News but not as you know i

Let’s try and lift the spirits from the last domestic post. Lonely does not want to meet the current news.

How often do you wake up. Make a cup of coffee. Then think I wonder what’s on the news. Then two minutes later you think – why did I bother. We live in a time of thoroughly dispiriting news. You also get the impression that the news has been carefully selected and filtered for you. If that wasn’t bad enough then often the news is the news. FAKE NEWS.

Well today we tried something different. No checking of the mainstream news. But what could we do instead. Let’s source our own news. That way we can live in whatever land or time or event or world we want to. Son got the first go.

Wrestling News.

  • Apparently a family has won the world thumb wrestling championship.
  • A good wrestler might go heel.
  • A bad guy wrestler might shave of his beard and go good.
  • Lots of wrestlers are going on a wrestling cruise.
  • Will the Demon fight another Demon at Summerslam.
  • A wrestler has a bad injury. But wait it’s a story line so they will be better for the next big Pay Per View event. It’s a miracle.
  • Another wrestler has a new hairstyle.

I can live with this. Absolutely no feeling of despair. Life is so much easier when it’s all a storyline.

Then we tried another type of News. Pokemon.

  • Pesky Team Rocket have apparently taken over lots of Poke Stops.
  • Apparently you can catch a shiny Koffing.
  • Lots of details about a Pokemon Go Community Day.
  • It’s your last chance to get an Armoured MewTwo. You have been warned.
  • Soon there is going to be a Sleep Snorlax Event.

Give me one good reason why this news world is not the one you should wake up to everyday.

Then I tried one. News on Captain Scarlet. Unbelievably nothing on the worlds greatest hero. What is the world coming to. So son tried another. Marvel

  • Endgame is the highest ever grossing movie beating Avatar. Is it me or was Avatar the most overrated pile of CGI pants.
  • Apparently Valkyrie’s real superpower is going to be revealed.
  • Black Widow is going to sort out Taskmaster. I thought she was dead…
  • Thor is coming back but this time Thor is a female. Cool.
  • The worlds funniest and greatest ever villain Loki is getting his own TV show. My toes are curling up with excitement already.

It’s a world of super intergalactic villains and with our planet repeatedly being almost vapourised by aliens. Yet every time larger than life heroes come to our rescue. Unbelievably that world sounds safer and less crazy than our own world.

One last news visit, let’s go Gerbil News. Expecting nothing but got a brief glimpse into a parallel universe.

  • Hungry gerbil rescued by Army Police in Derby.
  • Woman caught hiding 24 Gerbils up her skirt on a flight from China.
  • Gerbils replace rats as the main cause of the Black Death.
  • Richard Gere and the Gerbil. Don’t look this up but please tell me it’s not true.
  • Barnsley stages Olympics for Gerbils. 7 years ago but why wasn’t this subject to wall to wall TV coverage.
  • After the Mastermind Gerbil scandal we look at other game show fiascos.

So today we have completely avoided the fake news and feel so relaxed. I’m sure when we look again the world will be still messed up. It will still be burning. The rich getting richer and the poor still getting dumped on. Men with strange hairstyles and large egos will still be trying to take us back to the feudal times. But if we look just a little harder then the mist clears and the real world reveals itself. Tell me it’s not a better place.

Odd day

It’s been an ODD day.

Work warned me that today was likely to be beyond busy. Yet I didn’t hear a thing. Finally I was stood down with nothing to do. Not good for the bank balance but at least I could go for a walk

On the walk bumped into a few people but clearly being pleasant was not high on their priorities today. An encounter with one dog walker summed it up perfectly. Her dog ran up to me and jumped up. I bent over and gave the happy little dog some attention. When the owner arrived she curtly told me not to stroke her dog and walked off. Most odd. Then.

I got to my favourite hay bale.

It’s gone… The other bales are still there and it’s not even been moved across to join them. I sadly counted them. I’m going to miss that bale. Got quite attached to it. I wonder if the farmer will think I’m odd if I ask him where it’s gone.

On the way back home I stopped off at the local village shop. Here I bumped into a dad whose boy was at our sons last school. Almost straight away he said

I didn’t realise your son was Autistic. I only found out yesterday when it was mentioned at school. Has he just recently gone down with it”

I tried to explain that you don’t really go down with it. It’s a life long condition.

