Chestnuts are ready. Shame about the angry armour they leave behind.

Maybe I could do with some angry armour. It’s actually very possible given the advertising I’ve been receiving recently on my iPad. If I say angry armour enough then surely the Skynet computer system will flag up angry armour and then it’s adverts about sale offers on the latest Hulk Busting Ironman suit.

In this modern every situation is a selling opportunity world I understand the need for targeted advertising. But really can it be a little more, what’s the words I’m looking for – pigging accurate.

If I was targeting me then I would send adverts about decaf coffee, sleep inducers, heavy metal cds, gym kit, parenting guides, Pet Hair removers, Newcastle United footy shirts and muppet memorabilia. Guess what!!! Over the last month not one single advert received on any of these things. So exactly what have I been targeted with….

  • Adverts for international holidays to every country except the only one I write about every Sunday.
  • Stairlifts – we live in a bungalow.
  • Hunting clothing – I’m a veggie.
  • Swimming costumes – I can’t swim.
  • Gas Fires – the nearest gas main is 15 miles away, we can only use electricity and home heating oil.
  • Ornamental elephants – why?
  • Online casinos – never once done any like that but I have watched Casino Royal.
  • Prefabricated office space – why?
  • A home delivery service which is not available in our area, in fact the nearest location the service covers is 150 miles south of here.
  • Garlic oil – garlic sets my IBS off.
  • Sports Bras – we are a male only household, what is the point – just a minute, actually…….
  • Snooker tables – not played in 30 years.
  • Wine offers – I’ve been tea total in over 6 years.
  • Farm machinery – bit overkill for our little garden lawn.
  • Ornamental Storks – why?
  • Prams and baby walkers – no chance of babies here.
  • Makeup – Looking at me in the mirror I need cement.
  • And wait for it – a weeks advanced cooking course………

Is it me or am I just missing the point. They must have a very odd view ot me. Maybe tomorrow I get the chance of my angry armour.

112 thoughts on “Angry armour

  1. I’ve seen a few men who could use a good sports bra. Just sayin…๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ And don’t even try to tell me you fall into that category, cuz I’ve seen your reflection.

    You have confused the all mighty algorithm with your wild, red rose rebel, Yorkshire ways. Keep up the good work!๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’Œ๐Ÿ’Œ

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh, I hate those adverts! Bob was on one of my social media sights and got really excited about some random dog toy that was being advertised on the sidebar. Guess what the focus of ALL my adverts are now? I guess we have dogs, but once they think they got you figured out, they sure do send it all to you. Although, I guess that doesn’t explain why you are getting these random weird ones. They are pretty funny!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I don’t like targeted adverts so I clear my history, cache, everything after every single session. And run 2 ad blockers. Minus the pic I recently posted (non existent roller shoes) and some clothing company, I don’t even notice what ads show up!

    If yours was accurate, it would stream all of the latest QVC Temptations products! lol

    Liked by 1 person

  4. ๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„ thats very funny …

    Well perhaps is the searches on your phone? You do cooking right?

    And have you spoken about any similar subjects in front of your phone? lol … maybe it misunderstood – you always tell me you have accent lol

    Or maybe your phone just has a sense of humor ๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„

    I donโ€™t really get ads? I have all that turned off and extreme privacy lol … I will not allow Apple to submit anything off my phone … I still donโ€™t trust them

    I do get ads on YouTube for really stupid stuff – the minute I can pass, I do

    I give no attention at all to ads… unless during the Super Bowl ๐Ÿˆ – but those better be hilarious and awesome lol

    Liked by 1 person

      1. You should be a Patriot… cause we win lol … I have to represent โœŒ๏ธ๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜˜

        I am not really a football ๐Ÿˆ girl… my thing is baseball โšพ๏ธ โค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธ Boston Red Sox โค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธ

        But I also know literally zero about soccer โšฝ๏ธ so I suppose we even … what are you? England United? Is that right?

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Hahaha thatโ€™s funny

        So I was right? England United? I donโ€™t know the names – I donโ€™t follow soccer at all … I donโ€™t know if my New England area even has a soccer team ? I will have to Google lol
        ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ omg we do!!!!

        Is called New England revolution … ok I know nothing about them – but thatโ€™s my team lol

        Yay!! I have a soccer team!!!

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Lol… didnโ€™t you say they just won?

        I am Boston Red Sox – we once had a curse placed on us by Babe Ruth… we went 86 years before breaking that curse

        Called the curse of the Bambino lol

        And once that curse was broken – we repeatedly won!! Woo hoo – now our shit donโ€™t stink lol ๐Ÿ˜„โœŒ๏ธ

        Keep believing!! A strong spirit pulls through anything!! Might take 86+ years but once you win itโ€™s incredible!!!

        I donโ€™t follow soccer โšฝ๏ธ… for some reason that sport just doesnโ€™t interest me? I dunno why???

        I love baseball, I can handle football, basketball, hockey, golf… all of it… but soccer ? Eh maybe itโ€™s because I think of my little brother playing when he was little – and then my sons played when they were little – it always kinda annoyed me??? And I have ignored… I do not know why??? Itโ€™s not overly huge over here.

        I had no idea we even had actual grown men soccer teams here – but then I donโ€™t pay attention to it either

        Weird … the 4 big sports here are football being the biggest, then baseball, basketball and hockey.

