A small family trip to the moors. A carpet of pink.

I’ve always considered my family pretty close knit. No conflicts. No splits. Yes we got geographically spread but we still kept in regular contact. Regular visits.

Then three things happened .

Mum left us…..It wasn’t until she was not there anymore that I noticed that she was the gravitational force that held us together. We would frequently meet up at her house. We would have family get togethers but these usually happened because of mum. We would make the effort because of mum. Now that force of attraction has gone, the family meet ups are becoming less frequent and fewer turn up when they do happen.

Lockdown……The less frequent meet ups STOPPED for over 18 months. One sister who I would see really frequently has ended up not seeing Hawklad in over 2 years now…. Brother its 3 years now.

Time……As time passes we develop our own worlds. New families.

So we had a small meet up today and it felt strange. We should have had plenty to talk about, lots of catching up to do. It never happened. Even though we were physically close there still seemed to be a distance. Even Hawklad felt it. He pulled his hoody fully up – that’s a sign that he wasn’t comfortable. That never used to be the case.

When will the next meet up be, who knows. Zero sign of getting all the brothers and sisters together. The last time that happened was my partners funeral. The slow drifting apart of my family is sad but it feels kinda inevitable.

33 thoughts on “Heather

  1. Yes it loos like a LESS in the way of instant connections, but there’s MORE in the way of being good at protecting ourselves to be able survive all this crap the virus threw at us/throws at us still. We’re different now. Things are different now. We’ve done amazingly. We’re doing amazing. Let’s give ourselves credit, as we need to remember to stay kind even unto ourselves. Small steps are still steps and 🐌 slow progress is still progress. Sometimes we have to take sideways steps to move forward.

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  2. I’m very sorry about this. You are right that there is often a gravitational circle in every circle and I’m sorry that she’s no longer there. Drifting is inevitable with some relationships but it is nonetheless very sad.

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  3. No, it’s not inevitable – unless we allow it. If they won’t/can’t keep in touch, then perhaps you could try. I know it seems like one more thing on your already great pile but it needn’t be huge or heavy. Maybe just send them one of those amazing pictures you always take – and send a line with it. Maybe let the pictures do more of the talking… One day, something’s bound to move someone.

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  4. that heather field is lovely. did you know that it has meany medicinal properties? i didnt until i looked it up. kinda cool…sorry about the family thing. I have never been close to my family..i dont think much changed for us in that way with the pandemic.

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      1. No. It’s not. Our parents are still alive too. But in each of our families of origin, neither really put the effort in drawing us together. More just pitting each of us against the other. We see each other on holidays, but since we split those between Bob’s family and my own, our meetings are once a year and it is all about just being over with it. It is sad.

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  5. It is sad, but I think this is what often happens to families. I have grand nieces and nephews I’ve never met…two are grown up now. Sad thing is if I did meet them I wouldn’t know what to talk about. Heather is beautiful. I used to have a hill full.

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  6. I adore heather. It’s stunning. It was everywhere in the New Forest. Sorry you feel you are losing touch with your family. Is/are there one or maybe two of them you could try and connect with individually? It would be sad to lose touch completely x

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  7. I’m sorry you feel so distant from your family. I understand the feeling. When I go to meet someone for the first time in a while, I find that remembering something you did with them (or that reminds you of them) that you really loved right before you go meet them helps. For example, I often remember an Easter egg hunt from my childhood when going to meet one of my Aunts. I often don’t get along with this Aunt, but she always made Easter a fun time. Remembering that, and those feelings, right before I see her helps put me in the right mood to reconnect.

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