If I wander around a graveyard I notice the old headstones. The stones that have been weathered for centuries. The etched names now gone forever. .

My mum told me once “Just put me in a cardboard box and bury me. Then get on with your life. “

Bereavement and loss is an individual thing. Each grief journey is different. It took me a few years to figure mine out. I probably spent too much time living in the past and not enough time getting on with my life.

But now the balance feels better. Much more time focused on today. But each day I don’t let those names fade. Those that I have lost and yes I include pets. I find a quiet place, maybe the garden at night. Then I spend 5 or 10 minutes and recall great memories. I say those names out loud.

This way I don’t forget to live but I also don’t forget.

31 thoughts on “Don’t forget but

  1. It has always felt that the cliche that time is a great healer misleads. To me it is experiences that help survive. When the grief is raw it is an open wound, the sole focus. But add other experiences to the mix and the rawness reduces. However it never goes and like the person whose broken leg has healed yet aches to all buggery in thundery weather the pain can come roaring back given the right trigger. You never forget the person or the pain, you just wrap them in a coating of experiences. That’s how I see it anyway.

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  2. At some point in each day, something will remind me of a person or a pet. Some moments are poignant, some are sweet and if I am in that frame of mind, sometimes the tears still come, but I think that is alright. I’m glad you are feeling better, Gary.

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