I so remember this beautiful falcon. Happily settled on Hawklad’s glove. Calm and a definite trusting look in her eyes as she stared into Hawklad’s eyes. What was striking was the difference in the look she gave me. Think much less calm and at ease. Think much more, ‘you do know I am a bird of prey’……. The look this wonderful falcon gave me clearly had an underlying message. But what was it. Maybe……
That’s one uglychubby pigeon, how on earth is that thing going to fly.
Or maybe it was
That’s some kill. That will feed me and my family for about 100 years. But how on earth am I going to carry it. Might need to hire a troop carrying helicopter…..
Oh that look. Ok it’s telling me that I’m moving down the food chain league table but it’s utterly mesmerising. It’s exhilarating. It’s what life should be about. Memorable……
It’s inevitable that if you spend anytime on this planet then you will experience what LOSS feels like. Losing something precious to you. A person, a dream, a way of life, a friendship, a love, a companion….. It’s inevitable.
When I experienced LOSS I also LOST something else. MYSELF.
LOSS is about losing something permanently. Never getting it back. That’s why it hurts so much. All you can do is to try to learn to live with that LOSS. But with LOST it can be different. It doesn’t have to permanent. You can find it again. That’s what I did with MYSELF. It took several years but I have found MYSELF again. And here’s the thing, I actually may have found more than I LOST. I may have grown as a person. May have a better outlook in life. More appreciative of what is truly important to me. I definitely understand MYSELF better now.
Hawklad was trying to do some French school work. I’m not that much use, especially when I’m tired. So when it came to translations I secretly backed up my limited expertise with some discreet finger work. Can I use Google Translator to make me look awesome. All going well. With the iPhone hidden on my lap, I amazed Hawklad with my almost perfect knowledge and interpretation of French phrases.
Then it all went a bit mental.
All over a simple looking translation. I had covertly typed into Google what appeared to be an innocent phrase….
Je veux un bain
Clearly it was ‘I want a …..”. I think it was BATH. Problem was that I misspelt the last word. Easily done on a small screen and when you are trying to hide exactly what you are typing.
Je veux un baise
So I was a little taken back by the translation.
I want a f##k
Sorry….. You what…..Double take…..Until I spotted the typing mistake my parenting world had become very confusing and just a little unsettling. I definitely aged several years. See parenting is bad for you.
When you are stuck in a car waiting for any movement the mind tends to wander. Many questions.
What has happened to my country?
When did we become such an inwardly looking, uncaring, reactionary and thuggish country?
What type of twisted and broken country are we leaving for future generations?
What hope is there when a country becomes so utterly fractured?
Just how bad will things get for so many with Brexit going so badly wrong?
Why are so many voters happy to vote for a corrupt, inept, racist, lying, misogynistic clown?
Then the mind wandered to…..
Is it me. Is it me that is the outlier here?
If I don’t belong in my country anymore, what do I do, where do I go?
Then the traffic started to move. The hail kept coming down. The view out of the car windscreen started to change, sadly my view about my country didn’t…..
I’ve just listened to the lead BBC Political Editor basically say that British voters are not interested in questions about the PM honesty. They don’t care if he is corrupt or not. To them it’s just tittle tattle. What they care about is that how he is delivering Brexit for them, how he is keeping them safe from Covid and how he is one of them.
Excuse the words ….. what utter #########. Clearly the Political Editor doesn’t speak for me….
That’s the thing in life. Something I’ve noticed as the years have passed. I haven’t found many who I feel get me. Who understand me. Who can speak for me. Even those who should be closest to me. Family, partner, many friends. Do they really get me. Why don’t they see how I see things. Do they really understand me. They might but is that more what they want to see or feel. Probably not. That’s just human nature. I’m probably exactly the same with most other people. It will be the same for all of us. If your lucky you might find at least one person who does get you. And to set the record straight that is most certainly not The Prime Minister or the BBC Political Editor……
In all of scientific practice the law which is the most robust, the nose watertight, the most constant is SOD’S LAW. Some scientists call it Murphy’s Law. Basically if something can go wrong, it will go wrong at the worst time and worst way.
Today that law has been repeatedly confirmed here during carefully conducted scientific experiments.
Idropped my toast and it landed butter side down, picking up just enough pet hairs to render it even inedible for me….
I found two unopened letters which had dropped behind my desk. One was a Bill and one was a small cheque refund. Which letter ended up being the one that had clearly sat unopened and forgotten about the longest. Yes the cheque. So long that it was now out of date. Confirmed by the bank, if I had found it yesterday then it would still have been in date. It became out of date midnight last night…..
The power went off earlier today. Just when I was doing something really important to me. It didn’t go off when I was say hoovering or unfortunately when U2 was playing on the radio….
