Spring has finally arrived here.
A few weeks ago I overheard someone say “I think we are all ready for some sun now, it will cheer everybody up”.
Well the warm sun has arrived and yet I don’t feel particularly cheered up. I have been stuck in a ‘down spell’ for weeks now. Not the complete desolation I suffered after my partner died, just feeling low all the time, not sleeping well, often feeling sad, struggling to smile. The stuff which helped lift my spirits previously just don’t seem to be working currently.
Deep down I realise this particular down spell will eventually pass. Maybe tomorrow, maybe in a weeks time, maybe it will take ….
The strange thing is that a few days ago, a friend told me that I seemed happy and over my grieving. How could he be so wrong. Well the simple answer is that I’m not happier, certainly not ‘over’ my grief. However I have obviously become much better at hiding my feelings, hiding the real me, pretending not to be depressed.