Chestnuts are ready. Shame about the angry armour they leave behind.
Maybe I could do with some angry armour. It’s actually very possible given the advertising I’ve been receiving recently on my iPad. If I say angry armour enough then surely the Skynet computer system will flag up angry armour and then it’s adverts about sale offers on the latest Hulk Busting Ironman suit.
In this modern every situation is a selling opportunity world I understand the need for targeted advertising. But really can it be a little more, what’s the words I’m looking for – pigging accurate.
If I was targeting me then I would send adverts about decaf coffee, sleep inducers, heavy metal cds, gym kit, parenting guides, Pet Hair removers, Newcastle United footy shirts and muppet memorabilia. Guess what!!! Over the last month not one single advert received on any of these things. So exactly what have I been targeted with….
- Adverts for international holidays to every country except the only one I write about every Sunday.
- Stairlifts – we live in a bungalow.
- Hunting clothing – I’m a veggie.
- Swimming costumes – I can’t swim.
- Gas Fires – the nearest gas main is 15 miles away, we can only use electricity and home heating oil.
- Ornamental elephants – why?
- Online casinos – never once done any like that but I have watched Casino Royal.
- Prefabricated office space – why?
- A home delivery service which is not available in our area, in fact the nearest location the service covers is 150 miles south of here.
- Garlic oil – garlic sets my IBS off.
- Sports Bras – we are a male only household, what is the point – just a minute, actually…….
- Snooker tables – not played in 30 years.
- Wine offers – I’ve been tea total in over 6 years.
- Farm machinery – bit overkill for our little garden lawn.
- Ornamental Storks – why?
- Prams and baby walkers – no chance of babies here.
- Makeup – Looking at me in the mirror I need cement.
- And wait for it – a weeks advanced cooking course………
Is it me or am I just missing the point. They must have a very odd view ot me. Maybe tomorrow I get the chance of my angry armour.