CAN WE GIVE ALL KIDS THE CHANCE TO SHINE

I always thought I was pretty good on history. I tried to show this off to our son.

“William the Conqueror brought his army to the field in October 1066”

My so called knowledge was shot down in one line…

“Dad it was the 14th and he was not at that stage William the Conqueror. He was called William Duke of Normanby or sometimes William the Bastard because his mum was unmarried. The Conqueror was first referred to in around 1120, sorry I can’t be more precise”.

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The Eye and Questions

How can putting eye cream onto your eye be so difficult. It’s been a nightmare over the last few days. Yes a few drops have found their way somewhere near the target an boy does it sting…… However the majority have hit the floor, gone up my nose, on my face, into my hair, onto my clothes. This morning was no different. As I contorted on the floor randomly firing eye drops everywhere I heard our son say between the laughter.

“You are disproving everything about natural selection and evolution. Millions of years of evolution and the humans have come to this”

At least it took his mind off the nightmare which is school.

*************************

DaisyMae has tagged me to answer some questions. It’s been a bit of a chain to get to me. Please pay attention I might be testing you on this later.

DaisyMae was tagged by Crushed Caramel to participate in answering some questions.

Caramel was tagged by Kristian 

Kristian was tagged by Teresa aka The Haunted Wordsmith who was the creator of this question challenge. Have a look at Teresa’s original post to find out what she had in mind:

https://thehauntedwordsmith.wordpress.com/2018/11/18/q-a-a-little-weekend-fun/ 

Directions

  1. Answer the questions you receive (straight, funny, absurd, up to you)
  2. Add three more questions of your own to the list
  3. Tag three people

Teresa’s Questions:

WHAT WOULD KLAATU (THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL) THINK OF EARTH IF HE LANDED TODAY?

Assuming this is something like Keanu Reeves movie and also the 1950s movie. If he landed in Yorkshire today I guess he would have moaned about the weather.

IF BOOKS’ CHARACTERS WERE NOT IMPRISONED BY THEIR COVERS, WHICH TWO CHARACTERS WOULD MAKE A GREAT COUPLE?

Batman and Superman – what could possibly go wrong.

FOR US FOLKS: TURKEY, HAM, OR SOMETHING ELSE ON THANKSGIVING? FOR INT’L FOLKS: WHAT IS ONE FOOD YOU RECOMMEND MOST FROM YOUR COUNTRY?

Yorkshire Puddings.

Kristian”s Questions:

IS THERE A FICTIONAL WORLD THAT YOU ACTUALLY WISHED EXISTED?

Teletubby Land

WHAT SONG ALWAYS MAKES YOU SMILE?

Pinky and Perkies – Those magnificent men in their flying machines. (This one is very very very old).

HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS IN THE MORNING?

Without Salmonella. Sorry my sore eye is making me even more grumpy than usual. Definitely fried on potato waffles.

Crushed Caramel Questions:

WHEN YOU WENT TO THE PLAY-PARK AS A CHILD, DID YOU HAVE A FAVOURITE APPARATUS? (EG THE SWINGS, SEE-SAW, SLIDES, CLIMBING FRAME)

Had to be swings which allowed us to play that fine sport – welly wanging. Suspect that has not made the Olympics yet.

IF I WERE TO SEND YOU A BOUQUET OF FLOWERS – WHAT KIND OF FLOWERS WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE IN IT?

Would be just happy to get some flowers. So any.

WHEN YOU HAVE A COLD, HOW SO YOU TREAT IT? DO YOU DOSE YOURSELF UP WITH ITEMS YOU HAVE BOUGHT FROM THE PHARMACY OR DO YOU HAVE ANY HOME REMEDIES YOU RELY ON? IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE YOU DO TO TRY TO CHEER YOURSELF UP WHILE YOU ARE ILL?

I find being grumpy helps.

DaisyMae Questions:

What is one tv show you watch where if anyone knew they would be amazed/surprised/confused? A guilty pleasure.

The Goodies (another very very old show)

What word do you hate to hear the most?

pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis – no idea what it is but being that big a word – it can’t be good.

If you could chose any character from a book to have as a romantic partner who would it be?

Clarice Starling

My Questions

If the world needed a hero, who would you call?

Worst movie ever seen?

Have you ever been to Yorkshire?

I’m opening this up to anybody who fancies a crack at these questions.

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Vivid Dreams

For some reason I have been having some really vivid dreams recently. All of which are on the bizarre side of life. It’s probably a bit of the dreaded sleep deprivation – currently operating at zombie level so apologies if this doesn’t make much sense.

At the weekend I dreamt that the Queen was taking an open top train to Redcar (a seaside town on the east coast of England). For some reason I was on the way to catch a glimpse of the train. Somehow I managed to get lost and was getting increasingly annoyed as I kept arriving at the Middlesbrough Football stadium rather than the embankment overlooking the track. I woke up as I was sprinting down a road as I could hear a train passing close by.

Then the night after I had a Jurassic Park dream. A family holiday driving through Scotland. As we drove past Glen Coe a large wall loomed in the distance. I remember telling our son about this being the first Dinosaur Park in the UK. Apparently it closed a few years back and the Dinosaurs set free. We drove a bit further along the road and came across a brontosaurus feeding on some trees in the distance. I got out of the car to take a photo but didn’t see a green dinosaur close by. When the green dinosaur started coming towards me I sprinted back into the car but forgot I had the window wound down. Woke up just as the dinosaur (from the description reliably informed by son that it is one of these chaps) stuck his head in the car and started licking me.

Last nights dream had your intrepid hero carefully constructing the Millennium Falcon (Star Wars) from matchsticks. The last stick was placed with a surgeons precision and I stepped back to admire the masterpiece. Unfortunately at the same time a very large cat (culprit below) decided to sit on it. I woke I’m sure with a scream. I have to own up that today I have been given that cat a hard time. The cat has not yet been forgiven……