If I wander around a graveyard I notice the old headstones. The stones that have been weathered for centuries. The etched names now gone forever. .
My mum told me once “Just put me in a cardboard box and bury me. Then get on with your life. “
Bereavement and loss is an individual thing. Each grief journey is different. It took me a few years to figure mine out. I probably spent too much time living in the past and not enough time getting on with my life.
But now the balance feels better. Much more time focused on today. But each day I don’t let those names fade. Those that I have lost and yes I include pets. I find a quiet place, maybe the garden at night. Then I spend 5 or 10 minutes and recall great memories. I say those names out loud.
This way I don’t forget to live but I also don’t forget.
There comes a time when bread has to be baked. No gluten, no yeast, no dairy bread. Whisper it but it went without disaster. No need for nuclear decontamination. I didn’t creat Frankenstein’s monster. It kinda looks like bread. It kinda tasted like bread. It actually tasted ok.
Maybe I’m getting there.
Maybe I might be a approaching something like parenting competency.
Maybe next I might even figure out how the steam iron works 😂😂😂😂
It was only a matter of time. Somethings are set in stone. They just must happen.
So the Olympics is on. It just needs a major international sporting event to take place and the inevitable happens. Anyone with Yorkshire DNA immediately can only utter the following words for at least to weeks…
“See what would happen if Yorkshire was a country. We would show them….”
So here is the current Olympic Medals Table !!!!! The ‘reet properrr’ one.
I was digging around the blueberry bush to clear weeds and I discovered 2 socks…. I wonder how they got there.
So Hawklad had school tour. He ventured in with a teacher after all the other pupils had left for the day. He wandered around for 10 minutes. The first time he has been in the school in 16 months. He was fully masked up. The teacher was as well. He didn’t touch any surfaces. Kept looking down at the floor. Back from school he showered fir nearly 40 minutes. But he made it. That is such a huge step. He still has so many hurdles to clear before a return to the classroom is a realistic possibility, but it’s a start.
I don’t mind gardening. Yes it can be hard work but it’s mostly enjoyable and relaxing. Problem is that I’m not very good at it. My gardening attempts to make things worse. Over time I’ve figured out that the garden will always look better if nature takes control. With patience it brings you gifts. It always does. So amongst the weeds the gifts keep on coming.
Sadly the ‘leave it to Nature’ strategy doesn’t stretch to the lawn. Nature won’t cut the grass. It just keeps on growing. It becomes a meadow. A meadow without wild flowers, just prickly, stingy things. Balls get lost. Pets go missing. Mine and the dogs hay fever goes into meltdown. Yes the dog had allergies. He takes exactly the same antihistamines as I do. It’s such an odd feeling swallowing my tablet while trying to get the mad dog to take his. So the lawn needs cutting. That’s down to me. But I do leave Nature a few areas of grass to do it’s thing with. You never know what it will do. What wonders it might bring. And it does give the mad dog a great place to hide socks, my socks.
There is nothing like a good breakfast to kick start the day. Especially when it’s been another largely sleepless night. Today it was going to be cornflakes and flaxseed with a thick topping of fruit. No fresh fruit was available this week from the store so I opted for tinned fruit. Tropical Fruit Salad in juice. That will do nicely.
The reality was somewhat different.
As I poured the fruit over my cereal my brain tried to reboot from its reduced power standby mode. This doesn’t look right. Then the penny finally dropped just after tin was emptied. . Why was I tipping tinned baby carrots over my cornflakes.
Waste not want not. Wow that’s a taste sensation. 🥺🥺🥺🥺
Since I’ve been a parent watching my son go through the school system I have heard many things. Many things from those in charge of our school system. I’ve heard things like
The school day is too short
The children get too many holidays
We need to test and test again from as early as 5 years old
Schools failnot because of the system but because of poor classroom discipline
We need to bring back Victorian school values
Time off for bereavement is just an extended holiday for kids
Learning has to be about the needs of the economy
Teaching materials need to be carefully controlled so that pupils learn the right things
Smaller class sizes are overrated
Pupils taking a stand on climate change is really just an excuse to miss lessons
The school lunch break is too long
Pupils get too many breaks during the school day
Not enough children are taking part in after school learning activities
Not enough homework is issued
Ok you get the picture. Now ok I understand some parents will agree with those above statements but not me. I wouldn’t let this bunch of charlatans pretending to be a Government run a bath never mind our children’s schools.
But here’s the key thing. I’m hearing discipline, testing, work pupils harder…. One word I don’t hear is
FUN
What happened to childhood being the happiest time of our life’s.
Another word I don’t hear is
PLAY
What happened to childhood being about dreaming and playing.
Another word I don’t hear is
IMAGINATION
What happened to childhood being about dreaming and learning to think big.
Maybe that’s why we have such a huge mental health crisis amongst our young. Too much pressure. The world is changing rapidly so to me the last thing we need as a society is forcing our children through a factory school based system. Factory Education Farming based on values from over 100 years ago. It’s time to free up our schools. Let’s make schooling FUN again.
The school gates close for just under seven weeks and Hawklad wanted a celebratory car ride. To mark his freedom from school work, exams and having to get up before midday (😂😂) he came up with his own music playlist for the car ride.
So here’s Hawklads End of School playlist.
He had to sneak one song in just to wind up his old Dad….. But I will settle for 15 out of 16 good ones. So in the words of the Mr Alice Cooper
As I’m writing this, it is almost 5 years to the minute that I last spoke to my mum. She was in hospital and planning to go home. Ok the doctors weren’t planning on her going home for another week or so, but mum was stubborn. A battle of wills was brewing. I can’t remember what we talked about that evening. How often is that the case. I can remember being given a shopping list to fill her home refrigerator – remember she was going home.
We didn’t see the overnight relapse coming.
Yes I really miss her. My sibling do as well. She was the gravity that held us together.
But I’m not sad. Not today. She would have used a Yorkshire cricket expression – ‘had a long innings‘. She did. Lots of great memories. Lots of smiles. That’s what I see now. And today lots of ‘tea and biscuits’. That’s exactly what you got every time you went to see mum. Within seconds you found a biscuit in your hand, as if by magic. Even if you were on a diet that biscuit founds it’s way into your hand. Followed by a reassuring ‘that diet can start tomorrow, how about a piece of apple pie…”
A Dad trying to cope with the loss of his Partner and becoming a single parent. 