If I wander around a graveyard I notice the old headstones. The stones that have been weathered for centuries. The etched names now gone forever. .
My mum told me once “Just put me in a cardboard box and bury me. Then get on with your life. “
Bereavement and loss is an individual thing. Each grief journey is different. It took me a few years to figure mine out. I probably spent too much time living in the past and not enough time getting on with my life.
But now the balance feels better. Much more time focused on today. But each day I don’t let those names fade. Those that I have lost and yes I include pets. I find a quiet place, maybe the garden at night. Then I spend 5 or 10 minutes and recall great memories. I say those names out loud.
This way I don’t forget to live but I also don’t forget.