I went to make an omelet for lunch. In the fridge I found two boxes of eggs. One stuck at the back and well over a month past to best before date. The other the new box. I carried both egg boxes, one scheduled for the bin and the other for the frying pan. I tripped over the cat and dropped both boxes. One opened and smashed all the eggs. The other stayed shut and the eggs survived. And yes only the fresh eggs smashed…
So there you have it scientific proof the Sods Law is real…..
Have we transitioned to home schooling without thinking.
Another week of family lockdown. Another week of school at home. But things are changing. Increasing amounts of the school day being unsupported. Yes a couple of lessons still try to provide good teaching support but…… The other subjects provide support which is at best patchy and often not there at all.
So what are the scores on the school doors this week….
Lessons this week 20
4 lessons well supported
7 lessons providing a little support, enough to allow us to try and fill in the missing sections
9 lessons absolutely NO support, no idea what was done in the class, don’t even know which area the teacher looked at.
So the amount of classroom radio silence is creeping up every week. Some subjects have gone weeks without any feedback or guidance. Without support we are having to do our own thing. No idea if Hawklad is working on the same areas as his classmates in a range of subjects. So increasingly what he is learning is determined by him and his hapless dad, not be his teachers. That’s starting to feel like homeschooling. With no classroom return imminent, maybe we have transitioned to homeschooling by accident.
Don’t you just hate power cuts. So dependent on technology and then in an instant it’s gone….
Living out miles from a town or city means that we are liable to a few of these every year. But like buses, when they do arrive the tend to come in bunches.
Last few days we have a had fleets of them…..
Apparently a large section of cable has gone bang. A few years back the fix was relatively easy, just replace the wire section hanging between two poles. But now they are buried. Buried alongside and under a road. To fix them the road has to be closed. Problem is that where we live we only have a couple of roads AND the other road is closed already. For weeks as new water pipes are being installed. So they can’t currently fix it. So arrived the mobile generator. Unfortunately that has started playing up now. So repeated power cuts….
Ok most are short cuts. But here’s the thing. With technology these days it doesn’t automatically switch on, it needs to boot up. That takes time. So many items trying to come back to life. Unusable until they do. Then guess what they start to live again and the power goes off once more.
So frustrating especially as these things are normally a gateway to the important things in life. Well at least the kettle works and no power is required to read a book – as long as I can find batteries to put in the torch…
Bad weather on the way. Around here it’s called moky yukken it dooon. I probably could explain to you how that is pronounced but that would give away the Yorkshire Entry Test we have at our borders 😂😂😂😂 Helps keep out the numpties…..
A quick scan at todays news headlines tells me everything I need to know about the country I live in these days. Just why Yorkshire really needs these anti numpty controls. In a nutshell the following news words sum up modern Britain.
*************************
Boris sends Gunboats to Jersey to protect our fish from the French….. (that’s an unaltered headline, I kid you not)
Boris Johnson helps billionaire Friend James Dyson to pay millions less in tax….. in an unrelated story Boris Johnson’s brother has been made a Director of James Dyson’s company.
Governmentannounce that Covid strategy is on track and the threat from mutations has been overstated, testing data confirm that that ….In unrelated news the Government confirmed that they have not yet started surge testing for the really worrying Indian mutation as it is not seen as a current threat. Even without this enhanced testing, over 800 cases have been confirmed over the last couple of weeks.
Traditionally Labour voting Hartlepool is likely to vote for Boris in today’s By-election. Apparently the town sees itself aligned with Boris Johnson’s vision for Britain – in unrelated news, after Brexit and 10 years of Conservative governing Hartlepool has the highest unemployment rate in the country. It’s fishing industry has collapsed since Brexit. It needs 9 food banks (it needed zero 10 years ago) and just under 30% of children in the town are officially listed as living in poverty.
A recent poll finds that the majority of voters are blaming immigration for the countries woes – there are no words…..
The Government has confirmed a new royal yacht will be built at a cost of £200M. The Government has also confirmed that it is looking to spend £35 Billion on new missiles for its nuclear submarine fleet. – in unrelated news the Government has been unable to find resources to fund a proper pay increase for its NHS heroes or increase child poverty payments to families most in need.
The Government has confirmed that the budget for overseas clean water and sanitation projects will be slashed by 80% as part of non-essential service cutbacks – there are no words…….
It’s odd how you can get used to so little sleep. It’s basically been over a year now, lucky to get 4 hours kip a night. Often less than 2 hours and all too frequently no sleep at all.. What would 6 hours feel like…..
I hate first thing in the morning now. Feeling as if I’m wading through treacle and all without a functioning brain. Still there are some advantages. No need now for Movie Directors to train up actors for creepy zombie roles. Just film me in the morning, straight out of bed. That sight will scare the pants of people. Never has the phrase ‘need your beauty sleep’ been more apt…..
So here’s to another day of yawns, dropping things, crashing into doors and generally scaring the local wildlife half to death. Here’s to INSOMNIA.
A Dad trying to cope with the loss of his Partner and becoming a single parent. 