I was sat blankly gazing at a featureless spreadsheet on my work laptop. It was all numbers, letters, formulas, data ranges and macros. A few changes here and a few changes there. It might balance soon.


I hate work.

No hang on let’s get that right. I hate this work. I hate accountancy. I hate using spreadsheets and word. I hate putting on a work face and being all professional. I hate hiding my incompetence and acting like I have the faintest idea what I’m supposed to be doing.

I work to pay the bills (well some of them 😂😂). That’s it.

It took me years to work out I was the official Mr Grumpy Work Pants. But actually the signs where always there. Wearing bright ties and waistcoats to try to be cool. Spending much of my life stressed out. Looking on enviously at other people and their jobs. Pilots, Mountain Guides, Astronomers, Health Professionals, Artists, Chefs. Reluctantly setting off for work every day. Only funding a spring in my step on a Friday afternoon as I leave work for a few days.

But it doesn’t have to be like this. We all have dreams and talents. Interests that can be made to work for you. I’ve heard parenting been described as an unpaid job. Well if it is then I love that job. Yes tiring but so rewarding.

I certainly don’t want Hawklad to get stuck in an unrewarding job. You invest too much time to waste that. I want him to live out his dreams. I don’t want him to be me. I want him to avoid the spreadsheets and get to smell the roses.

21 thoughts on “Satisfaction guaranteed

  1. If I can go back to University (aged 49) to get a degree that I REALLY want to do, then why can’t you? It’s never too late. I’m parenting alone too, and I’m determined to make it work somehow; perhaps you can do some of it online if your son is still wobbly about being in school…?

    Liked by 3 people

  2. It’s certainly worth looking into another job if you’re feeling unhappy or stuck in the one you have. Although, it may be difficult with your current responsibilities. I’m sure if you look into your options, you’ll find something that works for you.


  3. If I had made it to August first of 2020, I would have worked for the same company for thirty years. Looking back at that now, I wonder why I wasted all that time. I stayed because it was easier. I stayed because I knew that and learning new things is hard. I stayed, and I feel, wasted just short of thirty years. Parenting is an amazing experience. I say though, look for that star you seek. Reach for it, grab it and run. Life is too short to do otherwise.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. There are lots of people who love what they do and get paid $$$ for it. I never knew what it was I really wanted to do, so I got stuck, taking advantage at least of good benefits. I think this past year has given you a chance to change course. You can do it. Look what you have already been through.


  5. What is simply a (yawn) spreadsheet for some is an absolute joy for others! If a complete retrain and new career is out of the question, how about volunteering one day? Or a dog trainer/walker … Captain Chaos would love that!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s