I was trying to free up some space on the blog so I was looking what old stuff could de deleted. Can’t believe I’ve tortured people with 1600 posts since I started back in 2017. You know what, I never got round to deleting anything. I was too busy reading my first few posts. Wow they were bad (I’m not saying I’ve improved over the years as well….).

Reading those first posts a couple of message shine through. I was understandably messed up and I was at my lowest point. There was hardly any hope in my words. Hope is often the first thing that LOSS takes from you. It did with me.

Well 4 years later HOPE has returned. I now have a better perspective on life. LOSS is still the worst feeling. Loss of Hope is just as soul destroying. But now I can see a number of new more hopeful dimensions to this dreadful process. It wasn’t all bad. My life focus changed. I realised just how unimportant a career is in the scheme of things. A career is not about personal development rather its often a way of missing out on those important family moments. Single parenting is a tough gig but you get more time with your kids. More quality time. Time is the most precious commodity. And yes doors to close permanently but life eventually does go on again. New pathways open up. Pathways which would not have been found without LOSS. New OPPORTUNITIES, new FRIENDSHIPS. New HOPE.

96 thoughts on “New Hope

  1. I’m so proud of you! Wow! 1600! I have about 64 (publish once a week) and haven’t gone back too much. Isn’t it amazing how much growth occurs? I’m so happy for your new hope. Your journey is inspirational. ❤️

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  2. I was just talking to Daughter today about the Hindu goddess Kali, and how things must be destroyed or broken for new things to happen. Some plants only germinate after a fire.
    I’m not trying to diminish your & Hawklad’s loss. I can’t imagine how horrible it must’ve been. And I’m so very pleased to see you write about hope, and living life now, and laughter.

    … and I’ve forgotten the point I was going to make🤦🏼‍♀️😂😂
    I’ll just end with “beautiful daffo-down-dillies” and “sending hugs”🤷🏼‍♀️

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  3. In four days, it will be the 8th anniversary of my blog, which I started for exactly the same reason you started yours, except for the fact that I started mine to help people deal with their grief. My husband had died 12 years before and I’d spent 8 years keeping a dieary, then three more writing a book about the grief process. and another year publishing and promoting it. It didn’t take me very long, however, to discover I didn’t want a blog devoted entirely to grief. I wanted one devoted to life, of which death is just a part. So, I changed the name from Grieflessons to Lifelessons. I think you have come to the same point. I wish you two well!!!

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  4. It is always good to look back and realize how far we have come! So don’t delete them! Let it serve as Hope to you on the days when you feel down to see that you are growing. Keep hope blooming!

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  5. Oooh, I hear ya. I have read a few of my early posts – and I might have had a good point (or not) but boy, they were bad. It is nice to see the journey for us all. I like that your messages have hope. Although, I understand the loss ones of three years ago as well. 1600 – wow! I am only at 500 over 5 years. I need to get my butt in gear!

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  6. Yes! I’ve seen that in some of my own early posts, where I was still reeling from postpartum depression. Our words may sound dark and bad, but just the fact we were putting those feelings into the world shows we’re brave enough to be honest with ourselves and others. Plus we were reaching out for understanding and connection–that’s brave! And now here you are, seeing new goals in your community here. You have hope. And that is worth the journey through any amount of words. 🙂 Hugs to you and Hawklad, Friend! xxxxxxx

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  7. I remember the first time I stumbled upon your blog and thinking – wow, this is great stuff – you’ve never posted anything terrible in my opinion. I’ve been following your blog for a long time now and will continue to do so. Your loss has sharpened your empathy and compassion and you have been so supportive of so many people walking the grief road. I am grateful for you and your blog. 🙂 I am so glad you’re feeling hopeful!

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  8. I have not read your first posts yet, Gary. But I am sure they were anything but bad, simply expressions of a soul. However, I too witnessed your light appearing more and more since I started following you. What you wrote here is very touching. Yes, the loss is part of your life experience and your partner will never lose her place in the heart of her two men. There is this light that shines through the doors you are describing here so wonderfully. I am very thankful that I found your blog, Gary.

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  9. That’s why it’s important to keep a record of your feelings, of your progress. When you re-read it is always something of a surprise. So glad you have come to a better place. Life has a way of molding our plans for us!

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  10. My early post are often rubbish and full of typos. My mid-period posts were slightly better. And full of typos. My later stuff? Lightweight drivel and full of typos. When you have a formula that works, and yours clearly does, stick with it!

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  11. Spring is coming, the daffodils are beginning to bloom, the bees are starting to buzz around the garden, it all signals HOPE and Im so glad that your life is becoming a little more hopeful after the years of grieving you have had to go through. Thoughts are with you and yes the life of a single parent is not easy path especially a single parent with a son with extra needs.

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