        Hockey is bigger back in New England area – but out here they do have hockey teams – itโ€™s followed more back East

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Well keep believing – sounds like you are due for some winning…

        There is not a curse or anything right? ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜„โœŒ๏ธ

        Just keep believing – one day you will have your glory!! โšฝ๏ธ… think of how the fans will just erupt!! It be crazy!! They need the power of the fans believing they can do it lol โœŒ๏ธ

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Yeah well you still gotta have that chip on your shoulder that you have the best team… if they have your loyalty – be fierce โœŒ๏ธ

        We always talked a lot of shit even when we had that curse

        And then we broke that curse … and omg celebration time lol … and then now we just own it cause we rock!! Lol

        See … chip on shoulder lol

        Liked by 1 person

      6. Off subject… I heard someone speak from Yorkshire today – I saw something about some antique shop you have that is possibly haunted lol ๐Ÿ˜„

        But I understood his speech

        I just tried to find maybe something on it from YouTube and instead I found 5 haunted places in Yorkshire ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

        The video is called …
        5 of the most haunted places in Yorkshire ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

        Go see! Do you know those places? ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ณ

        Well I didnโ€™t mean it to get that creepy lol… I just wanted to tell you about the antique shop place and understanding that guy

        But whatever I guess it is October and Halloween is coming so there we go… some creepy stuff lol

        Do you know those places ๐Ÿ˜ฎ???

        Liked by 1 person

      7. Yeah personally we not doing halloween either – I will just buy their favorite candies for them… I do not want them exposed like that… โ˜น๏ธ no costumes and no trick or treating โ˜น๏ธ

        I feel like I am robbing my daughter but ya know… I just want to be safe

        Postponed for us as well – personally … but this is America so who knows what people gonna actually do?? Currently this is Trump country

        I live out in country – we never have kids … we are never like a neighborhood… we too spread out

        My daughter is understanding and sweet about it – but I feel bad โ˜น๏ธ kind of a lot … but whatever I think it is for the best. I just feel really bad.

        Liked by 1 person

      8. Hahaha I can not believe you do not have a plethora of pumpkins ๐ŸŽƒ there!!

        We have pumpkin patches ALL OVER the place right now!!! Hopefully I can take my daughter to get a pumpkin so we can maybe carve that โค๏ธ I love that part โค๏ธ I am very talented when carving pumpkins lol

        That will at least be halloweenie ๐Ÿ˜„โค๏ธ๐ŸŽƒ๐ŸŽƒ๐ŸŽƒ

        So you donโ€™t do pumpkin carving then?? I can get fancy with it โค๏ธ

        Liked by 1 person

      9. We passed a pumpkin patch on way home … I have the eyes of a child… so I got all excited and big smiles … I said we will have to maybe get a pumpkin this week – we go to that patch (is a huge pumpkin field… a field of pumpkins ๐ŸŽƒ) just tons and tons of pumpkins … you get to go pick your own!!! Outside

        Well ๐Ÿคจโ˜น๏ธ she gasped and said โ€œno mum, we in the middle of corona – we not doing any pumpkin patchโ€

        โ˜น๏ธ wah ๐Ÿ˜ฉ… sometimes I totally feel like the child – cause I really want that!! And is outside – we can be masked and have distance… I just love the carving itโ€™s soooo awesome!!

        Like a child… I will ask again later this week to see if the answer is different lol ๐Ÿ˜˜โœŒ๏ธ

        She is not in the Halloween spirit at all…

        Holidays are going to be different this year … all of them!! But whatever… we together so doesnโ€™t really matter – I just love certain things – plus the pumpkin seeds are awesome tooo!!!

        Just little things I love very much!! Not a big deal though – still asking again later lol

        Liked by 1 person

      10. America goes all out for all holidays – plethora … and I use that word heavily… of holiday items…

        I donโ€™t think other countries are like that?? We are soooooo commercialized with every single holiday!!!

        Pumpkins been out and around since September and are hoards of them everywhere – in stores, pumpkin patches everywhere!!!

        It must be very nice to not have holidays shoved down your throat? Peaceful?

        Liked by 1 person

      11. Oh so you arenโ€™t force fed it in all the stores, on tv and everywhere you go? Lol

        Huh I thought that would be the case – I knew we were over the top with that… we over the top in everything ๐Ÿคจ

        Why I so completely feel everything is so commercialized and takes away from the specialness

        Itโ€™s too much!! Every single holiday!! Every single one

        Liked by 1 person

      12. Awww ๐Ÿ˜” itโ€™s kinda too much … I donโ€™t like the way we are with that

        Is what is… but kinda too much … big business though … just kinda takes away from holidays sometimes

        Liked by 1 person

      13. I do like holidays – but just simple – with family and how is supposed to be special… not commercialized.

        Itโ€™s the commercialization I have an issue with.

        Christmas is the worst offender of commercialization!! And it shouldnโ€™t be like that.

        Just nice chill holidays would be totally fine.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Ooh, I’d love some angry armour! Targeted ads in my world are usually about that absurd, too, but, when they *do* get it right, it’s actually downright creepy. It’s like the internet says, “Oh! You were just casually googling shoes for your son’s extremely narrow, incredibly long feet? How about everywhere you go next online for several days, I will be sending a veritable blizzard of ads for AA width shoes ?” Not to mention the things I have only talked about with my husband but never googled suddenly popping up when I hop online a little while later. Cue the eerie music! ๐Ÿ˜ณ…Oh, boy. That sounds rather conspiracy theory like, doesn’t it? ๐Ÿ˜

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Ah ha, another victim of the weird world where the former Veep Jazz Band, Al Gore Rhythms dominates choices. The stork, now, isn’t that obvious – its a role model for your one legged warrior pose.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. We have a chestnut tree at the front of the house. There are chestnut cases all over the drive at the moment — another weekend job.

    As for advertising, I remember just after I’d bought my first home someone phoned and asked if I wanted to buy a conservatory. He hung up after I pointed out that I lived in a first floor flat.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Your mention of Newcastle has reminded me: we are hosting you for the quarter finals of the Carabao Cup! ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿฆ… (Couldnโ€™t find a magpie so this will have to do.)

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s