Virtually every day for over two decades I have looked at this landscape. Looked at that tree, stood alone in the next farmers field. The occasional trip away, the all too infrequent Swiss day broke those years up. But definitely for 6 years, every day I have looked upon that view.

After my partner died, I couldn’t contemplate making changes to the house. It just didn’t seem right. Then a few hesitant steps. Clothes, shoes, handbags and some books taken to a charity shop. But her cd’s are still sat, untouched, in the same place. Her ornament largely in the same locations. But now the mindset is changing. Time for change if Hawklad is ready.

A start will be my partners cd’s. A quick scan revealing a taste for 80’s pop and dance music. They are never going to get played in this metal and rock house. Music is such a waste of its not played. Time to move them on to a better home. Ok I might keep the Dido cd…..

I’m looking at a sofa that is over 20 years old. Cats, a mad climbing dog, food and drink spills, my enormous backside has taken its toll on the poor thing now. It’s really time for a change. Well kind of. Hawklad would appreciate some more comfort but is kinda attached. So we have plan b. But a new sofa, finally change the living room look. But the old sofa can find its way into the conservatory.

That’s still change.

Life has moved on.

I’m not stood by that permanently closed door anymore.

60 thoughts on “Time changes”

  2. It takes time, and it has to be done within one’s own timing and when you are ready, not before. Since my husband’s death I have changed or rearranged one thing at a time, and each time, that one thing gives me the courage and momentum to take the next step.

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      1. You are quite right. Sometimes I think there are things I’ll never let go of. I’m finding it much harder with my father’s things. He passed away in November, and my sister and I both are having a very hard time cleaning out his house.

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      2. I think its a good idea to respect how you feel. We never totally let go on some level because love goes in forever but in time we come to terms, that us my experience but each one is different and depends on our relationship to other losses.

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  8. While my daughter was home for Thanksgiving, we boxed up her Dad’s clothes and donated them. And I survived…mostly. 🙂 My daughter even came up with a funny story for each of his graphic t-shirts.

    But after almost three years of taking his things out the closet only to put them back in the closet, my head and heart were finally ready for it.

    One step at a time. ❤

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  17. I understand that you had a feeling of guilt when thinking of giving the things of your partner away. But yes, there is this time when a new beginning feels right and that is the moment when active changes can be done with conviction and a feeling of peace. It is only things/objects that will be changed but never will she lose her place anyway. The life of those down here needs to go on and has to go on. Life is meant to be lived otherwise, it is no life anyway. But as long as we are here we are meant to live in each moment. How wonderful when the time has come to let it happen again. It is like new dawn 💖

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  20. It just takes time, doesn’t it.. My house is still littered with my Mum and older sister’s possessions, there are some items of clothing Mum bought for me that still contain precious memories.. there is no timeline on this, its all down to your heart.. I feel it with you… but time is change it really is, and letting go may free the space for something new to enter, with time.. Hugs and love ❤

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  25. I think I had it the toughest of all. After my soul mate died there I was living in the suburbs of Riga, Latvia in an old two-story house, His passing was sudden and a shock to me, After which an anxiety suffering person like me had to just pull together and make life-changing choices, I sold the house and returned to my homeland the US I had been in Riga for 20 years and would have still been there if I had not lost my husband, Now it’s been four years and I still miss him a lot but I put one foot in front of the other and keep marching through life,

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  27. Change and discarding things can be damned hard after someone you love dies. For me, it was getting rid of anything my husband of twenty-two years had written on. Hang in there.

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