Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 58 Comments

Typical Sunday

Sunday morning in Yorkshire. Like every Sunday morning for over a year now. Not enough sleep. Get up. Feed the pets. Exercise. Housework. Give Hawklad his breakfast. Feel frustratingly hemmed in. Isolated. Overthink life.

But eventually I start to breathe. Remembering what is important in life. In my life. Remembering those personal treasures that are so close to my heart. That always lift me up. That make me smile inside and out. And I realise just how truly fortunate I am.

Yes it’s been a typical Sunday. Well almost

It’s not RAINING…

WE can do this.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 63 Comments

Sanity

Its now officially over a year since our family lockdown started. A whole year. How spooky is that. Well at least I’ve kept my sanity.

Well that’s what the Apple Tree told me but the Nettle Patch wasn’t so sure. Unbelievably this Flower Patch thought I had completely flipped my lid. But these have always been PERENNIAL troublemakers. With feedback like that no wonder I talk to myself.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 47 Comments

Mixed

Another one of those school at home days for Hawklad. Two lessons fully made available and with in lesson email support. Can’t fault that support at all. Then two lessons with absolutely nothing. No support. No classroom material. No idea what the class did.

Yesterday was a similar picture. One complete lesson with full classroom support. One lesson with some documents shared but no support. Then two ghost lessons. Absolutely nothing. Complete radio silence.

That creates kind of a problem. In some subjects Hawklad is keeping up with the class. But in other subjects repeated missing or incomplete lessons will eventually take its toll. He will fall behind. With no prospect of him returning any time soon the issues with certain subjects will grow. A time will come when he can’t make up the gap.

It’s a real concern. I’ve spoken to school, but these are such challenging times for schools. I guess it’s just making the best of it for the moment. Hanging in there until Hawklad is able to return or he opts out of school teaching permanently.

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Abstract

Let’s be honest, it’s not really sunbathing weather here in Yorkshire. It’s ‘let’s see how many layers of clothes I can squeeze under the down jacket before it bursts at the seems’ weather.

“Go on then Dad, can you see it”

What is that supposed to be again.

“It’s an abstract artist’s interpretation of what our market town looks like.”

No that’s not really jumping into my brain that interpretation.

“What do you see then Dad.”

A series of random line squiggles and odd shapes. Forming what can only be described as a incoherent mess.

“Exactly Dad. Apparently that’s the town skyline and its most iconic landmarks.”

Really. If it’s most iconic landmarks then I’m certainly not seeing traffic jams, floods, not open at weekend signs, pizza takeouts and hordes of parking enforcement officers.

“Dad, Aspergers clearly doesn’t get abstract art…”

It’s ok Hawklad, Dads don’t get it as well.

“I’ve got to produce my own version of that now. Really…”

Shall we just put a pot of ink and a piece of paper in with the gerbils and let them get creative.

“Would be a good idea but the gerbils eat everything in front of them”

“Well you can help me do it.”

Ok do you want me to draw as well.

“No I‘ve seen your artistic skills. Look at the state of my hair. No you can do something your better at.”

Ok you name it.

“Go and find some chocolate for me please”

I can do that…

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 101 Comments

Fan mail.

It’s been a while but I seem to have upset someone again. A couple of comments from my own country. So to my new fan I am certainly not thankful for everything Boris is doing for us. I hear you, I think.

Our schools are open again. Brexit is the best thing we have ever done, We are free of Europe. We control our borders again. We are safer. We have beaten Covid. Apparently I’m a ‘trumped up lefty’, ‘a European lover’ and ‘I need to get my head out of my ****”. IF I don’t like it then ‘I should sod off to France’.

Sadly if you hadn’t of sworn I might not have accidentally blocked you.

Ok I’m probably a bit left of centre. Definitely think of myself as European. And I probably would sod off to Europe if I could. Unfortunately your beloved Brexit has just made that virtually impossible. So I’m actually kind of with you so far. But sorry I don’t share your view on anything else. Thanks to Boris we have the most corrupt Government we’ve had in centuries. We have some of the highest Covid death rates in the world. Our care homes were forsaken by his government in their our of need. Thousands died. We’ve had spikes in death rates directly correlated to decisions from Boris. Brexit is a shambles and killing off large parts of the economy. Our countries civil rights are being undermined because of Boris. He’s turned his back on the Grenfall Tower survivors. He’s refused to take action on all the other dangerous High Rise buildings. He’s repeatedly turned his back on the family’s in this country who are in food poverty. He’s slashed the overseas aid budget.

