That’s one hardy leaf. Some would say ‘mad’. Coming out now, just before the Yorkshire winter commences. When all it’s buddies will give it another 5 months or so….

Or is that Mr Lazy Leaf. “Sorry chaps, I think I overslept, oh pants did I miss summer. Big pants, missed Autumn as well……. Anyone got a hot water bottle and a warm blanket.”

Must admit I kinda feel like that most days. Kinda feeling out of synch with life. Not been in synch for years. I’ve heard this from quite a few people who have gone through LOSS. Your time slows down (even feels like it stops) while the world keeps spinning without missing a single heartbeat. Initially I found that hard to deal with. If my world has stopped why hasn’t the world stopped, actually does it even know what’s happened.

Over time I realised that life has to keep going. Why should the world stop for one person. But even now that feeling of being out of synch still won’t go away. Maybe the more I live, the more baggage I shed then maybe, just maybe, I will start to find that synch again with the big bad world.

So yes I feel like that little green leaf is a kindred spirit.

62 thoughts on “Kindred Spirit

  1. I can’t truly know what you are feeling but the way you describe the feeling of the world stopping for you, I can relate to. If I understand correctly, it’s that feeling that everyone else has their stuff together, that everyone else if functioning. The wanting to scream “don’t you see that I’m in pain?!?!?!”

    Wishing you what you need to get through it. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us

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  2. I totally understand what you are saying. I feel in a different world. All the couples that Len and I would sit with, or talk to, now treat me as a single woman. Almost non existent. Not sure if I am a threat, or they don’t know what to do, or say to me. I feel like that leaf often

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  3. I felt each and every word of this.
    Everytime I force myself to meet people, the fact that the world is still doing what it does, takes a toll on me. It’s hard to process.

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      1. I think Chel is right, in that we need to slow down and take it all in, because otherwise we do our relationship a disservice. Maybe everyone needs to make a moment here and there to slow down and see warts and all this life. Any person we’ve had a relationship with is worth slowing down for and taking it all in, in our own pace. I personally have let all sorts of good/bad memories of others, help me get to grips with the whole shebang of who we were and where I am now.

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      1. Of course it does. I remember seeing an aged film, i can’t remember the name of it but I think it was –unusually– a set of short stories and there was one about a leaf. Like that there was one left and so long as it was there, the very ill young woman believed she would be okay. And it was. And she got well. The punchline was that someone had actually painted it eventually on the wall outside her window where she looked at it. Kind of a bit of a let down IF you want to look at it that way. But hope is indeed a very strong and powerful force and even if the leaf goes something else will take its place because it has inspired you to have that hope.


  4. I love the hope your tiny leaf friends give us. The world does slow when you’re grieving, and never really goes back to where it was, but there’s always a bit of hope that something meaningful will pull you forward. It’s up to us to find those tiny things.

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  5. Funny…I was just in the garden taking pictures of my last few “survivors”. Some plants just keep going and going in spite of hard frost. For some reason I am always curiously touched by them.

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  6. Good for your for noticing that little green leaf!! 💃🏼🥳

    Nothing wrong with being out of sync! Stay green, stay exactly you. Lots of the world has gone a little screwy… I generally stick to the outer perimeter myself. Much safer!😉

    That little leaf is a great metaphor for life continuing, even in the midst of death too.

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  7. You’ll get back in synch again. We both will. I love your leaf metaphors. Speaking of leafs, I’ll have my own leaf post coming up as well. Got meself an idea yesterday. She did she did. 🍂🍂🍂🍃🍃🍃🍃🍂🍂🍂🍂🍃🍃🍃🍃🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳

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  8. This is such a touching comparison. It is a paradox indeed that it feels like time slows down in the own world while the rest of the world keeps spinning, like being in a bubble with its own time. But the spinning of the world out there is what brings the speed of our own along again.

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  9. You ARE in synch with life, you just found a different rhythm. That happens after the tragic loss of a loved one. We are forced to move more slowly, think more deeply, reset our priorities, and learn “new steps.” I like to think that it’s everyone else who is out of synch, running the rat race, setting longtime goals like they have total control. Us “losers” know better. We realize that life is fragile. And we march to the beat of a different drummer because of it! ❤️

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  10. Just UGH. I remember after my sister died how many times I would think to call her, then realize she wasn’t there to answer. And it’s so true what you say about the shift in the passing of time—people are showering/eating/working/driving and all you know is L O S S….. ❤️ I’m so sorry….


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