Tis the season for cobwebs.

Grief and Loss is an odd thing. I can feel fine then something unexpected sends those emotional waves crashing over me again. Four years ago those waves would be constant. Permanent high tide. These days the waves have largely ebbed with only the occasional rip tide. Because these tides are so unexpected, they really take the breath away.

The other thing is that these days it’s often random things that set me off. Definitely not the usual stuff. Not the kind of thing that I can prepare for. Just like last night.

I was trying to find a packet of microwave rice from the kitchen cupboard. It had clearly fallen off the back of the shelf. As I rummaged I came across a box. An unopened Slow Cooker. My partner must have bought this. I have been using the one I got from my mum’s house when I cleared it out. I now held this unopened kitchen gadget and felt incredibly sad. Those waves started to crash over me.

My partner never got round to using this. She never will…..

Not an old photo. Not a favourite song. Not an old letter. A SLOW COOKER had set me off.

67 thoughts on “Slow cooker

  1. Grief is odd. I can’t imagine your pain, but I know those tidal waves hit me out of nowhere from losing my mom 5 years ago. The grief is a reminder of the love, but I know that doesn’t make it easier. Hugs!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. About a year or two after my youngest brothers death one day i found myself suddening crying while sitting in front of my computer.

    I didn’t know why until i suddenly realized that it was right around the anniversary of his death.

    He died of an intentional overdose sometime after midnight Thanksgiving morning.

    After receiving a phone call from one of his wife’s coworkers claiming that his wife, from whom he was seperated at the time, was having an affair with another one of her coworkers.

    What he didn’t know at the time was that she had called all the spouses of her coworkers claiming their spouse was cheating on them.

    From that experience i can emphasize with your loss. I never did get over my brothers untimely death and had to learn to live with it over time.

    For my mother this is the hardest time of the year for her so my brother and i will have to be there for her as Thanksgiving is only a couple of weeks away.

    I liked the picture of the spider web. I bought a large plastic spider at a Dollar Tree store just before Halloween and have it hanging from the pull chain of my ceiling fan where it slowly spins round and round.

    Have a great week!

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  3. The waves of sadness and loss must have been a gut punch, but I think it’s kinda cool that you’re finding little things she put away, even four years later. You can look at it as she’s still very much with you and Hawklad still.
    Sending hugs, my friend!πŸ’ŒπŸ’ŒπŸ’Œ

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  4. A slow cooker seems so appropriate to me in relation to grieving. Grieving is slow and is like a cooker of mixed emotions. I hope you use that as yet unopened gadget to fill the house with best-loved flavours and happy memories which will make you smile through tears.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. It’s the wanting feeling. It’s like being robbed. (trying to explain a feeling)
    I’m gonna do one of those annoying “If I were you… ” now and say I’d give it to someone. 🎁
    How about I tell you about the first time I used a brand new pressure cooker to show off to mother? I put potatoes in the bottom, carrots in the half basket and cabbage in the other half basket. Turned the cooker on. Went into the other room to sit with mother, who then asked what was that metal smell? That’s right, forgot the water! What a bloody stink and thankfully the little bit of melty metal in a rubber bung had stopped worse apparently.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I decided that due to my nature of getting distracted, that pressure cooking is off the table. Also that microwaves are off too, because. I do love ending a sentence with because. In fact with the kids I used to use it all the time as the only word in a sentence if they asked the sentence “Why?” 😁

        Liked by 1 person

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