So no I don’t think we will ever agree. We shall continue to dream for really different countries. I’m never going to sign up to yours. That’s never going to happen.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 94 Comments

Vigil

Yesterday our Police cracked down on a peaceful candle lit vigil. A vigil where everyone in the crowd was wearing a mask. Cracked down on an outpouring of public grief. A show of solidarity with the basic right of every woman to be safe on our streets. Arrests were forcibly made. The reason – to comply with Government Covid Rules. The demonstration represented a public health risk. Even though it was outside and masked.

In 8 hours schools will be open. Lessons will be inside, in poorly ventilated, cramped rooms and largely unmasked. This apparently does not represent a public health risk. Parents are threatened with legal action from the Government if they fail to send their children into school.

My country has become a dangerously messed up place to live. The priorities of those in charge becoming more warped by the minute. Later this week the Government plans to go further and crack further down on protests. Even single person protests.

The tide has to change before more good people are hurt.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 47 Comments

Ray of sunshine

We all need those little Rays of Sunshine. Those wonderful people and things in life that never fail to lift you up. That always make you smile. That remind you just how good life can be. The best evidence that it can be a Wonderful Life.

I checked the work email system this morning. Thankfully not for long. Just 6 emails. Two boring ones. A couple of routine questions. That left two…..

One started off saying “why do I have to do that job with XXXXX, he is a T**t.” That piece of Shakespearean sonnet continued in a similar vain for 10 more lines.

The other email was an equally uplifting piece of thespian prose. Basically it was taking great delight in pointing out a mistake made by another member of staff. Carefully sent to everyone in the organisation.

Deep joy. I’ve so missed work. But this morning I’m able to just brush off those emails. I’m still smiling. Smiling thanks to those little Rays of Sunshine.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 30 Comments

Things you never thought

When this photo was taken I was in full on planning mode for what promised to be a staggeringly busy year for our little company. Just a few weeks later everything was cancelled.

A year later and it looks like some work is potentially starting to brew again. Summer and Autumn may see a few items hitting the to do list. I actually wrote my first official email in months this morning. How times have changed. Who would have thought that I would be writing the word ‘Biosecurity’ in an email. Thats this muppet officially using that word. WOW. That’s the kinda word that only entered my world in an episode of the X-files. Now it’s a reality. Yes the world has changed….

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 46 Comments

Out of practice

It was a three cups of Decaf problem. Trying to explain Displacement Chemical Reactions to Hawklad. Problem is that it’s been decades since I last thought about them. I was clearly so out of practice.

Out of practice….

That got me thinking. Yes I do think somedays. Just how much I am out of practice in SO many areas. That’s not just in the area of Homeschooling. Lots of areas. Out of practice because of lockdown, because of single parenting, because of life.

  • Haven’t been on a bike in over a year,
  • Similarly my last run was back in March 2020,
  • Haven’t been out to a restaurant in 5 years,
  • Over a year since I watched a movie at the cinema,
  • Not experienced a Quickening in ages (That wont make any sense unless you’ve seen the Highlander movie). Quickening is the name I gave to family gatherings. The last time someone potentially lost their head at these get together was back in 2018,
  • Over 8 years since I tried my hand at climbing AND
  • Over 8 years since I tried my hand at falling off a cliff,
  • Not played team sports in 10 years,
  • Not had to give a speech at an audience in 7 years,
  • Not danced in a nightclub this century,
  • Not done any paid work in months,
  • Not been paddling in the bracing North Sea since 2019,
  • Not slept away from our house since the summer of 2015,
  • That was also the last time I went on holiday and had to look innocent on my way through passport control,
  • Haven’t had a hug or kiss since 2016,
  • Haven’t met up with friends since 2018,
  • Not ironed a shirt in a year,
  • Not packed an elephant sized amount of gear into a school bag in the same time.

So yes I’m definitely out of practice. It’s going to seem really odd when I do finally get back to doing some of these things. Really odd.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 56 Comments

Back this week!

So much space…..

So all the schools are back this week. With some changes. A bit more of an encouragement to wear masks. All pupils to get a couple of rapid Covid tests per week. A test which gives inaccurate results in potentially 1 out of every 5 tests. But let’s not mention the giant elephant in the rather cramped classroom.

Most children and staff will be returning to classrooms in a country with rapidly emerging virus mutations without mandatory masks, in rooms likely to have really poor ventilation, with pupils definitely and staff probably without the security of a vaccination. And here’s the elephant entering the already cramped room. The PM has been doing repeated photo opportunities in classrooms. In carefully selected modern classrooms containing only a handful of children. Lots of space. But that’s not the reality for most schools. Too many are squeezed into small spaces. Nothing has been done to reduce the high classroom numbers. Not one thing. If Hawklad was returning then it would be to a class size which is between 30 to 32 pupils and 2 members of staff. In a building which is well over 50 years old.

Please tell me how this is a good idea.