Probably explains why he always appeared a bit odd to me”

Fighting the urge to relocate this mans head from his shoulders I did bite back just a tad. Pointing out to him that it was a bit rich coming from someone who liked to wear his designer shades even when it was raining in winter. Someone who was the only parent who objected to the school sending the kids on a educational trip to the local mosque. Someone who demanded a teacher be sacked after he told off his son for cheating repeatedly at sports day. And someone who was a monumental d*******.

Needless to say we didn’t part on great terms… an odd encounter

Son came home to tell me that his class ran late so he only got 10 minutes for lunch as a result he didn’t have any lunch. Odd how no food for 8 hours can be seen as creating a positive learning environment.

The day finished off with a viewing of the Fighting the Family movie. The story of Paige the WWE wrestling star. After it had finished our sons on the spot review was

Paige is great. It is so sad that she had to retire at 26. The film was really good but oddly remarkably awkward in places”

Yes it’s been a very odd day.

Restricted View

Since the world changed things have become financially very tight. Two wages became one. That one wage was a full time steady one but it quickly became a part time zero hours contract. We have two financial positions. Close to the edge or veering towards the edge. The hope is that we can keep going until son has left school, is independent and I can return to a proper income. But the bottom line is our son will always come first the bankers come second.

We don’t have many indulgences. Just can’t afford them.

Our son has had it so tough. Aspergers, Dyslexia, ADHD, Dyspraxia, losing his mum, losing all his grandparents. The only thing that drives me is that I want to do everything possible to give him the best childhood.

So yes we do have some indulgences.

We pay for an annual pass to a Zoo. If you time it right you can get it heavily discounted.

We pay for a couple of rock concerts a year. We always sit at the back and pay for the cheapest seats available.

Twice a year he goes to see the WWE wrestling when they come to the UK. Again we opt for the tickets right at the back. It’s not great as the wrestlers appear that small it might as well be Lego Figure fighting. But not this time. We went to see it at the weekend. This time when I booked it I came across a couple of seats closer to the ring which had been heavily discounted due to a restricted view.

Really that’s some restricted view. Great night for our son and at last close enough to actually see the wrestlers faces…

So job done today got a happy boy.

One extra bonus. On the way back to the car we watched a massive city fireworks display. Far too much for my knackered phone.

No more than four words

We tried a new game a few hours ago. We had no more than 4 words to describe someone. It initially started as purely a wrestling game but spread out into the wider world. It sounds easy but I found it extremely testing. Just shows how verbose I have become.

Anyway it started off with Wrestling.

AJ Styles – Son (Best Wrestler on Earth), Dad (He has lovely hair)

Becky – Son (The Man) *** that’s on all her T-shirts

Undertaker – Son (A bit creaky now) Dad (Older Than Me)

Edge – Son (Best Entrance Music Ever)

Kane – Son (Still my favourite)

Brock Lesnar – Son (Paid Too Much) Dad (Scary but very boring)

Vince McMahon – Son (Likes Pretty Women) or (Likes Big Sweaty Men)

Then we went outside the Wrestling world

President Trump – Son (Sneaky and not nice) Dad (Plays too much golf)

Stephen Hawkings – Son (Science GOAT) *** GOAT stands for Greatest Of All Time, Dad (Appeared on The Simpson’s)

Einstein – Son (Science Second GOAT)

Homer Simpson – Son (Dad)

Hillary Clinton – Son (How did she lose)

Barack Obama – Son (Very Nice Clever Man) Dad (Can We Have Him)

Bill Clinton – Son (Cheeky and Naughty)

Bono – Son (Dad hates him) Dad (I hate him)

Gordon Ramsey – Son (Never heard of him) Dad (###@### f### off)

Bear Grylls – Son (Too mean to Bugs)

Squidward from Spongebob – Son (Dad)

PewDiePie – Son (YouTube Sensation) Dad (Who ???)

JK Rowling – Son (Made Money from Magic)

Patrick from Spongebob – Son (Dad)

Messi – Son (Footballs GOAT) Dad (Sign for Newcastle Please)

Arnold Schwarzenegger- Son (Terminator) Dad (Get Into the Chopper *** with an Austrian accent)

David Attenborough – Son (Mr Wildlife, Legend)

James Bond – Son (Drinks, Women, Guns) Dad (Sean Connery)

Prime Minister May – Son (Useless and Not Nice) Dad (Worst Ever PM)

Angela Merkel – Son (Proper Leader) Dad (Better than ours)

David Cameron – Son (Useless but almost nice) Dad (Caused this Brexit mess)

David Beckham – Son (Overrated) Dad (Never Liked Him)

Bill Gates – Son (Very Clever Very Rich) Dad (No More Updates Please)