The zero hours contract yielded 5 hours work today. Another 50000000 hours and I might just keep the bank manager from sending me snotty letters. Just enough time left for a quick run. The light was stunning. It’s the quiet before the next storm hits.

“Is it true that we are getting another storm.”

“Yes Son it’s due to hit at the weekend. But this time maybe just a little less wind but much more rain.”

Great. I bet they have given it a really silly name.”

“Storm Dennis.”

“Your joking aren’t you.”

No Son it’s officially called Dennis.”

Probably named after Dennis The Menice. Would have been better if they had called it Storm Menice.”

Given we seem to be getting them every 6 days now maybe they should call it ANOTHER STORM.”

Son gave the car radio a quizzical look when the news reporter mentioned that Boris Johnson is still committed to building a bridge between Scotland and Ireland.

How much is that going to cost”

“I think it was a minimum ยฃ20 billion but given our track record of overspends that probably means about ยฃ80 billion”

Dad what a stupid idea. How many operations, or school books or trees could that pay for. How many months will it be closed for high winds.”

It’s a staggering idea. A 45km bridge over a seriously mad and volatile sea area. Supported by a series of giant towers having to be spaced at least a kilometre apart to accommodate the busy shipping routes. It would also have to cross the location of the country’s largest military dump. In 1945 over a million tons of munitions and submarines were dumped in a 300m deep sea trench.

“Its ok Son it’s unlikely to be built. When he was Mayor of London Boris committed to another big bridge idea. He was going to build a pedestrian bridge over the Thames. It ended up as a shambles and nothing happened. So if he can’t build a bridge between London and London he’s going to struggle to build one from Scotland to Ireland”.

Talking about building Dad. When are you going to get round to putting my shelf back up in my bedroom.”

The project is currently in the planning stages.”

If you mean by planning that it’s been propped against the wardrobe them then planning stage has lasted almost two years.”

I will try to do it tomorrow.”

Yeh right. Two massive white elephants. The Irish Sea Bridge and my Lego Shelf.”

75 thoughts on “White elephant

  1. I saw an interesting map of the dumping ground in the Irish Sea. Hopefully, weโ€™ll have a new Parliament before there is any serious attempt to do anything as bizarre as build a bridge there.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh my goodness. I absolutely love it when you write about the conversations you have with your son. He really is quite precocious eh? And very funny! It seems to be a thing with governments – they love to make outlandish promises that cannot possibly be kept. Don’t be a Boris – get on building your son’s shelf. His future may depend on it. LOL

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      1. Well we all reckon independence is coming, whatever monkey he gives. However the rabid unionist press makes it look– I mean we all just deck ourselves up here when the Labour and the Libs and the Tories with their piddling amount of MPs between them keep saying people don’t want it, instead of looking to the fact that if some of them don’t start singing a different tune they are facing wipeout. An awful lot of tunes have changed lately in terms of mood up here recently.

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      2. Well I said before Alfred the Great had a lot so answer for. He created a monster in many ways. And that monster has swallowed these islands. And frankly in terms of
        the grey men who run the country, the establishment and all that divine right crap goes all the way back to him. Historically the Scottish people never got the choice or any say on the Act of Union and what is forgotten, largely because it was never taught here, is that was am equal union of parliaments, not a situation where we all get told what to do by Whitehall. There are whole swathes of ‘England’ that also happily had their own ways. Yorkshire and Cornwall to name but two.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Ha ha excellent ๐Ÿ™‚ Reminds me of that quote, rehashed and revamped – but what bright spark thought it good idea to dump munitions into our oceans?’ They are everywhere around the globe, causing untold pollutions and continued damages .. they poison everything.

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  4. Where your planning stage will cost nothing apart from your sons hard stare (when you still haven’t done it ๐Ÿ˜‰) the planning stage for the bridge which will never be built will cost billions just in the planning, most of which will go to Johnson’s backers and Tory donors probably.

    Liked by 1 person

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